antiMUSIC is reluctant to present Slapped!
with Scott Slapp. Hes been bugging us to do this for a while. So we figured
what the hell, lets give him a shot at it. If he isnt assassinated by
an irate fan, Scott will check in with us every day to tell us who needs
to be Slapped.
.
Slapp of the Day: Bill O'Reilly
As always the views expressed
by the writer do not neccessarily reflect the views of antiMUSIC or the
iconoclast entertainment group
I'm feeling lazy today and still trying
to recover from the gawd awful all-star rendition of "Across The Universe"
from Sunday night (who did they think they were, Elton John? Don't
change the fricken words! That performance will change your world alright;
it will make you lose your fans!) Anyway, since I'm in no mood for
a full blunt force slapp I thought I would do a no-brainer slapp for today.
So ladies and gentleman (and Motley Crue fans) today I shall slapp Bill
O'Reilly! If anyone needs a good slapp, it's this putz.
Bill O'Reilly cost me $300 this past weekend.
I was forced to fork over my not so hard earned dollars to buy a TV for
my bedroom because of Bill O'Reilly. You see my roommates have an unhealthy
obsession with Mr O. Every night at 5:00 (PST) we can't watch real TV because
for some reason my roommates just have to watch this vapid excuse for a
political talk show. I bitched and bitched to try and get them to change
the channel but it was no use, they have become Billdroids. They're lame
excuse that they are just killing time until Dennis Miller comes on doesn't
wash with me.
Why do I dislike Bill O'Reilly so much?
What's to like? I think Bill has enough love for himself that there
is no room for anyone else in the world to love him.
I don't care about his politics.
I've heard him characterized as a "right winger" or "conservative" talk
show host but I don't buy that description. While I'm not one to side with
conservatives (Go Nader!), I think it's just mean spirited to all the real
conservatives to try and lump O'Reilly in with them. Let me explain. Most
partisan talking heads or hosts actually have convictions and beliefs.
After being forced to watch this blowhard, I honest don't think he believes
in anything aside from his ego and pocketbook. It's actually pretty
humorous watching him kiss people's ass in order to try and land an interview.
Think back to the O'Reilly's laughable election coverage. Right after
he kissed Michael Moore's ass, he started pandering to John Kerry and he
never tired of giving an on air pitch for an interview or ignoring things
you would expect a rightwing blow hard to harp on (swift boats anyone?).
He calls it being fair but I call it good old fashioned ass kissing. He
did the same for Bush, while he more or less ignored all of the third party
candidates because they wouldn't bring big ratings. So much for fair
and balanced.
That's one thing I've discovered about
Mr. O, his opinions seem to be directly tied to what will give him the
best ratings. He's on the right one minute, on the left the next.
It's pretty dizzying to watch the "no spin zone" with O'Reilly spinning
so. But that's not the worst thing about this putz.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but I did take
psych 101 and know how to google, so I think I'm pretty qualified in this
instance to diagnose O'Reilly with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
A quick google turned up this description:
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity
(in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning
by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by
five (or more) of the following:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance
(e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as
superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of
unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love believes that
he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should
associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a sense of entitlement, i.e.,
unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic
compliance with his or her expectations
Is interpersonally exploitative,
i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize
or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes
that others are envious of him or her
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors
or attitudes
Sound familiar? (Some of you will say it
takes one to know one, but you know where you can stick that diagnosis
Dr Phil.) The biggest vomitous aspect of Bill O'Reilly's show is that everything
is about him. It doesn't matter what the topic is, or who he is interviewing,
you can expect the prevailing word out of his mouth to be "I". It
can be about breast cancer and O'Reilly will figure out a way to make it
about himself. The funniest moments are when he is interviewing someone
with a book out; Bill will almost always slip in bits about his own books.
Take this test, the next time you watch his show count how many times he
speaks in the first person. You'll be amazed. (But don't try that
with my column).
Another good test is before you watch O'Reilly
read his viewers mail, go back and read that description of narcissism
again and pay attention to the mail he chooses to read.
