GREENMUSE is a regular reader and fan contributor at antiMUSIC, the views expressed here don't necessarily reflect those of antiMUSIC or our sponsors, but we are sure you will enjoy what he has to say! 

Nowadays punk has come back to the forefront of rock music, not since 1977 has there been a bigger crop of punk bands out there doing their thing…or at least that’s what the labels want you to think. 

The latest MTV darling is little miss Avril Lavigne; billed as skater punk, a real girl for real girls, a gifted songwriter and musican; when in reality she’s nothing but Britney Spears with chuck Taylors. 

Speaking of Chuck Taylors, Avril must combine every stereotype ever conceived about punk rock. She’s got the spikes, the bondage belt, the Chuck Taylors, the striped socks and the omni present tie riddled with safety pins. Give the girl a mohawk and she’s got the complete punk sterotype and yet she’s got the testicular fortitude to claim to be original! Johnny Rotten did it in 77 and Richard Hell did it 76. Unfortunately, the only thing she doesn’t do in the typical overboard style of a major label artist is the music, which after all is the most important part. Does she use loud and fast guitars, cranked up to the mark where they will strip paint at 60 feet away?  Not even close, after all that might scare the kiddies away, who are not used to anything harder than blink182. Actully it doesn’t even sound as good as blink, she sounds more like a bargain basement rip off of Alanis Morissette, whom her vocals sound eerily like.

The real gem of her being is found when you get her in front of a camera and then the true magic shows. She’s so overly dramatic and seems to always be “on” for the camera, to the point where its not even funny. It’s sad to see the extent of her trying to act like the media thinks today’s punks should act, which must be apes on crack, because whenever I see her jumping around or causing a ruckus at the hard rock cafe in whatever special it was that MTV did on her, all I could think of was Chim Chim from Speed racer running around draggin his ass. I’ve had the displeasure of hearing her CD from one of my neices who was recently into Britney Spears, but who is now “punk as fuck”, to use her words. The only song remotely fast or heavy sounding is the inanely titled ”sk8r boi”, misspelling words is the true mark of a punk rocker and she takes the cake with this bastardization of the English language. She’s like the musical version of the Anna Nicole show, so over acted it would make the cast of friends blush with shame.

Some may think I am once again donning the riot gear of the punk police and should lay off of her, because she’s doing her own thing. Perhaps, but I’m of the school of thought where she is nothing more than a clever ploy to capture the fans too old for Britney Spears and still think Pink is too hip hop for their palette. And it seems to be working with great success. I predict in the coming months we will see at least 3 more female fronted ponk bands (ponk being a combination of pop and punk, but even worse). Avril is no Eve Libertine, Joy Devirve or even Brody from the Distillers for that matter. Avril is a pop princess in denial, not the punk princess so many disillusioned souls believe her to be.
 

Upon inspection could it be that punk as hell Avril is as manufactured as her pop counterparts? A gander at the credits in her CD reveal that each song was co written by professionals, yet she has the yarbles to actually proclaim she wrote all those songs when she was 16.  As far as the music itself goes we have a conflicting story too, In J-14’s August issue, Avril explained her songwriting process. “Once I sit down with the guitar, I write about what I’m feeling that day.”
However, in the July 1st edition of Time Magazine, Ms. Lavigne admitted, “I sit down with a guitar player usually.”

A guitar player? As in someone who is not her playing the guitar? Which is it, Avril? Mmaybe she is sniffing too much glue and is confused, as everyone knows sniffing glue is the favorite pastime of punks everywhere. Now telling lies about yourself is nothing new in punk, Joe Strummer lied about his age and his R&B past and Mick Jones tried to hide his glam rock past and let’s not forget the old story of the Sex Pistols being manufactured by McLaren, but at least they TRIED to hide it and didn’t blatantly contradicting themselves in nearly every interveiw. I guess nowadays people are so desperate to believe there is some integrity to mainstream rock they are willing to look past the obvious cracks in the story.

Now in my opinion the heart of the punk movement was and is the song lyrics, political or social commentary, people fighting the status quo, being true artists as opposed to a product. Ca Avril match anything penned by Dead Kennedys, the Ramones, or Crass. Lets compare and see. 

Avril’s “My World”

I never spend less than an hour Washin’ my hair in the shower / It always takes five hours to make it straight / So I’ll braid it in a zillion braids / Though it may take a friggin’ day / There’s nothin’ else better to do anyway. 

Now let us compare that to her 1976 counterpart, the Ramones’s “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue” 

Now I wanna sniff some glue Now I wanna have somethin’ to do / All the kids wanna sniff some glue / All the kids want somethin’ do 

Both speak out on the boredom facing the kids of their respective time periods, now granted the Ramones seem simple when compared to Avril, but Avril’s seems conceived just to sell records to disenchanted youth? Think of it as bottled angst, that comes free with every Avril CD! Singing about braiding your hair is the 21st century version of punk rebellion? There is no need to look any further past that lyric to see how bogus Avril is, but I will give you another example, to really bring the point home. 

Avril’s “Things I’ll Never Say” 

I’m feeling nervous / Trying to be so perfect / Cause I know you’re worth it / You’re worth it / Yeah La da da da La da da 

Hmm a song about the typical teen urge to fit in, but it looks like Avril’s doing it for the wrong reasons (for someone else). Lets compare that to an older punk song that addresses similar issues, lets say Operation Ivy’s “Smiling”

At the party, at the bus stop, at the bar / You’re lookin’ at women because your score is under par/ When you find her, it doesn’t mean anything / You wonder why your life is so boring / A mind is a terrible thing to waste/  You would gladly waste it just to save face / Her desire is your wish, without it you are lost / Integrity is fragile but you ignored the cost

Jesse’s lyrics are a glimpse into the mind of every insecure man out there and the competiveness of the male species in the finding of a mate, as well as the stupidity of it. Avril on the other hand seem to advocate changing for someone else you want as a mate, maybe I’m biased, but Jesse gets the nod here.

Well I’ve gone on for much longer than I meant to, but I feel strongly on the issue of punk music and the cultural wasteland it has become, especially in the mainstream. Avril should stop the act; Shakira is more punk than her. Avril is the same pop princess that her fans seem to rebel against. I’ve gone above and beyond the riot gear of the punk police I’ve went and donned the equivalent of the SS uniform. This rant is dedicated to all the bands that have fought to keep some semblance of integrity to music. GM
 
 

Fan Speak:
What do you think of this latest low for reality tv. How about we have a show about Greenmuse seeking out the perfect mullet, harassing stupid kids at the mall, discussing the meaning of life with Mr T. That would be a lot more fun then this dribble!

Fan Speak:

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