Since so many artists have decided to throw their support behind either Bush or Kerry, I thought I’d toss a few pennies onto the fire.

But I don’t want to talk about the candidates.  What I want to talk about are the artists trying to influence the race.

And why you shouldn’t listen to them.

Ladies and gentlemen, don’t let a rock star influence you in any way, especially when it comes to something like this.

I mean, if you want to drink a certain kind of soft drink, and you allow yourself to be swayed by a celebrity endorsement, well that’s kind of the idea.  However, this isn’t choosing between Coke® & Pepsi®.

And one thing that you have to take into consideration is the following: Rock stars (or pop or rap or movie or whatever) don’t give a damn about you.

Go and read that again if you must.

These people don’t have lives like yours, they don’t have worries like yours, and they certainly don’t have bank accounts like yours.

In other words, they ain’t you.  They don’t wait in line, they don’t work 9-5, they don’t sweat the mortgage…all the little things that consume your daily life, Hollywood stars really don’t worry about.

So don’t think for a moment that they are feeling your pain when it comes to the economy or the war or anything, kids.

And believe me when I tell you this war hasn’t put the slightest cramp in their style.

There was a time not too long ago when we got pulled into a war and stars in Hollywood, and these were mega-stars, dropped everything and went in to fight.

And these guys were on front lines, flying missions, getting shot at.  You name it and they did it.  They weren’t doing desk jobs; they were knee-deep in the blood and guts.

And this was a time when you were in the war until you were dead or too wounded to continue, whichever came first.

Did anyone do that this time around?  Anyone give up a cozy little television gig and grab an M-16?

Nope, but they sure bitched like they did.

These people aren’t like you in any way, shape or form and who’s in the White House for the next four years really doesn’t effect them at all, contrary to what they might say.

You see, when you got the money, it really doesn’t matter who’s driving you because he drops you off wherever you tell him to.

So believe me when I tell you that Jon Bon Jovi and Bruce and Bono and everybody else can just shut the hell up.

(Doesn’t Bono come from a country where car bombs go off like cuckoo clocks?  And he’s complaining about our country?  Just thought I’d bring that up…)

And believe me also when I tell you that I lean so far to the right I should be walking in a clockwise circle, but the same goes for anyone in the Pro-Bush camp as well.  

Even though Kid Rock, whom I usually can’t stand, got mondo style points from me for being with the big dawg from Texas (Well, that and Pam Anderson, but I do digress…), I’m not buying into it.

In other words, even if I agree with the point you’re making, I’m still taking it with a grain of salt. 

It’s not that I think that Ted Nugent is right or wrong or anything, I’m just saying that he’s not making up my mind for me.  

Now, I don’t think that all of you out there are nothing more than a bunch of mindless lemmings, but a lot of you are.  More than enough to screw up an election, that’s for damn sure.  (Or put Clay Aiken on the charts, but I digress and digress and digress…)

And as far as us being lied to by the President, as some of these artists say we are, that’s exactly how I want it.
 
You need to be lied to, ladies and gentlemen.  You NEED it.  In the words of Aaron Sorkin, You can’t handle the truth!

If you people knew just how unbelievably screwed up this world is, you wouldn’t be able to function in it.  And don’t give me that nonsense about making a change.  You people aren’t going to change anything, at least not overnight.

Maybe in a few hundred years you can possibly influence the tide of human aggression, but I won’t be holding my breath.  That would take a constant, concerted effort, and you people are never going to be on the same page long enough for that to happen.

That would also take something we’re in short supply of: concern for our fellow man.  And in case you hadn’t noticed, one thing we humans do very well is hate each other.

I don’t get it, I never really have, but that’s what we do better than almost anything else.  We take one small, insignificant detail, be it skin color, race, gender…whatever, and then we use that as a basis for a hatred so deep and malignant that God Allmighty has, on occasion, had to smite the whole damn place.

Now, when you piss off the Lord God so bad that he destroys everything in sight, you really need to consider going to some sensitivity training.

But, that’s the human race for ya.  So when I see minds being made up by some of the most self-absorbed, repellent individuals on the planet, it kind of makes my skin crawl.  These people are out there getting a little face-time on the 6 o’clock news trumpeting how you are gonna make a change if you just do what they tell you to.

News Flash: You ain’t gonna make a difference, kids.  Stop thinking that you are.  You’re not going to make a difference by listening to these people and you’re certainly not going to make a difference in a voting booth.

You don’t make a difference by voting, you make a difference by the life you live.  Your life has the potential to influence the tide of human events far more than the President of the United States does or any other elected official, for that matter.

Your vote will only decide who the next President will be, and that’s all.  And in the immortal words of Bobcat Goldthwait, “Blaming the President for what’s wrong is kind of like blaming Ronald McDonald when you get a bad hamburger.  Neither one of them are running the company.” 

And all elections are rigged, kids.  That’s just a fact of life.  They’re rigged because all votes are counted the same.

Think about something: I know we’re probably going to get a lot of posts at the end of this piece.  Read them all, from the most intelligent, well-written and well-researched to the most ridiculous rant by the biggest knuckle-dragger out there.  Then take this into consideration: Assuming they’re both registered voters here in the States, their votes each count the same.

Scary, isn’t it?  But ain’t that Democracy?  (And I wouldn’t have it any other way.)

You people can’t agree on anything.  You think you’re going to agree on how to run a nation, much less defend one?

You think you’re going to change anything?  What’s going on now has been going on for eons, it’s just that now we have much better news coverage and marginally better hygiene and that’s all.

And remember that some of the people voting on November 2nd are people who actually believe that Ashlee Simpson had acid reflux.  (You can’t handle the truth!)

So, if you are a registered voter here in the United States of America, on November 2nd go and cast your vote.

I said cast YOUR vote, not Bruce’s, or Jon’s or Bono’s or Ted’s or Kid’s or mine or Dead Sun’s or aG’s or Hobo’s or anyone else’s.  Cast your vote.  (Besides, Scott will Slapp you if you don’t.)

And then after you’ve pulled that little lever, go out and live a life that is so amazing in its sincerity and passion and concern for your fellow man that even the Lord God looks down and smiles.

That’s my two cents, now gimme some change, people, gimme some real change!
 
 

Chuck DiMaria is Los Angeles based musician, actor and antiMUSIC columnist (his resume goes on). Check out his website ChuckDiMaria.com for more of his writings, MP3s and more (be sure to read about his adventures in online dating!!) Plus be sure check out the site for his band Under Pressure.

Your turn.  PLEASE KEEP IT CIVIL!

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