Disclaimer: the opinions
expressed are those of the author, not necessarily those of antiMUSIC,
or the iconoclast entertainment group
Isn’t it time for Britney to fall off the
map? I don’t get off on doing this, so don’t point the finger at me for
pointing it out to those who need showing... Consider me a mirror.
But WHAT IS BRITNEY thinking? Nick and Jessica worked, yes, because
no one had heard of either outside of the boyband arena before. Even
the reality show about Ashley, Jessica’s sister, worked because it piggy-backed
her sister. There’s something really sad, however, when shows like
“The Surreal Life” make FLAVOR-FLAV and Bridget Neilsen a celebrity couple,
and even provide them with THEIR own reality show!!!!! When does
it stop? When do Americans get interested enough in their own lives
and their own home videos to not have to feed off those of has-been celebrities
who have NO BUSINESS being on television- especially in the case of Sly’s
ex, YUCK! I don’t know what happened between Rocky IV and now, maybe
Bridget let Ivan Drago use her as a sparring partner? But, man-oh-man,
there’s just things they DO NOT need to show on television. Many
of these reality shows are like articles in the National Enquirer come
to life, and the same basic premise exists for both: they only exist because
we let them- PERIOD!
Now, after we’ve cycled through all of
the aforementioned, and the downward cycle is almost complete, we get BRITNEY
& KEVIN! And on UPN no less! May I first ask one VERY important
and relevant question: do you really believe anyone who was listening to
Britney Spears back in 1999 is still listening to her now? NOPE.
Those girls are all teenagers with cars, and I promise you- based on the
sales of Britney’s Greatest Hits record, which BARELY went platinum, her
core fan base has moved on. So, now the dissection begins class:
for our first incision, we examine the current state of her career: IN
THE TOILET. So it fits within the general context of the stars of
the Surreal Life I suppose, but works in reverse of something like Nick
and Jessica because they were launching their careers with a reality show,
not ending or trying to revive it. Further, who is this KEVIN dude?
Who cares about KEVIN? No one but Britney, I would argue, and that
worked well for all of us when it looked like she was giving up her already
floundering career to start a family. Great! Super! “You
Go Girl!” But now, of course, in an attempt to cash in on one last
pathetic second in the spotlight- and on UPN no less (I still can’t get
over the fact that she couldn’t land a better network, VH1 would have been
more respectable... shit even the WB!), we can finally conclude that BRITNEY
SPEARS IS A HAS BEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love to say that, LOVE IT,
because I have been waiting and waiting and waiting, for years upon years
upon years, to be able to safely proclaim the terror over! And it
just might finally be.
For those of you who come here routinely
and post about bands trying to make one last attempt to cash in before
retirement as though its something pathetic- even supposing its true for
Motley Crue, for Nikki Sixx, at 46 with 5 kids to feed, that’s actually
okay. It makes sense, and frankly, for anyone at that point in their
careers, who have lasted 25 years, its pretty respectable, especially given
the sales their tour and latest Greatest hits collection is doing.
It ACTUALLY went platinum! Britney on the other hand, is a more appropriate
target for your attacks in the aforementioned criticism! With her
reality show, she is CLEARLY and IRREFUTABLY trying to cash in one last
time before her bubble bursts completely, but oddly enough, SHE’S DOING
IT AT 23!!! And exactly what reality is she trying to capture and
clarify with this show? That she’s washed up? No one cares
about her romance, really, and for all the wining she does about her privacy
being invaded, it seems an awful lot like she’s spreading her legs and
her shades for the camera here- ONE MORE TIME! I think that’s a line
from one of her hits. I only know it because when I was a prisoner
in the hell of her career highlight, strapped into the pop torture chair
at the local barber shop like some kind of underground interrogation center,
I was forced to listen repeatedly to that crap on the radio, like some
kind of noise-torture technique they use to get information from spies
on ‘24’.
