antiMUSIC is reluctant to present Slapped!
with Scott Slapp. Hes been bugging us to do this for a while. So we figured
what the hell, lets give him a shot at it. If he isnt assassinated by
an irate fan, Scott will check in with us every other Friday to tell us
who needs to be Slapped.
Last time Scott slapped Janet Jackson for
trying to blame W for the backlash against her wardrobe malfunction. This
time around, he slapps Hollywood for following the example of the music
industry.
As always the views expressed
by the writer do not neccessarily reflect the views of antiMUSIC or the
iconoclast entertainment group .
Hollywood Rehash
Some people suggested that I slap myself
this go around, but I'll leave that to them in the Fan Speak. This
week I have to get something off my chest. Something that has been bothering
me for a while and I just can't hold it in any longer: Hollywood is becoming
like the modern music business.
I'm not just talking about them shoveling
entertainment for the lowest common denominator down our throats. The music
business has been doing that for years and Hollywood has been plying us
with mindless blockbusters and popcorn movies since they discovered that
sitcom audiences also go to the movies. My bitch is that Hollywood
is following the music industry's policy of OVER filling the market with
rehashed material.
I used to go to the movies almost every
weekend. There was always something cool coming out. It may have been a
cool indie movie or a big studio film. But I spent my money and most of
the time I walked away having been entertained. Then about the same
time that tickets jumped to $10 a pop, Hollywood appeared to stop trying
to come up with new and interesting stories. Instead the started
mining "Nick at Night" for ideas and came up with the brilliant idea to
produce bad remakes of bad 70s TV shows.
"Pulp Fiction", "Donnie Darko" and "Fight
Club" were replaced with "Charlie's Angels", "Starsky and Hutch" and "Scooby-Doo".
The originals sucked so what gave Hollywood the idea that big budget movie
adaptations would be any better? And you know what is worst? The films
aren't better, they are worst!
Has Hollywood ran out of ideas? Or are
they just lazy? Even Spielberg can't come up with a decent movie
these days. What is alarming is this trend seems to be picking up
speed. There is no shortage of bad 70s show slated for big screen remakes.
Do we really need to revisit "Hawaii 5-0"? What's next? "Good Times",
"Welcome Back Kotter", and "The Jeffersons"? Or will they try
and screw up "All in the Family"?
Wait! They have another stupid trick of
late, adapting video games to the big screen. And should I mention
bad sequels? Could we have lived without a "prequel" to "The Exorcist"?
And why make a sequel to a really bad movie--"Anaconda" is a good recent
example of this.
I know that Hollywood adapting TV shows
is a common practice but over the past few years it seems to be more and
more common. They take things to an even worst level with all of the film
remakes. "Manchurian Candidate", couldn't even compare to the original.
Did you hear they are actually remaking "King Kong" again! If some
Hollywood bozo gets the bright idea to remake "Citizen Kane", I'm gonna
go postal!
The problem isn't so much that Hollywood
puts this crap out. The baby boomers obviously love their nostalgia but
what pisses me off is that we get these bad TV rehashes instead of real
movies. Every weekend we get the latest action blockbuster or big budget
Hollywood remake or sequel. But very few really good movies are being released
in the process. This makes otherwise "just okay" films seem better.
"The Village" was okay, but hardly worthy of the hype it received.
Maybe it's because we live in troubled
times and people want to go to the movies and escape. The last thing they
want to do is think. But I'd rather wrap my mind around "12 Monkeys" than
"First Daughter". Didn't Mandy Moore make this movie last year? I hear
Hilary Duff is reading the script right now for next year's version.
I know I really went off on a rant this
time but this has really bothered me for a long time. I love movies almost
as much as I love music and it's sad to see the direction Hollywood is
heading in. It used to be that I'd flip to the movie reviews in Rolling
Maxim (is there really different these days?) to see what was coming out
and get excited. Now I only get as pissed off as I do when reading the
CD reviews.
We need to get back to the day where it
was all about the quality, not the quantity of tickets sold. What's worst
is if they actually spent the marking money on the few quality releases,
they would fill the seats and not have to wait for us to "run across" them
on DVD or HBO. Just think about how "Fight Club" was marketed; a
great movie, but the marketing made it look as about as intelligent as
a Steven Seagal movie.
