GREENMUSE is a regular reader and fan contributor at antiMUSIC, the views expressed here don't necessarily reflect those of antiMUSIC or our sponsors, but we are sure you will enjoy what he has to say! 

Ahoy, may bob be with you and yours. Here in the green lair it's been grand. I finally had a much needed holiday in which I did absolutely nothing. I was the poster child for the sin of sloth. One day during my vacation I decided I needed new video games. I hadn't bought one since Gran Turismo 4 came out(only game I've pre ordered since Super Mario 2. though unlike the dismal Super Mario, GT4 was totally worth it). Now being the cheap bastard I am. I love the used game store. Out of all my games, only GT4 and San Andreas were bought new. Now in the same plaza as the game store is CD Warehouse. Now I love CD Warehouse, but their selection is usually lacking. After all second hand cds are like kids in an orphanage. They are there because someone didn't want them. Trust me on this, CD Warehouse has a single unopened copy of Kelly Osbourne's "Shut Up" that has been there since it was released. I know it's the same copy because I marked it with a sharpie. The key to enjoying life is to conduct pointless little experiments like this. Hell, once I found a Joey Lawrence cd there. Frightenly this sold within a week! I know because I went back to buy it. It would have made a good gift to someone. But this last time I was in there I found a plethora of fine cds to buy. I ended up going with Motorhead and Nirvana (the latter so I could see what the big to do over them is about). Now most people would be content with getting a good deal. I got a great deal, since I've bought the quota amount to get a free cd. What better than Motorhead? Free Motorhead! But back to the point of this article. You see, being odd like I am, I wonder why these cd's have found homes in the used bin?
 
Its not like you receive a respectable amount of money when you sell cd's .it would take like 5 of them to be able to fund a meal at McDonalds, so why bother selling the cds? More over why sell GOOD cds? I bought my copy of common riders' "last wave rockers" in that very CD Warehouse, as well as stuff by: Crass, Dead Kennedys, The Specials, Alice Donut, Johnny Cash, Social D. what sort of nutjob gets rid of this sort of stuff? I've asked the cds but they never tell me where they came from. What really breaks my heart is seeing The Clash in the used bins. I want to buy the cds just so the poor little fellas won't have to suffer the indignity of being next to moldy cds nobody wants. That's a fate reserved for Emo Band #495, not The Clash.
 
My theory: CD Warehouse runs a cd theft ring that is fronted by a car theft ring. Where do you keep a butt load of cds? In your car!!. My brother's car was stolen along with the case that held 200 cds. The police found the car downtown but the interior, rims, speakers and contents were gone. Now as you would think all clues point to theft of the car to sell these expensive parts, nobody thinks of the missing cds. Clever innit? Now I know you are thinking "ok smartass, where do they get the cases?" well, now comes phase 2. After stealing your car CD Warehouse runs your plates to see where you live. Because sure enough you will discard the cases to cds you no longer own. That's when they swoop in and complete the scam. Sure enough, weeks later you will buy these cds from them. After
all, who pays full price for cds they owned at one time? This scheme goes all the way to the top. Homeland Security, which now controls FEMA are clearing the people out of New Orleans...leaving the populations cd collections UNGUARDED!!! Maybe CD Warehouse is owned by General Electric, who's to say? I'm just saying it's something to think about...
 
This month's song of the month as picked by me is: Suicidal Tendencies' "Subliminally". Why? Just listen to it, it kicks vole butt.
 
 

Greenmuse loves to hear from you, post a message below or send him an email at [email protected] (he does get some rather strange emails from time to time... there was this one from a 14 punker girl who asked him if he wanted to...)