Britney has tried it all: acting- HELL
NO; the lesbo thing when she kissed Madonna, it worked in the moment, but
she has none of whatever Madonna has that has kept her around for the past
25 years. She got married for 55 hours, and made some red neck from
her backwoods Louisiana hometown rich, good for him, but it only made her
look like a MORON! What else? She covered a Bobby Brown song
on her “Greatest Hits” album, which no one bought- because she’s not Bobby
Brown! Bobby Brown is actually controversial, otherwise he wouldn’t
have stayed in the headlines all these years. And he can actually
sing. And a reality show on his and Whitney’s life might actually
be interesting! You know why, BECAUSE HE’S MARRIED TO WHITNEY HOUSTON!!!
Britney’s married to a nobody, and therein, NOBODY CARES!!!! Give
UPN’s huge share of the TV viewing demographic, hopefully Britney’s show
will tank quickly, and they can run Moesha re-runs instead. Its not
that we want to be hard on these personalities: but truthfully, she’s acting
like the one in the relationship who was dumped and can’t let go...
She’s made $110 Million, Jesus, she’s only 23, and just this week announced
to the press that she was pregnant! Congradulations! So go
on, retire, start your family, hide from the prying eye of the Paparazzi
you complain so routinely about, cancel this sad and pathetic reality show
thing, and don’t add further insult to injury. Because the truth
be told: no one really cares anymore. To quote my boys in the Crue,
Britney, Don’t Go Away MAD, JUST GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shameless Plug: In June, yours truly
will have 4 new books out on the market: “Dust N’ Bones: The Untold Story
of Izzy Stradlin”, which is now available for pre-order, and which I have
been shamelessly plugging all spring, along with 3 other titles from the
same publisher, Amber Books- “Jay Z and the Roc-A-Fella Dynasty”, “50 Cent:
No Holds Barred”, and “Tupac in the Studio.”
Posted by thesubliminalverse.:
aaaahh back to britney spears. how bout this: never got into her even at the 'pinnacle' of her 'career'. end of all discussion! why bother writing about her in the first place? just everyone forget about her. if we all join hands and wish real hard, maybe she'll disappear. and the personal insults? props, bet it took a lot of guts to sit behind a screen and attack people you will never meet in your life. and yes, for all you that will call me a hypocrite now for saying that, i would say the exact same things to britney spears' face if i ever had the desire to approach her. hey britney: you are not welcome on planet earth. you are wasting our oxygen and polluting our oceans.
Posted by BUTCH:
you're so not witty.
Posted by harvey daye jr:
okay I'll play your game...oops, when i switched, the ass finger accidentally landed in your mouth :-D
Posted by BUTCH:
switch again, harv.---(im too good at this)
Posted by harvey daye jr:
FUKK YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TOO BUTCH!!|!!
Posted by Lith (again):
And Jake, if you feel the need to bash, how about bashing ish like Paul McOldfartney coming to rape America for $50 cheap seats again, or the Eagles, or Aero$mith? How about cornholing the record industry who feels the need to foist the Britneys and Jennifer Fat Butts on the American ear? Hell yes Britney music is a joke, but maybe the joke is on the idiots who actually go out and pay money to buy the crap. Hell, Icould write 200 web pages against the crap music out there, but maybe you who have the voice and the means to actually get published on the web should spew the venom not at the morons but at the real morons who defecate this stuff on us. Nope, you know why? Because we the morons buy this ish. Maybe you can use your podiun to educate people about bands that our worth our money and our ears. I know you like the Crue, OK, hell, they're better than 50 Cent, but maybe you know of a band that is real kickass but tey don't get any press. Promote these bands, my brother. This, to me, is what anti is about. Letting people about about the good stuff that is out there. We all know Britney bites elephant wood.
Posted by LithiumBliss:
Jake, hang in there, man. Yeah, I busted your balls, but that's what makes anti great. You have to have a thick skin and a good wit to come back at the ballbusters to make it here. This is not the MTV site where nut-licking sycophants congregate to praise each other over their fawning worship of Britney and her ilk, this is irreverant and cutting edge ish. Hey, if you want to bash Britney and that's all you can come up with for the day - hey, I don't have a regular column here (and I respect the people who can put it out monthly), but take the barbs along with the kudos. We're f***king harsh here, but that's what makes this place matter. This is not Sasame Street, it is one badarse real site for music news and commentary. I challenge you to rise to the occasion and kick our asses with killer articles.
