(Day in Rock) One of our readers sent this over. The following message (posted 3/31) appears on the official Tool website: You know the old saying, “no news is good news”, well… that was the case as far as the recording process was going for the new Tool CD, but now things may have changed a bit. Yesterday, when I went to the studio to give Maynard a bottle of wine (a 1992 Maya) for winning the bet that I had with him involving his new film “Sleeping Dogs Lie” (I lost by default, not being able to attend the Sedona screening), not only wasn’t Maynard there, but, in what seems to be a case of enantiodromia (something becoming its opposite) if ever there was one (!), I was told the reason why he wasn’t there. I wish this post was dated April 1, but, unfortunately, it isn’t. Like a doctor giving a patient a straight, honest answer to a medical diagnosis, without sugar-coating the truth, here’s exactly what I was told: “Maynard has found Jesus.” This will come as a complete shock to most (but not all) of you, as it did to me. In fact, it just seemed like another MJK prank until I talked to the one person who I believe would know if all this was legit or not. After nearly an hour on the phone with this person, the answer I received was that Maynard has indeed “found Jesus” and that, for this reason, he’s abandoned the project for the time being, if not entirely. I don’t know what the f**k is in the water these days, but hopefully a black jelly belly will turn up in that golden bowl… that’s all I can think to say at this point. Before leaving the studio, I watched as Danny made arrangements to go play some golf, while Adam and Justin kept working on a particular song. So, in case you missed it (those who don’t read the whole post), here’s today's news: Maynard has found Jesus… [see
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Rant or Rave? Your turn, post your comments and thoughts on this news item. But hey keep it clean, we wouldn't want to have to wash your mouth out with Old Spice.
Posted by think:
God is not a schitzo,he doesnt conform to you,he is not in all religions,God is truth ,the only truth.Christians don`t force anything,God doesnt force himself on you,you have a choice,were not robots,so there can only be,one truth right,there can`t be more than one God.There is mans own religion,(what man thinks God should be)and the truth,,,,about everything,.ask your self this,why are we here,i mean really ,why are we here.One truth one God .WE all sined,or have done something wrong,so how can a perfect God let us be with him?by just being nice,or just doing good? according to who?ourselves?what do we know?we keep messing things up.anyway,,for people who talk bad about Christianity,what about the good it has done,schools,hospitals,ymca,missionaries,boy scouts,caring for the needy,changing lives,A.A.,sure the church has done wrong ,but the church has done even more good,for humanity.So please ,think ,why are we here.Read the Bible,or better yet read everything,with an open mind.There can be only one truth.The bible IS the word of the person who created you,He wants to be in your life,to help ,to show you His love.Stop hateing,.
the members of Tool are only human,they dont have the answer,i`m not saying I do either.Just remember this,Jesus Christ was alive,there is more historic evedence then any other person in history.he did say he was God,and proved it,if not by his miricles,but what he said,read the Bible,,,the #1 selling book of all time.You do have a choice,you are not forced to believe,God would not do that.thanx,and keep rockin
Posted by Tater Salad:
Olaf, I thought my comments were pretty well organized, and not random at all, as would be typical of a lunatic's ravings.
Posted by xre:
It's an april fools. It was posted on April 1st and it's just dated March 31st to confuse the brainless ones!
Posted by Olaf:
People might be more inclined to listen to you if you layed off on the reactionary ranting and got off your high horse there tater salad. People tend to respond better to people who dont come off like ranting lunatics. Im fairly certain this is a joke, based on what I know about Maynard, and the proximity to April Fools day. Even if Maynard did "find jesus", that wouldent necesarily mean he has to quit tool. Unless he really was in with a brainwashing faction, which just seems highly unlikely considering this is someone who writes lyrics from a vehemontly anti-conformity standpoint. I wouldent put it past the dip$hit from Korn, but this is maynard for christs sake...
Posted by Tater Salad:
Oh and by the way, any xians who are reading this (if you're not, this isn't for you) and getting angry ....yes...get mad...curse...try to "hurt" me with your respons(es)...let that anger bloom into hatred...you know, the same "righteous anger" that drove your predecessors to murder thousands of non-believers in your god's name. it can't save you from yourselves...or better yet...pray for me...yes, get down on your knees, where your god says you belong, and pray for me...turn the other cheek and show the strong that you were meant to live beneath the boot. Yes...hate....hate...hate.
Posted by Tater Salad:
Thorosity:
Chri$tian Enlightenment? Surely you jest. That's an oxymoron. How is unilateral closed-mindedness against other beliefs,to the point where attempts to SCARE people into believing one's own system are made (whether one's particular sect of the Xian cult still teaches fire and brimstone punishment or not it's STILL IN THEIR BIBLE), rejection and the attempted emotional and social ostracization of people of other sexual orientations, and holy book commands that EVERY married woman should be obedient to her husband(what if she's better at running things than he is???), and that no woman has the right to decide what she can and can't do with her own body,(just a few examples) ENLIGHTENING? How is trying to force people of different psychological and emotional types into ONE way of living their lives enlightening?....but I digress, really....Head is a guitar player, Maynard's a singer. I'll bet you anything that they form a band for "Je$u$", and I would love to think that they are going to totally milk the weak dry of their money and then finally reveal all along that they were so doing it as a joke. It wouldn't be the first time in history. If it turns out to be a joke, it'll be VERY FUNNY. People care because musicians who make it big often become role models to their fans, ESPECIALLY young fans who are more impressionable and who place a great degree of TRUST(or faith) in the validity of their rolemodel's activities(that's why religions LOVE targeting children,[daycares/schools/etc] much easier to brainwash the naive and TRUSTING). There's enough bull$hit going on this world because of religion without these guys making it WORSE. No, if he's serious, he CAN'T be treated with the same dignity because those who knowingly let themselves get involved in activities for weak minds deserve to be spat on (I don't follow a belief structure that sells love and tolerance in one hand and death, pain and damnation in the other, so I can feel this way and NOT be a hypocrite). He has the free will to be xian, and those of us who are disgusted by it have the free will to express SAID DISGUST and to let him know it.
Posted by hikingartist:
Wow, what a coincidence; it just so happens I lost a Jesus the other day. Oh well, finders keepers.
Posted by Thorosity:
Who cares? Maybe to him, its enlightenment. Can't he still be treated with the same dignity that he is used to? If there is backlash over this, it will only show a childish, selfish response to what amounts to someones free will. Tools music sparkes the pursuit of enlightenment, does it not? If it turns out to be a joke, will it be funny or to close for comfort? Too many questions.
