antiGUY had his Top 5
and everyone and their brother has a Top 10 but only Dolly Doppelganger
can produce a Pop 9. In true Dolly fashion, antiMusic's mother of
invention and unconventional gives us her Pop 9 lists. Warning to
the gullible, Dolly has been known to make things up out of thin air so
the only reality you may find in these lists are the ones between Dolly's
ears. For the brain dead and lawyers that means that what you are about
the read may not be based in fact and is only the opinion or the imagination
of Dolly Doppelganger. So with that let's get Dolly to pop off!
Nobel Concert Ideas
No doubt you are excited by the announcement
that there is going to be a concert to hail the Nobel Prize winner in the
'peace' category, featuring Oscar nominees Julianne Moore & Selma Hayek.
This gracious act by the very people that stumped so hard to get Bono elected
in this category has stupefied & bewildered the masses. How could Hollywood
overlook the fact that Bono was NOT even nominated, in spite of his massive,
single handed efforts to lower poor countries credit card debt by refinancing
their grass huts while interest rates are low? This trickery by the scheming,
anti American Nobel Prize committee resulted in glittery masters of ceremony
already being hired & a black tie event already well into the planning
stages when the crushingly disappointing announcement that Mohamed El Baradei
and the International Atomic Energy Agency he leads had won the top prize.
Between copious amounts of tears, the Committee to Celebrate Exciting Things
announced the entertainment for the other top prizes.
1. Nobel Prize for Economics, performances
by award- nominated Weezer, the much decorated accounting firm that handles
the voting for the Academy awards, and Tom Rogers, runner up in the 1997
Glad Garbage Bags 'how much can you stuff in a Glad Bag? contest.
2. Nobel Prize for Literature, performances
by award nominated poetry recital judges TBA, and well spoken literate
award nominee, Steven Segal.
3. Nobel Prize "Rawk On" Concert Series
for Chemistry, performances by My Chemical Romance, Ed Gein and a surprise
appearance by award winning chief patent securer for Eli Lilly Laboratories.
4. Nobel Prize for Gardening, Non-
Deciduous Category, enjoy a hit song from diverse bands such as Nelson,
the Achy Breaky Heart guy, and many more bands that exemplify the opposite
of a non- deciduous career span as you listen to plant growing tips from
much nominated for many awards Cooperative Extension #357.
5. Nobel Prize for Creative Finance,
features free real estate speculation & Nigerian email opportunities
hosted by internationally acclaimed & award nominated entrepreneurs,
as well as tax advice for starting your own religion or not for profit
business from the nation's leading tax dodge advisers with many years of
experience and award nominations for various accomplishments.
6. Nobel Prize Concert for best performance
by most Melodramatic or Amusing Crossover star, featuring performances
by some of those nominated in this category: rants by the where is he now
'George Bush hates black people' guy, 'How to find a sperm donor &
be a mommy' seminar from Brittney Spears, 'I bet I can adopt more kids
than Mia Farrow, hope Brad doesn't marry any of 'em when he's old &
creepy' speech on the state of orphans in the UN by Angelina Jolie, and
many, many more.
7. Nobel Prize for best leaf collection
practices, deciduous category, performances by various tiller & lawn
vacuum companies and a raffle every hour to give away $10,000 in powerful
lawn tools! Maybe by next year, the winner will be you!
8. Nobel Prize for Collecting the
most/ or strangest things, hosted by the California chapter of Obsessive-Compulsive
Anonymous, featuring special guests, on loan from an award winning institution,
Liza Minelli & Michael Jackson, for a limited time only! Be sure not
to make eye contact & wear rubber gloves. Ticket holders wearing shirts
with less than 7 but more than 3 buttons will be allowed in, but shirts
made out of fur, onion bags, hair, skin, plastic, nylon or synthetics will
be turned away at the door, sorry!
9. Nobel Prize for Vapidity and/or
superficiality, hosted by, like, I can't really remember and don't really
care, I have to do my hair now & last time it took forever, because
my eyelash curler is gone, and since I keep forgetting to buy a new one,
I spend so much time looking at my eyelashes instead of doing my hair &
I forget what I'm doing & before I know it, 3 hours has gone by &
hang on, I have to see who is calling to talk to me, (I'm not surprised
that I have a phone call, I am really interesting, once you get to know
me)
GUESS WHAT!?!?! I WON THIS YEARS NOBEL
PRIZE IN THAT CATEGORY!!! Forget my hair; I need to organize a concert!!
Your
turn.
Fan
Speak:
Posted by Wes Rains:
aG, I really didn't think of that. It is Dolly so if she does it will be great.
Posted by DeadSun:
I would really like to see further developments regarding the Nobel Prize for Vapidity. The occupational list of those eligible for candidacy would be enormous: A-list actors and actresses, award winning musicians, politicians, educators, talk show hosts, liberals, fundamentalists, bureaucrats, businessmen/women, and the French.
Posted by aG:
Love ya Dolly! Funny list. Wes Dolly is probably saving Sharon for a list all of her own. If she isn't, she should!
Posted by Wes Rains:
I think Sharon Osbourne should win for screwing as many people as possible award. Besides her obiviously screwing Ozzy's career, she has spawned Kelly, started some stupid war with Bruce Dickenson, has the Blizzard of Ozz and Diary of Madman ruined,excuse me remastered, screwing both the bass player and drumer out of royalities and probably has Randy Rhoades spinning in his grave.