Posted by BUTCH:
why dont you stick one thumb in your mouth and your other thumb in yer a$$ and play switch.--then you'll taste what your post sound like, harv.
Posted by harvey daye jr:
Nobody gives a phuck about Britney Spears anymore! Why don't you find a new target? Ass!
Posted by steve:
Yeah, can't go wrong with beans.
Posted by BUTCH :
yeah "we" do. for every 10 times you hit your thumb with the hammer you'll hit the nail right on the head. and those are odds you must always play. --the more you think the less you feel. and the less you feel the more the music sounds trite.--so lets have beans for every meal. huh?
Posted by steve:
Gotte disagree with you, Butch. There's value in both well thought out and spontaneous music or writing, but the Internet is clogged with angry, spontaneous "rants" that mostly don't say anything we've heard a billion times before. We don't really need any more of those.
Posted by BUTCH:
ah, don't kick him when he's down, steve.--i take exception with the "well-thought out" part you mentioned. why? music isn't (or shouldn't be) well thought out. it should be spontanous. an involuntary action followed by an involuntary reation. like getting a woody when the waitress accidently brushes up against you with her plump a$$. same thing. now, why not write columns like that? why think about writing about something your suppose to feel? follow? think too much you'll fukk it up. study long, study wrong. --you know, i might start writing (or at least submit) a column. if i'm gonna attack people the way i do, i ought to open myself up for more ridicule. its only fair. and danmit i sound stupid telling someone how to write. anyway, i fukking digress. --jake, give it another try. i'll read with a partially open mind. good luck
Posted by steve:
A good column is one that's coming from a well-thought out, original point of view, where the author's not afraid to take flak for it and defend or adjust his position, rather than take everything personally and accuse their detractors of being gay or other irrelevant crap. In short, the exact opposite of what we've seen here. You're going to have to write some damn good articles in the future to make up for this one.
Posted by Jake:
Thanks for the suggestions
Posted by Scott Slapp:
Jake, if you think Butch's ballbusting is bad you should see what all those hairboppers (a.k.a. overweight spandex wearing Crue rejects) said to me after my first slapp. If you bash anyone you gotta be prepared to take it right back. Or if you give any opinion someone is gonna come up with some unkind words to disagree with you. Goes with the territory. I'm with Butch, it's easy to go after the obvious targets. I know I get lazy and slapp the easily slappable maybe you should dig deep and find someone that just rubs you the wrong way for valid reasons besides being easily hatable plastic poptarts or nu metal dorks like Durst. Or maybe change it up sometimes. I can't stand Cinderella but you did do a cool positive article on the singer a few months back. If you want people to keep coming back, do the unexpected. Hell I slapped myself. Didn't hurt and that was probably my most read article here. PS someone tell Vince Neal to lay off the Botox. The guy is just strange looking now.
Posted by BUTCH:
shyt, i dont know, jake! man thats your problem...if yer gonna write a column, write one you want to write. not one you think we all want to read. anybody can call britney spears a fake, kunt waste of space. easy. its too obvious.--trying tell us what you think we want to hear is like jerking off in your own mouth, freakish and sad.--spill your guts and let the chips fall where they may...here we are now, entertain us.
Posted by Question from Jake to Butch- nothing violent or insulting:
Butch, Steven, et al who have issues with my Britney column...
I take the back and forth on this message seriously for every column as it provides something of a pulse on the wrist of rock fans who want to hear real music, in lue of Britney or Motley, or anything else they deem than as unworthy of modern day fan following, etc.
So, here is my question (and I am asking this totally objectively and non-defensively), because I love this column, and enjoy the feedback- in agreement or not- just not when its personal as Butch made it this time. But that aside, and in the past, what I am looking for in moving forward is the following:
Since this is called "The Smackdown", who- perhaps by popular poll- would you all like me to take a look at trashing or perhaps giving a listen to in some positive light I have not in the past. I've tackled Fred Dickhead Durst, Lenny Kravitz, Britney, for some, and also tried to provide some light upon a genre I think is historically underappreciated- but what would you all like to see? Who would you like to NOT hear about, perhaps for starters?
