antiMUSIC is reluctant to present Slapped!
with Scott Slapp. Hes been bugging us to do this for a while. So we figured
what the hell, lets give him a shot at it. If he isnt assassinated by
an irate fan, Scott will check in with us every day to tell us who needs
to be Slapped.
.
Slapp of the Day: The L Word
As always the views expressed
by the writer do not neccessarily reflect the views of antiMUSIC or the
iconoclast entertainment group
I promised that I wouldn't restrict my
slapps to just music, so today I am gonna slapp a cable network.
Why not? Fox felt all alone with the last slapp action and Showtime just
earned my Academy of Slapp Science Slappworthy Achievement Award. First
they cancel one of the best Sci-Fi series on television (a show called
Odyssey 5) but just today I learned they killed the best show to ever grace
their airwaves, "Dead Like Me". A show that almost had it all; wit,
sarcasm, offensive language, cute actresses, fun storylines and it wasn't
like every other goddamn show on TV! The critics actually got it
right for once and heaped praise on the show. So what did Showtime do?
They cancelled it. Why? Because they forgot the most important element
in any successful TV show in this day and age Lesbians.
Showtime was cool enough to figure out
what most guys have known forever; lesbians are cool! It's true,
I was talking to the boss here a couple weeks ago while we were watching
TV and some lesbians came on and we both agreed that nothing is cooler
than lesbians. He even went as far as to joke that the word lesbian could
be the new slang for cool, since you can't get any cooler than lesbians!
Think about it, we took a word like gay and use it to describe people with
same sex tendencies or Motley Crue songs. Why can't we use the word
lesbian in the place of cool? I think that would be a really lesbian
idea. Try it yourself; you'll be amazed at the response you get!
Back to Showtime and lesbians. The suits
at the network finally realized that lesbians are cool. (Or should I say
lesbians are lesbian.) "The L Word" held so much promise. When I heard
they were doing the show, I was immediately excited (what red-blooded man
wasn't?). This will save me trips to the video store! But the show
turned out kind of disappointing. But because it has lesbians in it, it
got renewed. Even if the show isn't that great, the coolness of lesbians,
makes it lesbian by association.
So if anyone from Showtime is reading this,
here is my idea to save "Dead Like Me". You need to renew it for at least
half season but improve it by introducing a love-story subplot between
George (a chick, yeah tell me this show wasn't headed in the right direction)
and that hottie Daisy. The ratings would be through the roof. A lesbian
connection with the dark wit and sarcasm! It's a win win. So think
about it. It would be a really lesbian idea. If you go along with
my idea then I will take my slapp back. So be lesbian and give it
another shot. If you don't that would be so unlesbian and you will
have earned a big slapp not only from me but in the ratings.
Scott Slapp is a professional
a**hole and rock critic, as well as antiMUSIC contributor. His biggest
aspiration in life is to become Eddie Vedder.
Your
turn.
Fan
Speak:
Posted by Porcupine:
I know! And I was all, "just get naked and argue about quantum physics already!" Smart chicks=hot. Too bad Joss insists on killing them off.
Posted by Link:
well they did do that one episode where some looks and words were exchanged
Posted by Porcupine:
Sure, there was Kennedy, if you like to be annoyed. Personally, I always held hope that Willow would crossover to Angel and seduce Fred...Argh, poor Fred! (I'm such a geek.)
Posted by Link:
Porcupine: Oh my poor Tara ;) still there was Kennedy !!
Posted by the voice of reason:
Hmmm. There's not much of a slapp here, dude. But i'll say this, as a male lesbian, the L Word sux, hardcore.
Posted by Caught in a Mosh:
That article was pretty lesbian man.
hot lesbian having lesbian sex that is
Posted by Porcupine:
God I wish I was a lesbian. Damn my phallus. Damn it to hell. Link, lesbians have to actually be alive to save a show. Poor Tara.
Posted by Wes Rains:
Lesbians are only cool in the following: 1.) they are hot, 2.)they are hot and naked, 3.)they are hot and are having hot lesbian sex, 4.) And did I say they have to be hot.
Posted by Link:
Way to label an entire group mossehead!!! I guess your name says it all
Posted by Moosehead:
greenmuse is right. like it or hate it, lesbians are only cool if they are hot.
Posted by GREENMUSE:
2 words:rosie odonnell.there is nothing cool about that woman.nothing.
Posted by bored:
oh lesbianism - i've never heard someone talk about that before. your sllaps are tired and you're trying too hard. quality over quantity.
Posted by Link:
As a lesbian myself i have to say i rather like the L word. I dont think that a lesbian story would save Dead Like Me though, it didnt work for Buffy (RIP) Looks like iam finally cool then for the first time in my life
