antiMUSIC is reluctant to present Slapped!
with Scott Slapp. Hes been bugging us to do this for a while. So we figured
what the hell, lets give him a shot at it. If he isnt assassinated by
an irate fan, Scott will check in with us every day to tell us who needs
to be Slapped.
As always the views expressed
by the writer do not neccessarily reflect the views of antiMUSIC or the
iconoclast entertainment group .
Slapp of the Day: Metallica
First off, mad props and a shout out to
the Emo dorks that sent their love after yesterday's Slapp. Your
Ryan Seacrest Fan Club membership has been approved. There, you have
a little mini slapp for today and that's all you're gonna get because I
actually have something nice to say about someone!
I just got done watching what has to be
the best music documentary ever made, Metallica's "Some Kind of Monster".
I walked away with a new appreciation and understand of the band. It's
real easy to pick on Metallica. We can talk about the whole Napster thing.
(But if someone was ripping me off I'd get pissed too.) The disconnect
between them and their fanbase (we can't expect millionaires to empathize
with working stiffs). Or that they along with Motley Crue rank right up
there as the biggest sellouts in metal history (I do give Motley credit
for admitting it). But after watching this movie some of my strongest
negative feelings are gone. Some on my lingering questions about the band
are no longer there.
I really respect Metallica for laying
it all out on the line like this. Few bands would have the balls to document
themselves in this way. For those that have not seen this movie, go to
Blockbuster and rent it today. You don't even have to be a Metallica fan
to get something out it. For me it answered a lot of nagging questions.
I now know what went wrong with the drums on "St Anger" as Lars' toddler
son can be seen drumming. I now know the evils that massive success can
bring to a band. It cuts them off from the people that they were at the
beginning. I could never imagine a metal band with a "mission statement"
or undergoing therapy sessions. Could you picture Lemmy talking to a shrink?
(beating one up maybe) But this goes a long way to explaining how Metallica
got away from the metal band they used to be and that it is unrealistic
for us as fans to even expect them to try to be who they were. It's not
gonna happen and if they tried they would just be posers. It's kind of
sad to see that this isn't the group of madmen in their 20s living hand
to mouth that started this band, but they succeeded, grew up and the music
is no longer the most important thing in the world to them. They achieved
their goal. (Jason walked out because his heart is still in the music).
But it's good to know that they have found something else in life to drive
them; Lars with his family and art, Kirk with surfing and vibrating toys,
James with sobriety, Jason for cutting out and staying true to himself
when he saw that the monster had died. Let's not forget the biggest member
of the band that made them what they are todayBob Rock. He received the
biggest gift of all; he hears beauty where others don't. His keen ear finds
drums where we hear banging of trashcans. He visualizes power where most
feel James has lost his roar. So to Metallica, no slapp for you. I just
want to say thanks for your courage in giving us a look into your world,
your honesty and letting us understand how you became the band you are
today.
Scott Slapp is a professional
a**hole and rock critic, as well as antiMUSIC contributor. His biggest
aspiration in life is to become Eddie Vedder.
Your
turn.
Fan
Speak:
Posted by Unforsaken:
St. Anger was pure crap. I don't expect anybody to rewrite a past album, but at least make an album worth listening too. It's not even original. Motley Crue had a song on Generation Swine called Let Us Prey which had the exact same riffage as St. Anger, but the drums actually sounded alright. That was almost 10 years ago, so this can't even be considered a move to something new.
If it's true and their hearts are in the music anymore, and that's why Jason left because his heart still was...then i say they should quit writing and recording and stealing people's money. If their heart isn't in the music, they should release all of their future albums for free, because the fans shouldn't have to pay for something that isn't from the heart and important to the band writing it.
Posted by slap:
St.Anger was s**t. it was forced. theres no doubt metallica is a very talented band, but i think they are one dimensional. lets see a new direction that SOUNDS good. i dont know but i recken metallica are dead
Posted by Pinnochio:
Oh, yeah, and this was AFTER 1/25/05, the date that SKOM was released on DVD.