I want to use this opportunity of getting personally involved in the comments below my article, which I suppose was a mistake of sorts- to move on with something more positive... Not that everyone will agree with necessarily, because that would be no fun- but that maybe at least won't get the 'who cares' treatment from Butch et all...
Any recommendations may be posted here... Thanks, Jake
Posted by relax:
I too was held prisoner in the eight year long boyband/Britney Spears plague of pop. All of Britney's original fans are now dropping acid and getting stds. What on earth was Mickey Mouse thinking when they signed her on?!
Posted by BUTCH:
..oh well, whatever, nerver mind..
Posted by Retired:
Butch, take it in the ars, as you would say.I am out. Jake
Posted by Mediator:
Can't we all just...get along?
Posted by BUTCH:
now, that was an example of an utter meltdown. quick, someone get ms. brown 15 cc's of thorozine.-- but i will agree with one thing that wanker said--i am the king of the freakshow. thanks, jake, i'm touched. now go die. love, BUTCH
Posted by aG:
He doesn't have the power to block anyone. Butch is just busting balls in Butch fashion the rest of us know the score so it's no big deal. I gotta agree with him though on the whole calling for Britney to retire while at saying at the same time the Crue has any business being on stage is pretty damn funny.
Posted by LithiumBliss:
Jake, if you block BUTCH you are a tool. Write ONE stinking article that's good before you throw stones.
Posted by Lith:
BUTCH freaking rules! He slays all you assclowns and he slays you every damn time. Hail BUTCH!
Posted by steve:
This is the funniest sh*t I've read in awhile. Butch, with the ability to make someone go completely nuts like that, it should be you writing these columns. *Five* (count 'em!) seperate posts, each one less coherent than the last, running the gamut of this Jake guy's fixations: Gay sex, bestiality and Motley Crue. Makes for a good combination, don't you think?
Posted by FUKK YOU BUTCH:
Hey Butch, Jake again. Since you don't know a thing about my books, why don't you go fukk yourself. You're a true clown, the king of the freakshow! I will do a book about you years from now after the cops nail you for being a serial HEN rapist. No one probably cares that you fornicate with farm animals, but don't bust your useless wad on this board any more, k... Don't go away mad Butch, JUST GO AWAY! I'm going to block your posts from now on for all future columns, because frankly you have nothing remotely constructive to add to this debate... not to mention the world at large. Why don't you do us all a favor and FUKK OFF, you KKK loser!
Posted by And on the subject of Britney:
Someone needed to point it out Butch, because she won't just go away. Its apparently not that obvious to the rest of the world if she's still got a reality show, is it? And the more negative press to combat her tabloid pollution, the better. You're a true disappointment dude, but I am sure you've been hearing that for years, but probably not half as much as you do in your own head... punk.
Posted by Oh Butch, one more for ya!:
BW&BK reports: It's the tour everyone's talking about and it'll be coming to a TV channel and a DVD player near you. MOTLEY CRUE's outrageously successful Red, White & Crue Tour 2005, which has sold out arenas across the country since its launch in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, on February 17, will be captured for posterity to be distributed on TV as well as DVD this fall.
Featuring the reunited band's original line-up of Vince Neil, Nikki Sixx, Mick Mars and Tommy Lee for the first time on a concert for DVD, playing their biggest hits, the show will be filmed when the band goes to Grand Rapids, MI, on April 27, for a show at the Van Andel Arena. Clear Channel Entertainment, who are promoting the concert, will produce and distribute the TV show and the DVD on their home video label, Clear Channel Entertainment Home Video, from Clear Channel Entertainment TV.
Posted by Top 5 Most Pathetic Things about Butch:
1.) He can't let it go (its my column, so I should be defending it, but come on dude, GET A LIFE!)
