<

Jealous Haters Since 1998!
Home | News | Reviews | Day In Rock | Photos | RockNewsWire | antiTainment Wire | Feeds


GREENMUSE is a regular reader and fan contributor at antiMUSIC, the views expressed here don't necessarily reflect those of antiMUSIC or our sponsors, but we are sure you will enjoy what he has to say! 
 

A Mullet Tale 

It all began about a year ago, my brother worked at a pizza place, that doubled as a pharmacy to those in the know. Well one night he brought some very nice reefer over, we proceeded to consume this, while sitting on the couch playing with a flash light, noticing the odd feeling that the light rebounded off the walls and settled around my ears, Mr. T walked through the door, and sat down on the couch beside me, goldchains, mohawk and all, he prophesized the mullet to me, showed pictures, explained the culture to me, for a while in this dream state, I had a mullet, extreme urge to drink pabst blue ribbon, wear Oakley razorblade sunglass, and various other mullet activates, then as quickly as it began, Mr. T was gone. So was my dream mullet. I spent the remainder of the night watching Herbie rides again, discussing the finer points of teletubbies. 

But ever since then I have had an obsession, maybe even infatuation with mullets, and the man who brought them to my attention, Mr. t. epilogue: ever since that day, I’ve felt a rush of adrenaline every time I see a mullet. I’ve spread the message to my wife and her brother, but both have succumbed to the almighty mullet. I consider myself lucky, my mom who left my dad and I around the end of my senior year, left with this goofy guy. Well now I realize he’s not just goofy, he’s a mullet! A damn fine one at that, beautiful red plumage, NASCAR hat firmly in place. Oakley’s surgically attached to his head. 

Even in the house, at night never does he remove them. Other than that I know little about this mullet of mystery, I do know his cd collection contains every mullet anthem ever written. 

Everywhere I go now I’m in search of my next mullet find, in fact I even was gonna become an undercover mullet agent, I had the car all lined up to buy, a bitchin 80 Monte Carlo, t tops, hood scoop. A mullet rendered in steel if you will, then for the crowning glory, my own mullet. But I shaved it off, while sharing in my mullet vision, my wife doesn’t want it in the house, so ends my tale of mulletdom, take it as you will, I did, and look where it got me. 

After effects:

  • Erich-has since shaved his head, had a daughter, gave up reefer,
  • Emilie – Erich’s wife still supports him in his endeavors, to a point,
  • Abby – Erich’s daughter, for a while had a mullet, but she had no choice, she was only 6 months, no other hair grew until recently
  • Robbie – Erich’s brother, gave up reefer to, still kicks Erich’s ass anyway he wants to go on a guitar.

  •  

     

    lessons learned:

  • 1. reefer makes you think that you are a genius of Shakespearian proportions, when in reality more like a dime store Harlequin novel
  • 2. Mr. T kicks ass!
  • 3. my moms left my dad for a mullet 
  • 4. the teletubbies live in a Orwellian nightmare, the loudspeaker tells them what to do, the pin wheels drug them with sparkly dust, their incoherent gibberish is really cries of pain, and wants of freedom and they worship some primordial sungod.

  •  

     

    Perhaps next ill enlighten you all to my captain/boat theory 

    This is a true story, sadly

    Agree or Disagree? 


    They call you 
    Your Rant or Rave:

    Fan Speak:



     


    .
    .
    Day In Rock Reports
    .

    • Led Zeppelin Are Over?- Rapper Captures Airplane Bomber- T.S.O.L. Offer Free Album Download- Coldplay, AC/DC and Amy Winehouse Global Top Sellers- - more

    • 01/07: Stooges Founder Dies- Ozzy Nuts Wanted- AC/DC More Fan Friendly Than Bon Jovi, Zeppelin and Eagles- Metallica Purple Hopes Shot Down and more

    • 01/06: Metallica's Ulrich to Join Deep Purple?- Don't Sleep With Your Bandmate's Girlfriend- Van Halen Auction- Ohio Player Dies- Free Springsteen and more

    • 01/05: Rock Ruled Music In 2008: Biggest Sellers Revealed- Axl Hints At New CD- The Grateful Dead Resurrected For Tour- Slipknot Frontman Going Solo and more

     Subscribe

    .
    .
    News Quicks
    .

