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antiGUY gives his top 5 list of music stuff. Could be songs, people, a stupid trend... nothing is sacred to antiGUY


Top 5 Cheesiest Videos From the 80’s

So I was watching VH1 Classic’s Metal Mania weekend and it just floored me to remember how cheesy some 80’s videos were. Granted it was a new art form at that point but even some bands I love made some real stinkers in the 80’s.  It’s all in good fun and all and sadly now that the video art form has matured there are few outlets for people to see them. Anyway, after watching hours of cheese mixed in with some decent videos I decided to head over to the message board and see if any of our regulars had some favorite 80’s cheese videos they would want to suggest for a Top 5 Cheesiest Videos of the 80’s list and got some good suggestions.  So read on my pick of those suggested videos and then post your own in the Fan Speak.  

Top 5 Cheesiest 80’s Videos

5) Queensryche – “Queen of the Ryche” – a concept video gone horrible cheese. AliceCooperette had this to add “I spend days on Morpheus downloading that video, and it was huge. I'd heard that it was really great. Boy did I feel cheated. That is a painfully BAD video.”

4) Enuff Z’nuff – “New Thing” Love this band but this video was a big mistake, why they allowed themselves to be talked into co-opting the glam look.. anyway Lithium Bliss had this to add – “Whatever cheez vid Enuff Z'Nuff did to get themselves lumped in with Winger and Poison and s***. Listening to Tweaked as I type… and they were a pretty good band.”  Greenmuse added a blurb about the followup video for “Fly High Michelle” – “Is that the video with the rainbows?i cant belive anyone would purposly make a video like that.” 

3) Wham - "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" – Byter had this to say  “cringing just isn't enough”

2) Warrant – “Cherry Pie” – sound have been called cheese pie!  Greenmuse had this to add  “Cherry Pie was always good for a crack up I loved the oh so subtle sexual connotation. The pie falling into the girls lap is just too funny.” 

1) Tony Basil – “Micky” it just doesn’t get cheesier than this. 

Honorable mentions:

From Byter:
"Too Young to Fall in Love" by Motley Crue 
 (trying WAY too hard to look cool ... still absurdly hilarious) 

"Rock of Ages" by Def Leppard 
 (is there an acting coach in the house? no, but let's throw in some chains and lightning bolts to make up for it). 

"Down Boys" by Warrant 
 (where the dumb boys go, GO!! *insert five leather-clad, burnt matchsticks dropping to their knees in delightful show of rockin' choreography*). 

"Rock Me Tonight" by Billy Squire 
(I'd really like to know at what point he thought that flitting around a bedroom in sweat pants and a pink tank top like a girly-man would look cool).

From Magustyle
Fine Young Cannibals – “She Drives Me Crazy”......guys in H.R. puff n' stuff track suits squatthrusting and having synchronized seizures....
 

From 5150guy:
Commenting on “Down Boys” - Man, I think the "Heaven" video beats that one out hands down for cheese factor.  

As I type this I'm watching "When I Look Into Your Eyes" by FireHouse.

From Greenmuse:
“She’s got looks that kill” - Motley Crue, its like a badly acted "cats", flying pentagrams are never cool. 

Def Leppard -“rock of ages”, I agree this is just too cheezy, what’s with the sword, no viking tr00ness here, just cornyness 

Was Not Was- “do the dinosaur” .this song and video make me angry, very angry. 

Duran Duran – “Hungry Like The Wolf,”  hate the band, hate the song, and women pretending to be wolves isn’t good in any time  

Bow Wow Wow- “I Want Candy”. doesnt this just say it all?

From Ballerina:
How about Twisted Sister, "We're Not Gonna Take It"? Major cheez

From AliceCooperette:
Any of Twisted Sister's early videos will work. "The Leader of the Pack" is ... just terrible. I know it was meant to be a joke, but HEEEEYYUULL  NAAAW. Ugh. 

If Mott the Hoople ever did videos, those had to be sheer hell to watch. Also, Judas Priest's "Turbo Lover". I still haven't decided whether I love or hate it. "Pour Some Sugar on Me" is... gross. The purple and black thing Dio wore in his videos was pretty bad as well.

From Keavin:
This was a long list but here are highlights 

Debbie Gibson "Lost in your eyes", "Shake Your Love"

Vanilla Ice - "Ice Ice Baby"

Erasure - "Chains Of Love" hanging and singing from chains..

Adam Ant - "Strip" "Goody Two Shoes" 

Rick Springfield - "Jesse's Girl"

Iron Maiden - "Number of the Beast" love the song but the people ball room dancing holding sings saying "6" and then changing into beasts with bad Halloween masks.

Olivia Newton John - "Physical" 

KISS - "Tears Are Falling" What's with the yellow and pink gloves Paul? "All Hells Breakin' Loose" 

Tiffany - "I Think We're Alone Now" The mall before it went hardcore =) 

Helix - "Rock You"

Judas Priest - "Hot Rockin'" gotta love Rob setting the microphone on fire and singing from it. Priest pretty much cornered the market on metal-cheese videos.
 
 


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