GREENMUSE is a regular reader and fan contributor at antiMUSIC, the views expressed here don't necessarily reflect those of antiMUSIC or our sponsors, but we are sure you will enjoy what he has to say! 
 

It all began about a year ago, my brother worked at a pizza place, that doubled as a pharmacy to those in the know. Well one night he brought some very nice reefer over, we proceeded to consume this, while sitting on the couch playing with a flash light, noticing the odd feeling that the light rebounded off the walls and settled around my ears, Mr. T walked through the door, and sat down on the couch beside me, goldchains, mohawk and all, he prophesized the mullet to me, showed pictures, explained the culture to me, for a while in this dream state, I had a mullet, extreme urge to drink pabst blue ribbon, wear Oakley razorblade sunglass, and various other mullet activates, then as quickly as it began, Mr. T was gone. So was my dream mullet. I spent the remainder of the night watching Herbie rides again, discussing the finer points of teletubbies. 

But ever since then I have had an obsession, maybe even infatuation with mullets, and the man who brought them to my attention, Mr. t. epilogue: ever since that day, I’ve felt a rush of adrenaline every time I see a mullet. I’ve spread the message to my wife and her brother, but both have succumbed to the almighty mullet. I consider myself lucky, my mom who left my dad and I around the end of my senior year, left with this goofy guy. Well now I realize he’s not just goofy, he’s a mullet! A damn fine one at that, beautiful red plumage, NASCAR hat firmly in place. Oakley’s surgically attached to his head. 

Even in the house, at night never does he remove them. Other than that I know little about this mullet of mystery, I do know his cd collection contains every mullet anthem ever written. 

Everywhere I go now I’m in search of my next mullet find, in fact I even was gonna become an undercover mullet agent, I had the car all lined up to buy, a bitchin 80 Monte Carlo, t tops, hood scoop. A mullet rendered in steel if you will, then for the crowning glory, my own mullet. But I shaved it off, while sharing in my mullet vision, my wife doesn’t want it in the house, so ends my tale of mulletdom, take it as you will, I did, and look where it got me. 

After effects:

lessons learned:

Perhaps next ill enlighten you all to my captain/boat theory 

This is a true story, sadly

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