Inspiration comes when you least expect it. As anyone who’s been reading this site for a while might have noticed, your buddy the Doc hasn’t been around for a while. Like I said in my ‘Staff Meeting’ write-up: I haven’t been inspired to write since Hunter killed himself. It’s strange really, a man I’d never met had such a profound effect on my life that, once he was gone I just couldn’t bring myself to try and write anymore. The creativity was gone. The desire was gone.

It took VH-1 and remembering the death of another man to bring it all back.

Last week I was sitting in The Lab with The Princess and The High Preacher (The Princess being my fiancé…the High Preacher being, well, that crazy sumbitch that tends to show up at the most annoying time and drink all my whiskey and rum. He had just returned from a trip to Eastern Europe for some kind of hunting trip…kept saying it was the craziest time he’d ever had) We were arguing over who’s the better TV character: Mr. Eko (from ‘Lost’) or Adabesi (from ‘Oz’) when I changed the channel to VH-1 and discovered, lo and behold, “Pantera: Behind The Music” was about to start. Needless to say, the argument ended and we all sat in silence and watched the story of, arguably, the second most influential heavy band of the last 15 years (behind only Metallica) unfold before our very eyes. 

At one point, during a commercial break naturally, I start talking about the time I drank with Dimebag and discussed dressing room destruction with Vinnie Paul. It was at that point I thought to myself: “Jesus…I have antiMUSIC to thank for that. I need to write something for them!!” And that’s where we are.

As for the Pantera Behind The Music: You really need to watch it. It was one of the best hours of television I think I’ve ever watched. I swear at one point The High Preacher had a tear on his cheek…I made the mistake of mentioning this and felt the business end of a Captain Morgans bottle. Had to watch the rest of the show with blood flowing between my eyes. Crazy bastard.

So, now that I’ve established why I’m here….lets get to the meat of this thing. Lets get to 

You know what pisses me off? Myspace.com. Yeah, I have a profile on there. And, yeah, I spend a lot of time on there staying in touch with friends that are spread throughout the country (and the world for that matter) But, nothing pisses me off more than the constant WHORING bands do on there. First of all, let me tell you, if you look hard enough when you set up security n such on your profile you’ll find the function to block bands from sending you add requests And thank god for that! Because NOTHING is quite as annoying as having to sift through 50 add requests a day from bands you wouldn’t listen to even if you had NO taste in music (and I, being an absolute music snob) have better taste in music than most everybody else…so, this function is a god send.

So, what do these no-talent asshats do to get around that? The start spamming your inbox with such Shakespearian prose as this:

Wow. What a crazy eclectic mix of music y’all got going on there, lemme run right over and check that out!!

Not really. 

F*ck you and f*ck your band.

What’d ya do? Run into the nearest Hot Topic and see who was selling the most t-shirts the week you formed your band? I mean, Jesus Christ!

“They defiantly aren’t anything like a clone of any of these bands” Orly? You don’t say?? You know WHY they aren’t a clone of any of those bands?? BECAUSE NO ONE IN YOUR BAND IS THAT TALENTED! Jesus you people are killin me here…..

Now, keep in mind, this is just ONE example. I literally get 25 or so of these a WEEK. It’s crazy. How can anyone over the age of, oh, 15 fall for this kind of mindless crap? Maybe it’s a generational thing…hell I don’t know. All I know is it annoys the everloving piss out of me and it seems to be getting worse by the day.

That does it for me for now. So, until next time. 

Mahalo.

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