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antiMUSIC is reluctant to present "Slapped!" with Scott Slapp. He's been bugging us to do this for a while. So we figured what the hell, let's give him a shot at it. If he isn't assassinated by an irate fan, Scott will check in with us every other Friday to tell us who needs to be "Slapped". 
 

As always the views expressed by the writer do not neccessarily reflect the views of antiMUSIC or the iconoclast entertainment group
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Get Your Own Hits

This week I have to get something off my chest.  I could have selected another topic to piss off bisexual pedophiles and ranted on and on but I've seen another resent trend that has really gotten under my skin. 

What is up with this trend of bands throwing new cover tunes on their greatest hits cds?  We are seeing this more and more lately with "best of" cds from The Offspring, Marilyn Manson, Korn� just to name a few. This new bright idea of marketing genius deserves a slapp. 

If you don't have enough hits of your own, then you shouldn't be putting out a greatest hits CD. That goes double for artists that count covers as their biggest hits. Do we really need a Limp Bizkit greatest hits CD? Should "Nookie" be held up as a shining example of songwriting? The lack of self-made hits may be one reason that this trend has popped up. 

Another is the selling point argument. They have to put something extra on there to attract their core fanbase who already own the songs from the CD catalog. I like the old trend of putting on a couple rarities, b-sides or even new songs. Those make the CD more attractive but to put out a greatest hits CD and put other people's hits on it as a selling point just rubs me the wrong way.  In most cases, good songs from the band's past releases are ignored in favor of these cover tunes. 

I think this trend really demonstrates the decline of music standards over the past few years. Think about it. Are they using someone else's hit to "cover-up" their lack of songwriting ability? This isn't just seen on greatest hits CDs. Some questionable artists have actually used other people's hits on their debut albums as singles to break out. Alien Ant Farm and Limp Bizkit are prime examples.  Could Fred Durst have made it without using "Faith" to get peoples attention?  Would we even know the name Alien Ant Farm if they hadn't covered "Smooth Criminal"? 

Most covers are awful. Some artists actually pull it off but that is no excuse for them to use other people's hits in place of writing their own. I know a lot of artists do this as a tribute to the artists they love. That's great and all but others simply use it as a marketing ploy.  And call me crazy but I'd much rather have a new original song from Maynard than a cover of "Imagine". 

Another thing is the greatest hits idea is a throwback to the singles era. Some people used to buy the singles of hits songs they liked and bypass the albums. After a few years and an artist had a string of singles, they put them together as a greatest hits album to sell to that same market. But now single sales are not a big focus in the industry. iTunes and company may change that down the line and resurrect the single as a key part of the business but we are at a point where albums sales are king. In that context, greatest hits make less business sense and are often misused.  Some artists actually use greatest hits to shortchange their fans and help meet their contractual obligations to their record company. 

Our boss here at antiMusic was a big KISS fan for years. But he has been disgusted with the way the band has milked their fanbase for every last cent for the past few years. One of his jokes is KISS are planning another greatest hits CD and it will be called "Same Songs / Different Cover".  They are a really good example of a band that uses the greatest hits and covers format to get out of recording new material. Anyone remember that awful "official" KISS covers CD "KISS My Ass?" and let's not get into the half a dozen "hits" CDs from the past decade.  I also hear they are planning to release "Alive XXIV" next year. 

And don't get me started on artists that are using greatest hits CD to milk that last little bit of money out of your fans before you drop off the map entirely. If you want to remain relevant, write some new music that will keep people interested. Don't rip off your fans and make them repurchase your old songs just to get some half-assed covers. 

In the end it's no wonder that rock music is stagnant right now. So many bands are not moving music forward but instead relying on other people's past hits.  If you can't create your own hits, then you have no business taking a spot on a record company roster away from artists that can. There is just something wrong with that and artists that do this need to be slapped.