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Hey RCA, Keep Clive Away From David Cook

05/22/2008
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(antiTorial) Dear RCA, Please keep Clive Davis away from David Cook. I've skipped American Idol this season, last season, the season before, season before that, etc, etc. Besides being sick of Paula "Hack" Abdul's absolute stupidity, I got sick of watching generic singers butcher songs by covering up the fact that they do not have a great voice by using the bogus vocal masturbation technique of over-singing everything. But I caught a clip of Wednesday night's show and was surprised by David Cook's jam with ZZ Top.

While as a rock singer he's good, but not absolutely outstanding. It was still good to see someone up there that can sing rock, play an instrument and has the potential to be a legitimate rockstar (remember this is based only on seeing him rock ZZ Top, he could be a poptart at heart). So RCA how about it? Why not allow David to prove his credibility and let him write his own songs? None of that bs Avril contribute two lines and call them a songwriter; let him do the entire album on his own and see what happens.

You can keep Clive busy by letting him take that bland nerdy little kid into the studio and make the cheesy music he seems happy with. That's a win-win, Clive can launch his new Wisconsin Records with the little David with a cheddar filled album of music for 12-year-old girls and middle-aged house wives, and David Cook can try to make a legitimate rock album and you might have a winner that can actually go double-platinum. The Clive "let's make em' cheesy" formula doesn't work. Just ask the last "rocker" to grace the Idol stage. Clive couldn't wait to get Bo Bice into the studio and look what happened, we got the ironically titled "The Real Thing," an album of warmed-over Nickleback-lite trite.

So again RCA, we've seen what you've done with past winners of Idol and the dismal record sales that result. Now that Clive is gone, why not take a risk for a change and let an Idol prove they are more than a televised karaoke singer? Who knows, he might come up with an album that I'd actually buy. That would be a first for me and for the millions that may watch the show but can't be compelled to turn that into a CD purchase. It's a crazy concept, but why not try and give them something they might want to buy instead of the same warmed-over generic pop that gave Clive his ego and sank so many shortsighted careers. Just a thought. I know you'll do the wrong thing and then blame the failure on the Internet. Why change now?

Before our regular readers get up in arms that I actually wrote this, I have to tell you that I won't lose sleep on this either way. I was just pleasantly surprised to see the ZZ Top jam and the potential to finally have a credible Idol. I know that's an oxymoron. And with the Spice Girl express behind the show and careers of the contestants, I know it's a pipe dream. But figured it was worth a mention that RCA has the chance to try something different this time. They won't take it, but they do have the chance.

If Idol's producers happen to read this. Why not try and get some credible judges while you are at it? I mean having someone like Paula who has to use more computers on her voice to make it presentable than the producers of the Incredible Hulk use to make their "creature," it's no wonder she loves everyone and everything, including music that wasn't even performed yet! Randy Jackson? He was in Journey for like five minutes right? So does being a studio musician who's biggest claim to fame was being part of a group that was popular over 20 years ago qualify him for judging a potential star of tomorrow? Well, dawg? And then you have Simon. His snarky comments are funny but he made his bones giving us boyband and Teletubbies CDs. So an expectation of getting anything with credibility out of this show with judges of this caliber is pretty much near zero. Go to rock clubs if you want to see the potential rock stars of tomorrow, you won't find them on Fox.

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