Cat8Dog.com coming soon! For now here is a preview courtesy of the humans at antiMusic.com

.......... God Struck Out Of The Heavens

Cat8Dog distorts: God is apparently not fit for The Queen. The Oscar nominated film that is. The politically correct censors have reached a new zenith and apparently even the mention of the word God was too much for an employee at a film distribution company as he bleeped out all mentions of the deity before shipping the film off Delta and other airlines for in-flight entertainment. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... This Week: Bigotry All The Rage, China Starts Star War, Papa Dies, Britney Pukes, Marilyn Manson, Oprah, Obama The Madrassa Kid and much more.

Cat8Dog distorts: Here is the official Cats-eye-view of some of the top stories of this past week: Sad news in the music world, the other Papa died on Friday. Denny Doherty, of the Mamas and the Papas died at his home in Toronto. Not from California Dreaming, his sister told AP that "He had suffered kidney problems following surgery last month and had been put on dialysis". RIP Denny. [see full story for more stories] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Grey's Anatomy Star Burning Sticks and Bridges

Cat8Dog distorts: It is a now familiar scenario: A celebrity makes a politically incorrect statement, the press harps on it ad nauseum, special interest groups cry outrage and then the celeb makes a contrite statement, kisses the ass of the special interest group and thus creates a whole new news cycle while the celeb is forever branded with his prejudice. It has happened a few times in recent months (women with sugar tits are still in a rage) and the latest celeb to go on the "bigot press marry-go-round" is an actor by the name of Isaiah Washington from Grey's Anatomy. The only thing missing from the story this time is Jesse Jackson running to the scene to "council" the star. Maybe his plane was delayed? [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... MTV Losing Its Head

Cat8Dog distorts: MTV is losing its head. Head huncho that is. Michael Wolf, the president and COO of MTV Networks (you know all those other lame excuses for television channels), is heading for the door next month. We could blame Wolf for the lack of anything watch-able on the network (if you have an IQ over 80) but he assumed the position only a year ago.

Wolf isn't the only exec at the short attention span network heading for greener pastures. Nicole Browning, President of Affiliate Sales and Marketing, also handed in her walking papers. One can assume that both are leaving for the same reasons other execs at MTV's parent company Viacom have been leaving in droves. The media giant's new chief executive Philippe Dauman took the helm late last year and is currently restructuring the company. Perhaps we've seen the effects already with the placement of "Armed and Famous" on the companies flagship network, CBS; a show that's so bad it hard to imagine it on Vh1's celebreality line-up which isn't known for quality. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Terrorists Bomb US Embassy Toilet

Cat8Dog distorts: Greek terrorists have discovered a new terror target that threatens the very foundation of modern politics. They hit a toilet. The US embassy in Greece was hit by an anti-tank shell early Friday morning. No one was hurt but the shell did hit the front of the building before landing in the toilet. A left-wing terrorist group reportedly claimed responsibility.

"This was a rocket attack launched from a building across the street. It landed inside a toilet on the third floor of the embassy," a senior police official said according to Reuters. That's one way to clear a septic tank. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Malibu's Burning

Cat8Dog distorts: You would think after the 2nd or 3rd mudslide they would have moved out but no way, the overpriced homes are still selling in Malibu and now the city hosts a few less mansions thanks to a wildfire.

Four homes were destroyed and four others suffered significant damaged from the blaze which kicked off at around 5 p.m. at West Pacific Coast Highway and Malibu Canyon Road. The fire spread quickly thanks to the Santa Ana winds and reportedly claimed about 20 acres before it was contained around 8 p.m.

We don't think the Jews did it but we were unable to contact Mel Gibson, a Malibu resident, to get his take on that conspiracy theory. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... What's That Smell?

Cat8Dog distorts: New Yorkers got a big stink on Monday as a mysterious stench enveloped parts of Manhattan and New Jersey starting at around 9:00 am. This set the fear of terror into the minds of many as buildings and schools were evacuated but officials say there is nothing to worry about.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg assured his minions that they hadn't found anything wrong with the air and they had no indication that it was unsafe to breathe. "It may just be an unpleasant smell" and speculated that it may have come from a chemical leak, not a gas leak. The Feds discounted the fears of a terror attack. So where did the stench come from? New Jersey of course. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... The 6 Worst CDs of 2006

Cat8Dog distorts: "Our sales are dropping, our sales are dropping!" So cries record company execs and they look for any excuse except the obvious for their downfall. Stop offering the public crap and they may buy your product. 2006 may go down as one of the darkest years in music with so much crap flung on the unsuspecting public it's hard to just pick 6 terrible CDs that hit the market this year. But these are the 6 that I feel really brought the music business to a whole new low this past year. Some are so obvious I shouldn't waste my time on them but if I leave them out some of you humans will bitch. [see full story for the list] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Saddam Hussein Executed

Cat8Dog distorts: Saddam Hussein has joined the elite Dead Dictators Club. It's a club that's harder to get into than Los Angeles' Losers Lounge a.k.a. Hyde. The hangman didn't turn the "Butcher of Baghdad" away at the gallows; he welcomed him with open noose on Saturday.

