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Dr. Fever is a syndicated columnist for antiMUSIC. The views expressed by Dr. Fever do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of antiMUSIC, the Iconoclast Entertainment Group, and/or our sponsors..  Yadda, Yadda, Yadda - you know the drill. 
Patriotism at its WORST

{Begin Transmission}:

Security is now TIGHTER at "The Lab". I've focused less attention on the Radar system on my computer, and more attention on the mail. Yeah, the threat of anthrax is very real it seems. Of course, I read in this morning’s paper that the anthrax threat may, in fact, be a DOMESTIC extremist and not Bin Laden or his cronies. Interesting indeed. My very own Haz-Mat team now scans all incoming mail to "The Lab" because, well, you can never be too sure. At any rate, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend the last month or so in terms of "Patriotism" and it's not a good trend. Folks..welcome to the new world. And the new 'trend'.

It seems EVERYONE in this country is an "American flag waving patriot" lately. I mean, on September 10th, most people didn't care about patriotism with the fervor they do now..hell..YOU didn't, I didn't, NONE of us did. We were content to sit here with our Child President and bask in our domination of the world. September 11th changed ALL THAT. Now? Every other yahoo you pass on the sidewalk is "proudly" flying the colors. I mean, we've got people painting their HOUSES to resemble the American Flag..not one small part, but the ENTIRE DAMN HOUSE! (I’m not making that up..I saw it on the local news about 2 weeks ago). Of course, where there's a trend..the money machine that is the Entertainment Industry can't be far behind. That's where things get really disturbing.

Remember the big ass telethon in the wake of September 11th? The one carried by all the networks (both TV and Radio)? The one that was the single greatest collection of Hollywood talent, oh, EVER? The one that featured such stirring musical guests as Fred Durst and the Goo Goo Dolls? Remember? Well, I sure do. Now, let me clarify, I totally supported that thing..the most noble of causes, but folks, it was a tad ridiculous. Do we REALLY need Tom Cruise on the boob tube trying to pry money from us? Yes, ALL the gobs of money that was raised went to disaster relief funds..and that is great. But, folks, Tom Cruise makes $20 million just to show up on screen PER movie! Nevermind the profit percentage, gross percentage, etc, etc that he gets. And this is just one example! Couldn't these people have just written a collective check? I mean, Tom Cruise alone has more money in his leather couch cushions than I’ll ever SEE in my lifetime. It's sad. But, then again, maybe I’m just steamed that they regulated the greatest actor in the world since Brando's prime (pre-donut induced weight gain of course), Jack "Cooler than all of YOU" Nicholson, to answering phones. Look, if Jack is out there asking for money to go to charity are YOU going to say no to the man who looked a little too comfortable as axe wielding Jack Torrance? I didn't think so.

Of course, the king of all trendy patriotism would have to be the music world. Look, again, the whole concept is great, honestly. It is. BUT, do we REALLY (I can't stress this enough) need Fred Durst RAPPING on a Marvin Gaye song?? Some things are not meant to be messed with and Marvin is one of them. What's next? Celine Dion covering a Frank Sinatra song? (uh, wait a minute..damnit!! Note to self; Kill Celine Dion. End note to self) Do you honestly think NSYNC, Fred Durst, Bono, Nas, Aaron Lewis, et al would be anywhere NEAR each other in the SAME recording studio unless they were getting something out of the deal? Uh, no. And, no they aren't getting just a warm feeling out of butchering a Marvin Gaye song..you KNOW they're making the loot on it. I wonder what one of the few celebrity patriots who's not being patriotic to make a buck or look good (Dr Hunter S. Thompson of course!) would say about this situation? Hmmm.

Look, I’m not bashing patriotism. I'm really not. But, be patriotic for the right reasons. Don't fly an American flag outside your house because everyone on your block is flying one and you just want to 'fit in' (note: There's been a flag flying outside "The Lab" for years now, just so ya know). Same goes for American flag stickers on your car and American flag themed clothes. 

One final note; a LOT of hate crimes have taken place in this country since Sept 11. (they're up 60 some odd percent since then). Folks, that is NOT patriotism. No matter how much your backwards, inbred mind might think it is, beating up someone of middle eastern decent doesn't make you a patriot or a good American. It just makes you no better than Bin Laden and his people. Remember that
 

{End Transmission}

Questions, Comments and stupid reasons why Courtney didn't kill Kurt (HAHAHAHA) should be emailed to:  PureRockFury@antimusic.net
 
 

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