So it's not only the music biz that's going
down hill and filling the market place with crap, Hollywood is doing their
part too. The entire entertainment corporate complex needs to be
slapped. And last but not least, ENOUGH WITH THE REALITY TV!
Scott Slapp is a professional
a**hole and rock critic, as well as antiMUSIC contributor. His biggest
aspiration in life is to become Eddie Vedder.
Your
turn.
Fan
Speak:
Posted by Mr. huh?:
There's nothing wrong with having a comic book movie so long as A) It's a comic book that has built up a loyal base and critical acclaim and survived over the years and B) They get some director or writer who is a devotee of the comic themself and not just some dork who thought that it might be cool to do a comic book movie and that it might rake in some dough that way
Posted by cool guy:
What I really like is when a movie comes out in the first four or five months of the year and the adds say something like best comedy of the year. How can they say that when there is more than half of the year left! You would think that they could see the future. Its the only way they can say with all honesty that this movie is better than every other movie that hasnt been made this year. Total crap. Dont listen to the T.V. when it comes to films make your own decision.
Posted by Buffalo Soldier:
It's just a marketing ploy, BlackZepplin. They
always use such phrases such as: "a moving, sweeping epic", or "the best movie since 'Gone With The Wind'". Or they'll use phrases like
"eye-popping special effects, amazing stunts, best sci-fi action flick since 'The Matrix'". It's always been that way. Then you go see the movie that's been so hyped about, and it turns out to be a load of horsesh*t. Okay, that's not the case with all movies, in fact the movie marketers' claims have been right a few times, depending on your point of view. One movie that I thought was real bad, yet was rather hyped up about was "The Village". I swear, I started to fall asleep about halfway through. Boring, oh so boring. The
2004 version of "The Punisher" also didn't quite meet my expectations, it was almost an R-rated "Spider-Man" type of movie. "The Bourne Supremacy" was pretty good but I could do without the weird in-and-out focus and other tricks with the camera. It almost made me throw up, for Christ's sake. Oh well, to each his/her own, I guess. Here's an idea: Have Mel Gibson and James Cameron get together and direct the next "sweeping, moving, lush, spectacular, epic,
blockbuster" movie of the decade. They should name the movie "The Passion of the Titanic".
Posted by BlackZeppelin:
Napoleon Dynamite was pretty funny considering how much they can do in a PG rated movie. I dont like the #1 movie thing either. It doesn't really say much if you think about it. What is is measuring really?
Posted by The man they call I am:
The funniest thing is the "number one movie in america" do you know how to make a number one movie in america? its quite easy. you make a big budget, big names, over the top cgi. hype the movie for about 2 months. if it was three months it people would be so sick of it by the time it came out they would not want to see it, so two months is enough time. when movie opens, people will flood to go see it. viola, you have a number one movie. by next week, people would have told there friends how sh!t the movie actually is, and people wont see it. but by then, another brainless over the top movie has come out, and people would flood to see that opening weekend, and the trend continues.
hollywood has no idea what the public like. they release movies and think, this is what they want, some lame love story, some plotless action movie, some devoid emotional drama and so on. they ARE rehashing the same rubbish. my advice, if you want to see something new and different, go see some foreign films. movies from overseas (and no, british romantic comedys dont count unless you are talking about shaun of the dead) do things for their own cultures which will make them seem fresh and new to us.
you can also watch independant films, but they run the risk of being totally pretensious. for instance, and i know people are going to hate me for this, garden state. there are however, good indy movies, like napolean dynamite which is still running four months after initial release, and has done so good merely by word of mouth, something big hollywood movies could not do even if they wanted to.
Posted by Dirty Harry:
I know what you're thinking: "Did he fire five shot or six?" But being this is a .44 Magnum, the world's most powerful handgun, you gotta ask yourself: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
Posted by 5Against1:
Films based on comic books should be stopped at once, so should those based on tv shows. Men in drag is another tired theme that should be avoided, Milton Berle and Jack Lemmon were plenty, we didn't need Dustin Hoffman, Martin Lawrence, and the other 200 actors who tried it, it's just not funny. Juxtaposition is another worn out idea, "Hey, lets put somone's mind in another person's body, that would be cool"...except that it's been done a million times already. Sequels are unavoidable and, with the exception of Godfather II and a couple of others, usually awful. Even if they don't do a sequel someone will steal the original idea, how many Animal House ripoffs were there within two years of the original? Caddyshack II? Total disaster. If they ever come out with Raising Arizona II or a prequel to Full Metal Jacket, I'll drive my car through the front of the cineplex. I can see it now, Dirty Harry: Episode One...follow Harry Callahan as he learns the ropes as a rookie traffic cop...