    • Phishy Tour Rumors- GM Ditches 50 Cent- Free Nine Inch Nails HD Vids- Not So Swift Sales- Grammys In Flames- Static-X Cult- Stones Star Buys Hendrix Guitar and more

    • Eminem Fiddy Leaks- Winehouse Has No Appeal- Aerosmith Begin New CD- Fall Out Boy Theater- Super Bore- iTunes Go DRM Free- Drummer Hit By Car and more

    • Britney's Vagina Monologue- Big Bopper Casket Auction- N Suck Reunion?- Danity Kane Porn- Sum 41 Producer Audition- Katy Perry Dumps Gym Class Zero? and more

    .
    .
    2008 In Review
    . Top Stories of 2008

    • 08 Rewind: AC/DC Out Sell The Beatles- Page and Plant Member Dies- Deftone In A Coma- Stone Temple Pilots Future In Doubt- T.I. A Murder Target and more top stories of 2008

    • Aerosmith Singer To Front Led Zeppelin?- Marilyn Manson Member Dead- Linkin Park Injury- Van Hagar Recording- Korn Temple Pilot and more top stories of 2008

    • Britney Spears Sex Tape?- Pink Floyd Founder Dies- Plant Sinks Zeppelin Tour Hopes- George Michael Arrested Hagar Explains Van Halen Exit and more top stories of 2008

    • Dave Matthews Band Death- Hagar Slams Van Halen- Metallica in Muddy Mess- More Naughty Miley Cyrus Photos- Guns N' Sex Parties and more top stories of 2008

    End of Year Lists

    • Best and Worst CDs of 2008

    • Top Ten Metal Albums of 2008

    • 2008's Most Disappointing Albums

    • Screendoor List: Top 20 Concerts of 2008

    • Screendoor List: The Top 25 Albums of 2008

    .
     
    Reviews
    .

    • Bruce Springsteen Month: Born To Run

    • Voetsek - Infernal Command

    • Bruce Springsteen Month: The Wild, Innocent and the E Street Shuffle

    • Slik Helvetika - Krypt Kicker

    • Bruce Springsteen Month: Greetings From Asbury Park, NJ

    • Brett Dennen - Hope for the Hopeless

    • Bruce Springsteen Month

    • Xystus - Equilibrio

    • Best and Worst CDs of 2008

    • Top Ten Metal Albums of 2008

    • I Am Trying To Break Your Heart: 2008's Most Disappointing Albums

    • Closer - A Darker Kind of Salvation

    • Kottonmouth Kings - The Green Album

    • Whitechapel - This is Exile

    • Screendoor List: Top 20 Concerts of 2008

    • Ogre - Plague of the Planet

    • Portugal. The Man - Censored Colors


    .
    .
    Today's News
    .

    Led Zeppelin Are Over?

    Rapper Captures Airplane Bomber

    Phishy Tour Rumors- GM Ditches 50 Cent- Free Nine Inch Nails HD Vids- Not So Swift Sales- Grammys In Flames- Static-X Cult- Stones Star Buys Hendrix Guitar and more

    Is Bret Michaels Rock Of Love Is The Stupidest Thing Ya Ever Seen In Your Life?

    Cocaine Ok For Some People According To Lily Allen

    T.S.O.L. Offer Free Album Download

    Coldplay, AC/DC and Amy Winehouse Global Top Sellers

    B.I.G. Soundtrack

    Britney Drops Like A Rock As Nickelback Overtake Her

    Guns N' Roses Democracy Goes Gold In U.S.

    (Hed)pe Instores and Tour Plans

    John Lennon: The Essential Interviews

    Bonnaroo To Stream Past Performances Online

    Beatles Podcast Axed

    Kings Of Leon Tap The Whigs For American Tour

    Motown Teams With Hallmark

    Leona Lewis Jumps On The Let's Get My Fans To Pay For My CD Twice Bandwagon

    Keaton Simons Tour

    18 Visions Frontman Returns in Burn Halo

    Rockers Blu-ray

    Gary Husband Gets Hotwired

    Archer Join Black Label Bash

    Blue Note Continues 70th Birthday With New Collection

    Eddie Jobson Comes Out of Retirement With New Supergroup

    More News

    Subscribe to Day in Rock Report by Email

    .
     
    anti Worthy Links
    .
    • The Screen Door • Lloyd Zeffler blog • Gary Gonzo • Lonn Friend • Talking Metal • thecopycat.biz • 94WYSP Philly • 107thebone.fm • X92.5 FM Maui • 97.9 WCPR Biloxi • antiMusic Myspace
    .
     
    Merch and Tix
    .

    Click Here to Buy T-Shirts!
    Click Here to Buy T-Shirts!

    Search For Posters & T-shirts!

    Search for Tickets

    Or Browse For Tickets


    $5 credit at Amazon MP3

     

    Tell a Friend about this page - Contact Us - Privacy - antiMusic Email - Job Postings - Advertising

    Copyright© 1998 - 2008 Iconoclast Entertainment Group All rights reserved. antiMusic works on a free link policy for reprinting of our original articles, click here for details. Please click here for legal restrictions and terms of use applicable to this site. Use of this site signifies your agreement to the terms of use.