2.) That Butch would defend Britney Spears
3.) That Butch would insult Motley Crue but defend Britney Spears...
4.) That Butch would continue to live in denial of the fact that Motley is BACK, larger than life, and there is ZERO ways for you to refute that
5.) That Butch eases up in Steve's piece on this board every time I write a new article, and that act like the F#G-TAG team... keep it in the closet boys.
So, to conclude Butch, anytime you wanna meet up and settle this man to man (not the way you do with Steve in the cornhole) you just let me know you clown!
Why don't you go advertise your BJ skills on some Men's Room Truckstop wall!
Posted by Hey Butch- check this out re Motley- clown!:
Entertainment Weekly called the Crue tour the "'Feelgood' reunion of the year." MTV.com raved: "Big, loud and dirty ... Motley -- and their fans -- wouldn't have it any other way." The Toronto Star said the reunited Crue show was "the very embodiment of cool." The Philadelphia Inquirer simply gave it "fourdevil horns," while Associated Press proclaimed: "They snatched the crown back ... and wore it proudly for two-and-a-half hours of power chords, profanity and wardrobe malfunctions." The Toronto Globe and Mail opined: "They came, they saw and they conquered."
Posted by BUTCH:
why dont you just stop writing, jake.----don't come here with your snotty nose in the air and name drop "simon shoeturd", "doublegay" and collectivly selling 40,000 books. why don't you say what those books are about (50 cent, r. kelly, izzy stradlin etc.--unauthorized biographies about marginal, unimportant music whores. your motivation (i presume): cashing in on another hookers corner. got me?--oh, please! i'd have more respect for you if you wrote romance novels.) you ain't hemingway. you aint lester bangs. you're not even david fricke! why don't you stick those 9 books up yer arse, sideways!--go peddle your shyt somewhere else, please! --- you know, what? i really don't care. aint that funny? it was saying i didn't care that started this crap in the first place.
Posted by Jake to Steve:
Fair enough dude, see- what you just did was constructively criticize, rather than useless babble like Butch. I will give you the very very slight benefit of the doubt that you and Butch aren't one in the same, because you aren't sounding like an absolute moron (oops, I did it again!) Pretty clever little Britney diss! I actually managed to insult Butch and Britney in the same time, cool! Anyway, Crue rules, Britney don't neither does Butch. He has proved that outside the context of this article, and in the course of many and any other he has ever commented on. He's an antagonist, pure and simple. I will never be convinced otherwise, for what my opinion is worth. If it isn't to you, then SIMPLY DON'T REPLY. Don't read the column period. Just ease up out of here and back inside Butch's corn-hole. Cheers.
Posted by steve:
Thanks for your response, Jake. I will give you a very very slight benefit of the doubt that you didn't write those comments, although each one seems to correlate to one point you made in your rant, "Can't Butch Go Away?" seems to take an awful deep interest (and fawning praise) over something he didn't write, but whatever. Firstly, I didn't attack you personally, and I didn't think Butch was right in doing so; I attacked your article, which deserved it richly. I couldn't care less who you are or what your credentials are, I just think your article was extremely poorly written and tried to make a point that was calculated to be as inoffensive as possible - I mean, what did you expect, someone to jump to the defense of Britney Spears' artistic integrity? You tell Butch and I that we shouldn't make personal attacks and that you "don't attack [us]," then you call Butch, and I quote: a "sissy," "useless, loser," an "ameteur,"[sic] with a "pathetic life," followed by the ever-original "too-much-time-on-your-hands" insult. How "professional, not personal" is that? My hypocrisy sense is tingling, Spidy. Then you throw in, as you always do, a defense of a group (Motley Crue) whose music is absolutely the same as Britney's: vapid, throwaway garbage that should have been forgotten ages ago. Please, give it a rest!