Saddam made a latch ditch effort to get his 72 virgins by clutching a Quran as he was lead to his death. Meanwhile, the natives celebrated in the streets of Sadr City when they learned Saddam had been executed before sunrise Saturday. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Brokeback Ed Norton

Cat8Dog distorts: What would Tyler Durden do if he hadn't had a hit movie in a while? No one knows, since Tyler Durden is a fictional character. However, Edward Norton latest attempt to move back to the moviemaking "A List" was a real pain in the neck for the fading actor. Or should we say pain in the back. You see Norton says that he broke his back during the filming of his latest film "The Painted Veil." But don't worry he has made a miraculous recovery just in time to do press for his film.

Ed was out galloping away on a horse getting ready to film a scene and Mr. Ed had other ideas and tossed his ass to the ground. "One of those horses chucked me off pretty badly," the 37-year-old actor told AP Radio News. "I broke my spine in like three places. I broke my back. I broke three vertebrae in my back."[see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Mike Tyson Drug Bust

Cat8Dog distorts: And in this jail cell… busted for driving under the influence and possession of cocaine … former heavyweight champion of the world… Mike Tyson. Better yet, he was busted after almost crashing into a cop car! Smooth move, Mike!

Tyson was arrested after almost hitting a cop SUV while leaving a nightclub in Scottsdale, Arizona at around 1:45 a.m. Friday Morning. The Folks at TMZ said that "the arresting officer was part of a special holiday DUI task force." Oops.

Seems Mike has turned away from consuming human ears and turned to cocaine among other things. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Rocky Returns as Botoxy!

Cat8Dog distorts: The Italian Stallion may have given way to an aged Botox Stallion but that didn't keep moviegoers away from the latest installment in the Rocky franchise.

Rocky Balboa was released on Wednesday and brought in $6.2 million. The Hollywood reporter estimates that the three day gross for the film came in around $14.7 million. Not enough for a knockout but Sylvester Stallone can flash that big Botox limiting smile because his film is still a contender for the top 3 at the Christmas box office. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Johnny Depp a Queen?

Cat8Dog distorts: Hollywood plans to make yet another movie about a dead rock star. Johnny Depp is supposedly in the running to play Freddie Mercury in a film about the late Queen singer. The Independent reports that "Robert de Niro's company, Tribeca Productions, is said to be behind the project" and that Queen's guitarist Brian May confirmed via his website that the film was in the early stages of development.

May said of Depp as Mercury, "He would be a worthy counterpart for Freddie on screen. I don't think I can say any more right now."[see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Nutty Law Passed in New York

Cat8Dog distorts: Most New Yorkers are nuts, just look at their Senators, but there is good news for those NY nuts--- big brother passed a law requiring your medical insurance to cover your mental defect treatment!

Depressed? You're covered! Skinny enough to win a Nicole Richie look-alike contest? You're covered too! Gov. George Pataki signed the bill into law on Friday which requires that state regulated insurance plans offer mental health coverage to roughly 7 million humans in the state. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Diddy Dog Fur Coats For Xmas

Cat8Dog distorts: Bad news for the suckers that purchased one of Sean "Diddy" Comb's shiddy "faux" fur coats, you are wearing Fido. That's right, Diddy can't even get faux fur right. But he has finally found a good use for dogs.

The Humane Society of the United States reportedly performed mass spectrometry testing on the Sean John coats and found that the "raccoon fur" was actually from the East Asian raccoon dog, which like Diddy looks like the real deal but isn't. The raccoon dog is actually a member of the canidae species, which includes dogs, wolves and foxes. So maybe it was supposed to be fox fur? Hip-hoppers are not always known for their spelling skillz. [see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story

.......... Sir Bono? U2 Singer To Get Worthless Royal Honor

Cat8Dog distorts: U2 can be royalty. Wait a second, not really. Irish crusader and sometimes singer Bono is set to become a knight of the British Empire but the kicker is he won't really be a knight and you won't have to call him "Sir".

Bono will be given an honorary knighthood early in 2007 at the hands of the British ambassador to Ireland, David Reddaway. The ceremony will occur in Dublin, not England. But maybe it will be televised and we can watch via pay-per-view?

So what's the Sir business? Won't Bono be joining the likes of Sir Macca and Lady Elton? Nope, because he's from Ireland not Britain or the Commonwealth of former British colonies, the honor is rather worthless as he won't be a real knight and you won't be able to officially call him Sir Bono.[see full story for more] - Click Here for the Full Story