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antiGUY gives his
top 5 list of music stuff. Could be songs, people, a stupid trend... nothing
is sacred to antiGUY
5 Cheesiest Videos From the 80’s
So I was watching VH1 Classic’s Metal Mania
weekend and it just floored me to remember how cheesy some 80’s videos
were. Granted it was a new art form at that point but even some bands I
love made some real stinkers in the 80’s. It’s all in good fun and
all and sadly now that the video art form has matured there are few outlets
for people to see them. Anyway, after watching hours of cheese mixed in
with some decent videos I decided to head over to the message board and
see if any of our regulars had some favorite 80’s cheese videos they would
want to suggest for a Top 5 Cheesiest Videos of the 80’s list and got some
good suggestions. So read on my pick of those suggested videos and
then post your own in the Fan Speak.
Top 5 Cheesiest
5) Queensryche – “Queen of the Ryche”
– a concept video gone horrible cheese. AliceCooperette had this to add
“I spend days on Morpheus downloading that video, and it was huge. I'd
heard that it was really great. Boy did I feel cheated. That is a painfully
4) Enuff Z’nuff – “New Thing” Love
this band but this video was a big mistake, why they allowed themselves
to be talked into co-opting the glam look.. anyway Lithium Bliss had this
to add – “Whatever cheez vid Enuff Z'Nuff did to get themselves lumped
in with Winger and Poison and s***. Listening to Tweaked as I type… and
they were a pretty good band.” Greenmuse added a blurb about the
followup video for “Fly High Michelle” – “Is that the video with the rainbows?i
cant belive anyone would purposly make a video like that.”
3) Wham - "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"
– Byter had this to say “cringing just isn't enough”
2) Warrant – “Cherry Pie” – sound
have been called cheese pie! Greenmuse had this to add “Cherry
Pie was always good for a crack up I loved the oh so subtle sexual connotation.
The pie falling into the girls lap is just too funny.”
1) Tony Basil – “Micky” it just
doesn’t get cheesier than this.
"Too Young to Fall in Love" by Motley
(trying WAY too hard to look cool
... still absurdly hilarious)
"Rock of Ages" by Def Leppard
(is there an acting coach in the
house? no, but let's throw in some chains and lightning bolts to make up
"Down Boys" by Warrant
(where the dumb boys go, GO!! *insert
five leather-clad, burnt matchsticks dropping to their knees in delightful
show of rockin' choreography*).
"Rock Me Tonight" by Billy Squire
(I'd really like to know at what point
he thought that flitting around a bedroom in sweat pants and a pink tank
top like a girly-man would look cool).
Fine Young Cannibals – “She Drives Me
Crazy”......guys in H.R. puff n' stuff track suits squatthrusting and having
Commenting on “Down Boys” - Man, I think
the "Heaven" video beats that one out hands down for cheese factor.
As I type this I'm watching "When I Look
Into Your Eyes" by FireHouse.
“She’s got looks that kill” - Motley Crue,
its like a badly acted "cats", flying pentagrams are never cool.
Def Leppard -“rock of ages”, I agree this
is just too cheezy, what’s with the sword, no viking tr00ness here, just
Was Not Was- “do the dinosaur” .this song
and video make me angry, very angry.
Duran Duran – “Hungry Like The Wolf,”
hate the band, hate the song, and women pretending to be wolves isn’t good
in any time
Bow Wow Wow- “I Want Candy”. doesnt this
just say it all?
How about Twisted Sister, "We're Not Gonna
Take It"? Major cheez
Any of Twisted Sister's early videos will
work. "The Leader of the Pack" is ... just terrible. I know it was meant
to be a joke, but HEEEEYYUULL NAAAW. Ugh.
If Mott the Hoople ever did videos, those
had to be sheer hell to watch. Also, Judas Priest's "Turbo Lover". I still
haven't decided whether I love or hate it. "Pour Some Sugar on Me" is...
gross. The purple and black thing Dio wore in his videos was pretty bad
This was a long list but here are highlights
Debbie Gibson "Lost in your eyes", "Shake
Vanilla Ice - "Ice Ice Baby"
Erasure - "Chains Of Love" hanging and
singing from chains..
Adam Ant - "Strip" "Goody Two Shoes"
Rick Springfield - "Jesse's Girl"
Iron Maiden - "Number of the Beast" love
the song but the people ball room dancing holding sings saying "6" and
then changing into beasts with bad Halloween masks.
Olivia Newton John - "Physical"
KISS - "Tears Are Falling" What's with
the yellow and pink gloves Paul? "All Hells Breakin' Loose"
Tiffany - "I Think We're Alone Now" The
mall before it went hardcore =)
Helix - "Rock You"
Judas Priest - "Hot Rockin'" gotta love
Rob setting the microphone on fire and singing from it. Priest pretty much
cornered the market on metal-cheese videos.