And don't forget to buy all that factor
gear!
Ok, I'm not a doctor, and I don't want
to hire a lawyer so I can't state for the record that O'Reilly has this
disorder or any other but from being mildly observant I can tell you definitively
that he is a tool.
I don't know why people watch his show.
What is the big attraction of watching a self-important asskissing panderer
spending an hour talking about himself and trying to get you to buy his
products? I wish he really was a rightwing blow hard. I could at
least respect him for believing in something besides himself, or disagree
with him over tangible beliefs, but from what I've seen he seems to be
a garden variety opportunist. He appears to only believe in whatever will
get him ratings, sell his books or products, or land an interview which
will help the first two things. That and it gives him an opportunity to
talk about his favorite subject, Bill O'Reilly.
Well Bill, now that I have spent my cash
on my very own TV, the spin finally does stop here from me and I won't
be forced to tune in to the most ridiculous item of the day your entire
program. (I had to address that last part to him directly; he wouldn't
have had it any other way). The only way I would suffer through
O'Reilly on TV again is if he somehow teamed up with another famous suspected
narcissist by the name of Michael Moore for a celebrity death match. Hell,
I'd order that on pay-per-view. But I'd doubt it would happen since they
would both insist on getting top billing. Such is the problem with
tools and narcissist.
Now before I go, be sure to check out the
Scott Slapp store for all your favorite Slapp gear. Premium members be
sure to log in and vote in the Slapp poll and don't forget to be on the
lookout for my new book, "Who's Slapping Tools for You?"
Scott Slapp is a professional
a**hole and rock critic, as well as antiMUSIC contributor. His biggest
aspiration in life is to become Eddie Vedder.
Your
turn.
Fan
Speak:
Posted by John:
I thought this was a music site. I just came here for the first time. If o'rielly is making music comments whick he often does then a comment is appropiate, otherwise I would have to conclude that you are writing a political column and not about music. After reading a few of the reader comments it looks like you have supporters, so I guess I will read the first couple of sentences and then pass if it isn't about music.
Posted by John:
I thought this was a music site. I just came here for the first time. If o'rielly is making music commenys whick he often does then a comment is appropiate, otherwise I would have to conclude that you are writing a political column and not about music. After reading a few of the reader comments it looks like you have supporters, so I guess I will read the first couple of sentences and then pass if it isn't about music.
Posted by hikingartist:
Read the news and watch college hockey instead.
Posted by Lost in Iowa:
Like any media star, he sets his own stage, makes his own throne; and then starts spouting off to his peasants how he can save them from someone else's point of view. I'd rather hear Bill spout over Rush Limbaugh's constant diatribe of self sacrifice. So I decided after I was taken from the cult of "American Ethics and Religious Crusades" to become an independent thinker and believe nothing that I hear and half of what I see. So I decided to let 'Chronix Aggresion' soothe my soul. So I say slap them all; They hold no answers; they are not privy to any higher power than anyone else within earshot of there nonsense. I still believe today what my first platoon sgt. told me before I hit the ground "Kill them all and let God sort them out." Iowa out
Posted by Someone Stole My Mother:
Bill O'Reilly is a tard. Have you ever heard him trying to make sense of his political beliefs? It only takes a 3rd-grade education to see through the nonsense to the fact that he has absolutely no logic.
Posted by Celicia:
i agree!!! totally! ive been saying that for i dont know how long! my mother watches that show religiously! its ridiculous, i cant stand that man, it makes me dizzy just listening to him.
Posted by BUTCH:
has anybody heard the clip of B.O. on stern when he is reading a name attached to an e-mail. "Jack Mayhoffer" it sounds like he's saying "jack me off". its so damn funny.
Posted by 5Against1:
I love Factor Gear! I just ordered the Factor Home Abortion Kit. When Roe v. Wade gets overturned I'll be ready! And that's a memo.
Posted by Mr. huh? saying, "My Generation Sucks!":
GUESS WHAT?!! I MAY HAVE ALREADY WON!!!