Posted by Escombo:
I agree with GreenMuse... I miss the days when bad movies were good.
Posted by BlackZeppelin:
The recent trend is responsible for my lack of interest in newer movies. So far the only movie I am looking forward to is the Third Part of the new Star Wars Trilogy. In any case, I hate when movies get re-released on DVD too.
Posted by GREENMUSE:
i didnt see fight club until a few months ago.i certainly wasnt expecting the relationship between norton and pitt to be what it was.
Posted by Edge:
I agree with you. Another thing that really annoys me is the 'singer-turned-actor' trend: those people can΄t act to save their lives but they still get the part because their "star-power" keeps making bucks for the big studios.I guess the only way to sabotage all of this bull**** is to skip the crappy movies, despite the huge marketing machine behind them. BY the way, "Minority Report" was a great movie by Spielberg.
Posted by Schnake:
If they even CONSIDER remaking Citizen Kane, I will personally ram a barbed-wire catheter into the pee-hole of all those responsible. It's the last bastion of cinematic hope, and in short, the only perfect motion picture ever made. I disagree that there are no good movies anymore, but I heartily agree that they are becoming harder and harder to exhume from underneath all the offal. I guess you and I are just infuriated that we can't be lazy and just show up to the theater hoping to be pleasantly surprised anymore. You have to do some serious research before even considering going to the movies, and that blows rhinos.
Posted by Jay:
Toche'. Fight Club is my favourite movie of all time but I didn't even see it till about 2 years after he hit video just because all the commercials made it look so stupid.
Posted by The Bean:
Nice article. It's a sh*tty trend that only reflects the disrespectful consumerisum thats devouring other ares of society. Globalisation, Brand warfare, Litigation - Hollywood is not immune to all of this, indeed some would say this most glitzy of consumer sectors is at the forefront of the downward spiral - the one that sees the great dollar rise to importance above all else, including respect and history. Cr*p world, ay? By the way, anyone who hasn't heard the new U2 single should download it right now! Really good stuff, a return to the days of old with a poppy twist that'll gurantee airplay. Lame guitar solo though. Oh well. Its called vertigo - download it!
Posted by DeadSun:
You are beyond correct, Scott. The idea is : "guarantee a healthy bottom line, by recycling time-tested music and film". The TREND--- I believe--- involves repainting and repackaging the trends of days gone by. I'm not sure, but I think the broader cause is that we ( not necessarily meaning you and I ), at some point, and for whatever reason, have become a nostalgic society. The ad naseum regurgitation of past films is more like a symptom of this.
Posted by GREENMUSE:
this is such a lame trend.especially when they remake good films.was there really any reason to remake the italian job,possibly one of the greatest car chase films ever?how do the people who remade the texas chainsaw massacre sleep at night?these people have no respect for good films.for comic movies "from hell was good"though purists will call it a graphic novel,its a long comic book,deal with it.i wouldnt mind if these films were bad in a funny way like old coleman francis or roger corman films,but the new crop of film is just bad bad
Posted by dreibel:
thank goodness that the King Kong remake is to be helmed by Peter Jackson, who has a genuine love for the original, and not a hack shillmeister like Dino De Horrendous....
Posted by Aquabored:
What I'm really tired of is all the comic book movies. I'm sorry, but fatuous dialogue assembled from callout balloons over the heads of mutants and men in tights just doesn't make for good films. And there's no end in sight. Enough already.
Posted by Anuj:
I couldn't agree more. I'm happy as hell that movies like 'King Arthur', 'The Alamo', '.... 80 Days' etc. failed. The one good movie that I did see this year was 'Garden State'. Really, most of the hype for that movie is worth it ( though I agree some is not). Other than that... hmmm. And has anyone noticed how even reviewers are going soft on movies? Roger Ebert, a man I REALLY REALLY respect, gave Garfield a 3-out-of-4. Huh?