Posted by To A.D.D., Butch, and Steve from the author:
A.D.D., Steve and Butch-
This is Jake, for the first time. Contrary to Butch's desperate accusation that I post to my own article's 'Agree or Disagree' section, its not only false but also ameteur, which would put me on the level of Butch. This morning is the first time I have looked at these posted, referred by a friend of mine's email, to all the attacks upon me by Butch et all. Unlike Butch, I actually have something better to do than come back repeatedly and attempt to take swipe after swipe at something that should have been a dead-in-the-water issue the first post out. The article is designed to provoke reactions, so I suppose in that respect I did my job. For those of you who posted below in defense of me (and attack of Butch therein), thank you for your support of me, and not of my detractors or Britney. As for A.D.D., who I also assume is Butch in disguise trying to look like he has more supporters, I have 9 published books to my resume dude that 40,000 people have bought collectively, including publishers like Double Day and Simon Schuester, so my resume can speak for itself. You can disagree with my article choice here, but please try to keep it professional, not personal. I don't attack you, although after your display below, I'd be happy to do a 'Smackdown' formally on you for next month, I just need a few more bio details about your pathetic life. I can make it a commentary on the useless, loser demographic of American music listeners who have nothing better to do than attack those who are trying to do something productive with their lives professionally in benefit of groups who do deserve acknowledgement for still hanging around, like MOTLEY CRUE, who you are in just STRAIGHT-UP DENIAL over dude, that one I will call you out directly on. You are a sissy, so if you'd just leave, I would appreciate it personally, as I imagine would alot of other readers of this column. You are not welcome as far as I am concerned- NOT because you disagree with my position in a courteous and professional manner, but because you have to sink as desperately low as you do month after month on a personal level to try and add meat to the bare bones, weak-@ss, empty, soulless commentary you try to throw at me for my views. I hope you find something more productive to do with your life, I truly do. For those of you who do come here and read and reply to my columns on a regular basis, regardless of whether you agree or disagree, thank you.
Posted by A.D.D.:
For an author, Jake Brown rants like a god damn 14 year old.
Posted by Steve:
Hey, this is Steve, oops I mean Butch, oops I mean Steve, because WE'RE THE SAME PERSON!!!
Posted by BUTCH:
i think you might be right, steve. both about this column and the multi-poster really being the same guy...read any good books about 50 cent lately? how bout R. "im gonna pee on you" Kelly,---at least i'm not the only one.
Posted by BUTCH :
thanks for the compliments you fukkers (hows that for positive?)--i don't see how complaining about britney spears pertains to actually caring about music or pop culture. she stinks. everybody knows this. repeated reinforcement of this fact is mental masterbation and a waste of my time and your time. really? who cares? you call it "negative" and "useless" i call it the fukking truth ---oh, and for the record, these smackdowns are boring, uncreative, uninsightful and written by a rejected music industry whore! versailles records puts out tributes to bon jovi and crap like that. you know, music the world really needs (that's an example of sarcasm for all you dimwitted fukkos reading this damn post) antimusic needs more writers like dolly. witty and worth reading. this jake brown cat is a yawn. no hard feelings, tho.--you can go back to bashing me or you can all groan about britney spears. either way you're wasting the energy it takes to touch the keypad. c-ya
Posted by steve:
I see this article also marks the return of that guy who posts a bunch of comments under different names (look at the writing style, it's painfully obvious) and pretends they're by different people. I'm looking in your direction, Jake Brown.
Posted by steve:
Is anything this guy writes supposed to be original or interesting in the least? You're writing an article on how much Britney Spears sucks on a hard-rock oriented website? No sh*t, hey? Does the expression "preaching to the choir" mean anything to you? It's kind of funny, too, to see you get all riled up over a talentless, has-been pop star. I echo Butch's "who cares?" comment. And surely a man who writes books for a living knows that ALL CAPS and multiple exclamation points are a) grammatically incorrect and b) annoying as hell to the reader. Someone find out who this guy's eighth grade English teacher was and fire her.
Posted by Tom Arnold:
We want to hire Britney to be our intern on my ESPN show! She can blow all the commentators before our broadcasts commence, and then bang the guests before their interviews!
Posted by ANTI-BUTCH :
I once knew this clown named butch
his brain was made of mush
he liked it when the jimmy pushed
up in his nasty, rancid tush
stretched out like Britney's snatch
butch, find another itch to scratch
cause no one cares what you have to say
and frankly, your opinion like you is G-Y!