Posted by Boller:
Wow, good slapp, next you're gonna slapp michael moore and fred durst right? Try a little harder next time.
Posted by GREENMUSE:
i like cnn,its gives me something to put my pants on to while im getting ready for work in the morning.yeah i watch tv in my underwear,i said it and im proud.dammit im from the south,pants are optional here!
Posted by DeadSun:
NPD, eh? I suppose this means Scott's gearing up to slap me as well... *smirk*
Posted by Scott:
You call that a slapp? Like I said, O'Reilly doesn't really take a partisan side, he takes whatever side will get him ratings or an interview. I'm well aware that he reads negative reader mail but he always reads gushing bs mail too. I bet you've sent him love letters haven't you? I don't happen to watch CNN and unlike you, I can think for myself. If you think Bill tells you both sides and let's you decide you might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer because this bozo is a textbook example of someone telling you what to think. As for the "proceeds" going to charity for factor gear. Or as Bill says a "substantial portion", why isn't that disclose anywhere? You won't see that claim on his store front and he does not give an accounting of how much he gives to charities or specifics at all. Talk about spin and you happily buy into it. Congrats! You are a Billdroid!
Posted by Hash Pipe:
Scott G. Dont f'ing tell me Bill O'reiley presents both sides of the argumen thats bs. Cnn is far more unbiased then Mr. Mouthpiece for the elite O'reilley.
Posted by Anuj:
Nothing beats the feeling I got when his "scandal" (HA!!) was uncovered.
Posted by Caught in a Mosh:
I used to watch his show, but his ego just destroyed it once i recognized it.
Posted by Neurotic Ben:
Bill O'Reilly wouldn't know what to do in a legitimate debate to save his life...neither would Ann Coulter or Michael Moore for that matter. They're nothing but entertainers, spouting one-liners and 'gotchas'. They are to political commentary what the WWE is to the sport of wrestling. And like professional wrestling, people want to believe that it's 'real'...but sadly it is not. It's just entertainment.
Posted by Wes Rains:
I quit reading after the google search, it was pointless to read on. Slapp you should go back to writing a monthly thing.
Posted by Porcupine:
Scott G., please research narcissism a little more. A narcissist can be perfectly willing to acknowledge people that disagree with him, as long as they REALLY disagree with him. If they hate him, it reinforces his sense of importance. Anyway, the notion that the Factor is fair and balanced quickly goes out the window if you watch the segment where Bill tells the son of a 9/11 victim to "Shut up! You shut your mouth! Turn off his microphone..." Yes Slapp, please do Hannity, and nail Colmes while you're at it, and DEFINITELY give Ann Coulter a good slapping.
Posted by BUTCH:
ya know, for premium members on billoreilly.com you can get a discount on factor gear. factor gear includes: sassy jackets, billy's books, coffee mugs and GIANT FUKKING VIBRATORS YOU CAN USE WHILE MAKING LEWD PHONE CALLS TO WOMEN! who's looking out for you, baby (bzz)
Posted by Scott G.:
Mr. Slapp,
Now its my turn to slapp you. While O'Reillymay not be perfect I'll take him over most of the talking heads on the air these days. My feeling is that you're so used to someone telling you how to think (see CNN) that when someone like O'Reilly comes on and present both sides of the issue and asks you to make your own decision on a matter you go into brain lock!
As for the reader mail, if you bother to watch this segment over the course of a week or two you'll see that all comments (both positive and negative towards Bill) are presented.
And for "Factor Gear" all proceeds from the sale of these items goes to charity. Also, unlike many celebrities who sell swag, Bill's books are open so anyone can see where the money goes. Go ask George Clooney to see the books on the 911 victims telethon which he endorsed and participated.
Double "B-Slapp" for you today!!!
Posted by The Evil Mr Google:
Who the f*ck is Hannity???
Posted by Bill O'Reilly:
Shut up! You shut up! You better shut up about me, you communist! And you certainly better not google my name along with the word "loofah" to see what comes up! It's all lies! Shut up! SHUT UP!
Posted by yeah:
spoken to perfection my friend.....
