GREENMUSE is a regular reader and fan contributor at antiMUSIC, the views expressed here don't necessarily reflect those of antiMUSIC or our sponsors, but we are sure you will enjoy what he has to say! 

Howdy buckaroos, gather round; your favorite uncle muse is going to tell you a tale, a tale of a time all of you may not have had the luck to grow up in; I’m speaking of the 80s. I know, I know, the 80’s are regarded as the high point of cheese in American, and perhaps world culture. After all what would you expect from a time when the USA was ruled by a guy who played a whiney cowboy in films? Despite all the bad stuff, the 80s rocked or to use the vernacular of the time, the 80s were rad.

First off there was the music, now me describing this is really about the same as Avril claiming Nirvana was a huge influence to her with the “nevermind” album, nevermind the fact she was 6 when it was around. but I’m Greenmuse, I can do these things and not be goofy like her. The 80s were a time with a pretty varied musical environment. There was hairbands, adult contemporary was big then too(why I don’t know, perhaps the yuppie culture),punk became the much more marketable new wave, rap was beginning to emerge from the urban areas and into the mainstream. For me the 80s were all about hairbands, I own(ed) the entire Poison, and Motley Crue discography from the time. I must have listened to “Shout at the Devil” daily, same with “Look What The Cat Dragged In”. By this time I deemed myself to tough to listen to Def Leppard. Despite Poison and the Crue wearing more make up than my mother has owned in her entire life. Its too bad I can’t say I have the cred that listening to all the great punk bands of that era would give me. I still wouldn’t change my hair band past for anything though, though I wouldn’t pee on them if they were on fire, Motley Crue is a fond part of me.

Where would the 80s be without the fashion? In the 80s I, like most males of any age, skated. So my fashion sense sort of revolved around the fashion that went with the claim of being a skater. Hell think I even used the horried “sk8r”to describe myself to people at the time. The fashion was huge plaid pants and t shirts, jnco can stuff it, skidz were where its at, and always will be at. Chuck Taylors were the height of footwear, during this time the Chuck Taylor line blossomed to include any colour under the rainbow, and even some that werent. The glow in the dark tiger striped ones remain my favorite of the time. Another really good thing about 80s shoes-vision street wear. They were basically like Chucks, but made of leather, and had an extra rubber piece on the outside edge of the shoe; an “ollie pad” it was called, which was ingenious because any skater worth his salt tore up a pair of chucks in the first outing, due to the grip tape of the sk8 deck(if your tape wasn’t any color but black, and cut into odd designs, you were a poser). The decks were huge, as were the wheels, it was a good, good time. Any one remember Simms Street Wheels? I sported some of those on the rear of my G&S Chris Miller deck with Santa Cruz Slimeballs on the front for a nice hot rod look, and of course I had the uber cool Gullwing trucks.

Now despite being a rad sk8r who liked hairbands, I still had time for toys. 80s toys are the best, hands down. Everything was a robot, even if it wasn’t a robot, you damn sure wished it was. The best example of this theory was the transformers, does it get better than having a car, and a robot all in the same toy? Nope, and you kids today can toss your “transformers” right out the window, they don’t compare to optimus prime, or bumblebee, or the lovable star scream. Robotech was awsome too, giant robots that were sort of like transformers, but there were people inside them controlling them. The robotech robots were like fighter jets, then during some other episodes they used motorcycles, that also were robots. Another good robot based toy was voltron. Robot lions controlled by people inside, that join together and form a bigger robot. I still have the black and green lion somewhere. M.A.S.K. was cool too, regular cars that had flip out parts that made them into battle machines even James Bond would be envious. I always wanted the 57 Chevy one, but I never got it. I did get the Camaro with popup gull wings. I know your thinking, ”hey greenmuse, mask didn’t have robots and it was still cool?” Nope, mask had a robot, it was the little boys scooter(why did all of the 80s shows always have a little kid who never did what he was told, and always got captured?)There were some other non robot based toys, He-Man was great(did have a robot, but he was minor character). Thundercats were as cool as it came when robots weren’t involved. I think the main charcters name was Leo. The thundercats were humanish looking felines, leo was surprisingly a lionish sort of guy. Well he had this sword that was small, but when he said ”thundercats, thundercats, hoooooo!” the sword grew to full size, (thinking about it now, it seemed kinda dirty)and you knew someone’s butt was getting handed to them on a platter. The bad guy was cool too, I forget his name, ra or something like that, he was a mummified cat.

So there you have it, some of my memories from the 80’s, they were great years those wacky 80’s.it was a robotic, aerosol encrusted wonderland. I don’t want to see the 80’s make a comeback, but it’s nice to remember the years that were. And remember kiddies, robots rock!
 

Greenmuse loves to hear from you, post a message below or send him an email at greenmuse@antimusic.com (he does get some rather strange emails from time to time... there was this one from a 14 punker girl who asked him if he wanted to...) 
 

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