Singled Out: Sun Gods to Gamma Rays' A Ghost to Find
. The song "A Ghost to Find" was written about halfway through writing our new album. Our guitarist Paul came to practice with the skeleton of the song he had demoed, we all dug it, so we decided to jam on it a bit and learn the chords. Often while the band is working on learning the structure of a new song, I'll sit down with a pad of paper and pen and get to writing. Most of our lyrics for this record were written in one go, on the spot, while the rest of the band was learning the chords. This has been a really fun dynamic for me because I get to infuse a new song with ideas while everyone is still learning it, and that's exactly what happened with "A Ghost to Find." While the band was learning their chords, and I writing the songs lyrics, I came up with the chorus chords and melody in a bit of a spontaneous breakaway from the groove and verse chords. Our whole record lyrically represents a divorce from one's original self, and the blossoming of someone new. This song embodies the breakaway stage, and is lyrically very precious to me. I grew up a self-imposed, charismatic, evangelical Christian. A few years after high school I went off to university and studied philosophy, myth, and literature. It was during this time that I became very confused about my faith, as so many of us have experienced. However, studying the importance of narrative and myth, I also learned how the stories we tell ourselves are still incredibly important-it's hard to just let them go. The lyrics to "A Ghost to Find" represent a moment in time where I yearned to live a life that was knowable, where I wouldn't have to fight myself about my beliefs anymore. But in some ways the lyrics still use traditional Christian tropes, while kind of turning them on their head, so to speak. The first four lines give a clear picture of what is happening: "I am floating away from you/ you said that you would stay/ now here I am, reflections grow dark/ now here I am, in shades of gray." There is a sense of loneliness and pain, and a sense that the person singing is struggling with not living a life that is binary any longer. The second verse represents the ghost of religion past, how it's always there asking questions and making judgments: "haunted just by the thought of you/ a ghost inside my head." Beside the obvious sense of haunting, I wanted to portray that I was emotionally tired of this internal struggle with who I once was and who I am becoming. The last two lines really develop that feeling: "but I want, want to be found/ I can't stand to face this again." The chorus is really where a lyrical interpretation get's tricky, and the chorus lyrics still even elude me sometimes. "Come and find me in the dark/ come and take my by the hand/ come and heal me of my scars/ won't you come and heal my sins." Sometimes when I am on stage singing these lyrics I am desperate for a time in my past when I felt I had a clear understanding of my worldview. Othertimes I am singing these lyrics into the abyss, hoping that maybe someone will hear my call and come along side me in my struggle to understand my changing worldview. I like that the lyrics can be continually re-negotiated, because in many ways that embodies the struggle that is represented in the lyrics: that life isn't nearly as black and white as we think it is. Hearing is believing. Now that you know the story behind the song, listen for yourself as you watch the video here and learn more about the group and the album right here!
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