antiMUSIC is reluctant to present Slapped!
with Scott Slapp. Hes been bugging us to do this for a while. So we figured
what the hell, lets give him a shot at it. If he isnt assassinated by
an irate fan, Scott will check in with us every day to tell us who needs
to be Slapped.
As always the views expressed
by the writer do not neccessarily reflect the views of antiMUSIC or the
iconoclast entertainment group .
Slapp of the Day: King of Slapps
I was surfing around the web today doing
research about the latest lame band 'buzz' for my day gig and I came upon
some rather interesting sites while using the new MSN Search (I was looking
for info on Jonathan Davis). Did you know that Hitler was a lesbian?
I sure didn't. But it says it on a blog site. Know what is scarier? Did
you ever notice that Barbara Bush looks like Winston Churchill with a wig
on? That's neither here nor there, but the Hitler thing reminded me of
it. I know you are saying right now, "Thats nice Scott, now get to the
Slapping!".
To wrap of my first week of Daily Slapps,
and in honor of the 300 + people that sent in hate mail complaining about
them, this slapp's for you! I proudly slapp myself. And I do commend
some of you for originality! The ol' college intern line never gets tired.
That and the frustrated middle age guy works great too! (27 is old but
not middle aged) Although I do agree with the worst opinion writer
in history bit. If you want a dissertation in a couple paragraphs, you're
in the wrong place! Go read the real columns on this site for substance.
Some of you asked what gives me the right
to slapp others, especially the Einsteins that said I had no business doing
so because I stole the guy from Creed's name. If I'm honest, the fact that
I'm a jealous hater gives me the right. I'm a little bitter because my
favorite band is no longer on MTV (Pearl Jam by the way). Then again, are
any bands on MTV these days? But to be perfectly honest, the whole reason
behind the slapps is because I spend my days writing bad articles about
bad pop stars at my day gig and the lord of anti was kind enough to give
me an outlet to vent and make stupid jokes about them. I would get fired
for doing so at my real job. That's the long and short of it. I'm sure
you Psychology 101 students will say that I like making fun of people to
build myself up. That's probably true, thank you Dr. Jung. I can't
play an instrument, I was too bad of a singer to be shown as the worst
of American Idol this year, I dress funny and people generally don't like
me because I smell funny. But that's ok, I have enough slapps to go around
and self hatred is useless unless you can project it onto others!
I know this wasn't a proper slapp but I felt I had to slapp myself after
reading all the hate mail the boss forwarded to me. It was either that
or suicide by Pop Tarts, knowing full well that I'd wind up in hell with
24x7 Crue as my torture. Does this slapp make you anti-slappers feel any
better? Can I go back to slapping your favorite pop-culture icons
now?
I'll end by saying this to the people that
wrote the boss saying I had no business writing for antiMusic and they
were gonna stop reading the site because of me. If you don't like what
I have to say, just don't read it. There are plenty of good writers and
good content on this site for you not to bother with stupid ol' me.
I don't read my own magazine, even my own articles because they don't interest
me, so if I am so horrible just stop reading! But I fear you are
like me, you love to be angered and the same thing that inspires my slapps
is the same thing that keeps you reading my hateful, childish, poorly written
and stupid slapps. You love to hate too! Admit it, you'll feel better
about yourself.
So until next time (If I don't get fired
before them), Slapp out!
Scott Slapp is a professional
a**hole and rock critic, as well as antiMUSIC contributor. His biggest
aspiration in life is to become Eddie Vedder.
Your
turn.
Fan
Speak:
Posted by Joey Jo Jo:
Didnt know people were allowed to have an OPINION these days. keep writing bro
Posted by Scott Slapp:
Nikki you shouldn't post when you are drunk.
Posted by Slapp sucks:
you blow dude. u suck big time.
well not all ur sh*t sucks that bad some its ok i guess. screw you
Posted by the voice of reason:
Fair enough.
Posted by Scott Slapp:
I would but Dolly just did a job on him this past week and it was far better than I could ever do. But I'll give him a slapp one of these days.
Posted by the voice of reason:
Quit stallin and do the Lil Jon Slapp, slacker!
Posted by Scott Slapp:
I'm really surprised at the support. Thank you guys! Megaslapps for all of you.
Posted by Caught in a Mosh:
The columns on anti music have got to be one of the most entertaining things on the internet. keep kickin ass dude
Posted by Porcupine:
Greenmuse, you mean you've never seen MTV's ghastly 'Tribute to Metallica' special? Lars did just that. I just about shattered my ribcage laughing.
Posted by don felipe:
If you are not pissing somebody off then you are not doing your job. You do your job just fine, keep up the good work.
Posted by mister tibbs:
Dear mister slappy, never stop....remeber the old adage ..to make an omlette ya gotta break some eggs....besides whats that new "cool" word schadenfreude....think of all the good you do ....this buds for you.....\m/
Posted by Wes Rains:
Wow, I can't believe people complained about what Slapp had to say, he really never said anything too offensive or disturbing. He didn't want people to take up arms against the RIAA. If it makes you feel any better Slapp, I think the majority of people b|tch and moan way too much about the wrong things. Scott for being some guy who feeds the monster of pop culture, you do a good job of poisioning its food when its back is turned.
Posted by GREENMUSE:
haha,thats priceless.air drums.
Posted by Porcupine:
I hate about 0% of what Slapp says. He is arrogant, occasionally misinformed, mean spirited, but probably not long winded. That's what makes it fun! Since when do "rights" enter into this? Somehow people have or don't have the right to be pricks? That's about the same as saying that emo kids don't have the right to whine, or that Lars Ulrich doesn't have the right to air drum to Avril Lavigne.
Posted by GREENMUSE:
wow,300 hate mails?ive yet to be the subject of one(as far as i know,keavin may be protecting me from the harsh world)i doubt anyone will stop coming to an entire site because of one writer.
Posted by Slappy:
Man, people need to lighten up. Slapp-ing is one of the highlights on antiMUSIC. Keep on Slappin'!
Posted by Van Stuard:
I hate about 50% of what Slapp says. He is arrogant, occasionally misinformed, mean-spirited, and (worst) long winded.
I read the column every day...
Its an opinion column, people, not a news report. From one hater to another... keep it up.
Posted by The MEtal Lord:
May not agree with you all the time but your articlesw are alawys a hoot so just keep it up and if others cant take itwell forget theam.