Posted by Pinnochio:
I went to 2 Blockbuster stores to see if Some Kind Of Monster was available for rent. I wanted to watch it just for pure entertainment value, to see the once-great heavy metal band now involved in reality show high school drama, to see James and Lars bitch and moan at each other while I laugh all the way to the bank. It was not available for rent at either store, so I figured that Metallica Corporation didn't want SKOM for rent, just for purchase, so they can milk the cash cow on all four tits. Bastards.
Posted by Subhuman:
I think Metlallica sucks.
Time to pack it in ya boring gits.
Or be the opposite of KISS and put-on some goofy make-up and actually put-on a show.
Posted by Dave Mustaine:
Your mind tells me that you've lost your confidence. You're drifting and ya don't believe in anyone. To lose what little you have left to be proud of, afraid you can't do this again...
Posted by E:
er, i mean STOP sucking.
Posted by E:
Well, St. Anger REALLY SUCKED. Megadeth is finally clearly kicking Metallica's ASS. Maybe it will make Metallica stomp sucking.
Posted by Anuj:
Bob Rock ust produced an album for A Simple Plan. That right there says it all.
Posted by adam:
if metallica gets any worse i say we start a petition to get them to stop making music period.
Posted by Wes Rains:
I think Slapp didn't slap anybody, he just sucked some c0ck. Metallica really has never been that great, they never been true to the music, that is they never really did anything that was truely theirs. They rode off other people's success. Besides I think the Gargae Inc. shows that they make a better cover band than anything.
Posted by Caught in a Mosh:
I realize that St Anger was a huge DEevelution, and that ReLoad was pure sh*t as well, but i think that alot of people really go to far with the bashing.
Posted by paparush:
See, I was never pissed at metallica for making st anger. I was pissed that all the corporate reviewers still kiss Metallica's ass and give it great ratings when it is obviously crap. Nobody can expect Metallica to put out another album like Master, but if they put out a sh*tty album, everybody needs to call it just that and stop apologizing or covering up for them. They are possibly the greatest metal band ever, but they've put out 2 mediocre and 1 horrible album as their last 3 real albums(not counting S&M or garage). Sure, the album was multiplatinum, but how many people bought it just because it was metallica and it got some good reviews and then were horrified when they listened to it? Also, how can you say anything positive about Bob Rock??? His first album is the Black Album and they've been on a downward spiral since then. He's been great for their pocketbooks, but horrible for their music.
Posted by Shapechanger:
Oh Slapp, you're gonna make me cry. I mean puke.
Posted by Out in the Cold:
You mean this is SINCERE and not SARCASM....I am so disappointed in you Scott, maybe you need to slapp yourself for falling prey to Lars' insidious plan to make people feel sorry for him and the band! Oh poor Metallica, they only became the biggest band in the world, played every imaginable venue, made more money than GOD and did whatever the hell they wanted to for like 15 years, and now we should feel sorry for the problems that thier success has wrought? I don't think so....People say that "Money can't buy happiness", maybe not, but I aint feeling sorry for anyone who attains such high levels of success but can't seem to find happiness in the lives they chose to lead....money or not! Also, the reason that they will never make another Master of Puppets or Kill 'em All is that they no longer have the anger, agression and alienation to use. After all, how can multi millionaires write songs that speak to those of us who don't have, and can never hope to have, the kind of lives that the guys in Metallica have. I am not a hater, but did we really need this "documentary" and was it really necessary for them to release as a feature in theaters? Just another cash-grab for Lars and the boys!Rock On!
Posted by Vaugnnie:
I'm glad people are being Slapped every day! And glad to see someone else appreciates the beauty of trash-can drums as I do.
Posted by The Metal Lord:
I think that most people who attack the St. Anger album need to relize something they are not going to make Master of Puppets two or Kill em All two and as far as Metalica selling out it's not like they went nu metal i mean if James started rapping and they gave Lars a turntable thean i would say they sold out this is just progression.
Posted by mean jean:
Thank you for reviewing this!! I SO didn't want to. I agree with the Mustaine summation of this flick: "It's some kinda BullShyte"
Posted by The Evil Mr Grog:
Well you know what they say: growing old is invetable, growing up is optional.