Posted by Mike:
I would LOVE to gizz all over Britney's zitty face and then turn around and fart in her nappy face! She's nasty, and I am glad she's getting a reality show so America can see her nasty face without any make-up on, and be grossed out like I already am! Thanks for saying it right Jake
Posted by Ashley:
Britney Spears has a smokin' body! BUT- facially she reminds me of the kind of cheerleader chick from my home town back in Texas that blows four football players in the locker room before the game and actually swallows all the malt! I hope Colin Farrell gave her the treatment, I understand he's quite well endowed!
Posted by Stormy:
Britney is a good dancer, that's about it. I think its cool she is having a kid, but I agree she needs to know when to leave, and leave gracefully. Its too bad we have to see this stupid reality slide show from hell on the way out... When she gives birth and Rosemary's Baby comes out, she will finally recieve the public rejection she deserves...
Posted by Mary Ann:
Butch... I must say, you are a true clown! Why don't you lick the sweat off Satan's sack you parasite!
Posted by Rick:
WHO IS THIS BUTCH CLOWN? Why can't Butch ride on into the sunset with Britney? They sound like they deserve one another...
Posted by Samantha:
I liked Britney when I was 13, but since I'm 18 now, I would have hoped the world- as I did- would have outgrown her too! GO AWAY!!! Your movie was awful, you have no charisma in your personality, and you are NOT a role model for America's teenage girls! You serve NO PURPOSE Britney, please leave!
Posted by Britney's nappy snatch:
HELP! I stink just like Britney, and now I am smelling up the nightly UPN viewing audiences with my cottage-cheese ass cheeks, air-brushed, acne-punctured, vocally-repulsive, Satan's spawn. Satan in this case is KEVIN, and I hear he's shopping a reality show of his own- what's it called? How to have kids with rich chicks that I can't afford to support if I got dumped! What a pair of clowns! They deserve each other, what we don't deserve is to have to watch their freak show every week on national tv!
Posted by Rodger:
Hey Butch, it needed to be said dude, as much and in as many forums as possible, just like it needed to about FRED DURST, LENNY KRAVITZ, etc and now BRITNEY... Are you a fan of Britney and Fred Durst? I would bet so... What is your purpose on this board, and for that matter, earth dude? Find something more constructive to do with your time than pollute this pure debate over pop culture clowns with your uselessness!
Posted by Can't Butch just go away?:
You know what Butch, you are officially the Antagonist of this column! I check this board periodically to see what people have to say, which is part of the fun to see if Jake struck the chord he hoped to or not, and whether people agree or disagree with his position, everyone but you has something relevant to say in their comments. Then there is your comments. What positive commentary have you ever honestly had to offer to any of these columns? Some reader's posts are positive, some are critical, but NONE are ever as uselessly and aimlessly negative as yours... We appreciate your reading the column, but its frankly aggrivating to have you graffiti dirtying up an otherwise healthy debate on the relevance of the various subjects of these Smackdowns... If you don't care about "this crap", then don't read them dude, but more importantly, don't ask that question here, because obviously anyone who has posted something of substance got something from the article one way or the other. So Butch, in the words of a bad ass band you just can't seem to get over being back in FULL FORCE dude, "Butch, don't go away mad, just GO AWAY!" You're a woman!
Posted by BUTCH :
really? who gives a damn about this crap?
Posted by Dark Angel:
'When I was a prisoner in the hell of her (Britney's)career highlight, strapped into the pop torture chair at the local barber shop like some kind of underground interrogation center.' Good choice of words, Jake. I can totally relate to that torture chamber. Britney Spears-one of many interrogation methods used by US forces at Guantanamo and Iraq.
Posted by The Original Jackass:
Getting pregnent by this nobody and refusing to sign a pre-nup screwed her career. I LOVE it hehehe
Posted by LithiumBliss:
You are just jealous of this Kevin dude. You wish you were with the untalented skank.
