antiGUY had his Top 5 and everyone and their brother has a Top 10 but only Dolly Doppelganger can produce a Pop 9.  In true Dolly fashion, antiMusic's mother of invention and unconvention gives us her Pop 9 lists.  Warning to the gullable, Dolly has been known to make things up out of thin air so the only reality you may find in these lists are the ones between Dolly's ears. For the braindead and lawyers that means that what you are about the read may not be based in fact and is only the opinion or the imagination of Dolly Doppelganger. So with that let's get Dolly to pop off! 

The poor Paltrow-Martins! The world's supply of good baby names has been depleted, leaving them with the scrapings & non names. No wonder they were forced to use produce to name their kids! In an attempt to prevent a costly lawsuit by the Grocery- Workers Union, I have devoted several precious minutes of my time thinking about this perplexing problem of what to name the next kid. Hopefully they will find something on this list that appeals to them, and spares kid #2 the mocking & ridicule that #1 is sure to get from schoolyard bullies. Here ya go!

1. Guitar: Maybe they could name the kid this, and then s/he might demonstrate some discernable talent at playing music that doesn't suck. Hard to fathom, given his lineage, but such a thing could happen! 

2. Mercury: Hopefully the kid grows up to make a name for himself as a slightly toxic heavy metal. Dare to dream!

3. Cocker Spaniel: Who wouldn't want to name their kid after the most popular & beloved breed of dog? Unfortunately, this name could attract the taunting of school yard bullies, when they discover the lovely nickname it naturally lends itself to. However, this might help out his big (sister? Brother?) sibling fend off abuse from children of grocery union workers. No sense having all the teasing fall on the only kid in the family with the weird name after all!

4.New England Patriot: This would really cheer up those that still weep over the NEP getting kicked out of the Super Bowl running after their crushing defeat to (insert victorious team name here). Plus, all those mixed up Brits and their soccer/ football confusion could have a little sports ambassador going to school with them, teaching them about what football really is every time s/he introduces him/herself.

5. Limestone: This is a rather old fashion name, I admit, but it carries some distinguished baggage with it, like rare character traits! I think someone that had a name like this would epitomize strength, ruggedness, timelessness & driveways. I bet they would even be a success at selling used cars, given that! I would sure trust someone like that, who wouldn't?!

6. Peanut Butter: I wasn't originally going to put any foods in here, for fear of lawsuits, but I just can't think of anything else that goes with apples as well, can you? Well, maybe lemon juice, or brown sugar, or cinnamon...ok, I guess they could insert any food name here & just beat 'em if they don't get along well with the big sib. That would save some time, I imagine.

7. Cell Phone: No one wants a kid that isn't going to be able to fit in & function well in such a high tech economy, and I'm sure the GwenPlay family is no different! Name him this & watch how well he adapts to the times, I just betcha!

8. Cold Cut: Again, it's so hard to avoid the food names, isn't it? But with this name his dad's overrated band could get a free mini- plug every time this kid utters his name! Imagine all the free eye rolling that would take place when people think about why exactly his wacky parents gave him such a stupid name  

9. Pablo Honey: I can't help this last food name, but Chris Martin called me up & told me this was the actual name they have selected. This came to him in a vision one day during an interrogation, where he bravely faced accusations of stalking & impersonating Thom Yorke. He was so startled by the hostility that he took a quick break from his candle lighting & self-flagellation ceremony in his Radiohead shrine to spit out this defense to investigators, "I don't think we'd be anywhere if Radiohead didn't exist. I think we're like why Diet Coke was big. Because some people couldn't handle Coke. That's how I see Coldplay" Yup! It takes a real man to admit they are little more than watered down tripe for college kids & people who live in Alaska.

There ya go guys, congrats & Rawk onnnn!!
 

Your turn. 

Fan Speak:

Posted by zB9syYFsdf:
uHCIuHO7wCnT k0fMZ6eKyO LE8iLUVZMYHk4y