antiTainment NEWS: aT Week – Double Survivor- American Idle-  Helter Skelter-  Jessica Simpson Bounced- Troy Pitt- Rosie Spouts Off- Paltrow Has An Apple- Courtney Loves To Ramble- and more!

05-16-04 Keavin
aG’s couch potato wrap-up of the top entertainment stories of the week. 

Double Survivor 

Amber Brkich may have won "Survivor: All-Stars", and the million dollars that goes along with it, but she lost by being saddled with “Boston Rob” who proposed to her during the live “reunion” show last Sunday. But America’s “Ultimate Survivor” was the scruffy ball of fishing love, Rupert Boneham. Mark Burnett shook things up by offering America a chance to vote for their favorite “Survivor All-Star” and Rupert walked away with a million.  He went up against the 15 other “All-Stars”. The top four included good ol' boy “Big Tom”, pin-up Texan Colby and the most trust worthy Survivor of all time, “Boston Rob”.  Wonder when feminist are going to start complaining that the vote was fixed or sexist? 

American Idle

Speaking of silly accusations about television voting- American Idol is taking arrows again after La Toya London was given the axe this week. The internet has been filled with bonehead accusations since the vote was announced on Wednesday and La Toya was sent packing. (Don’t worry, she’ll more than likely end up with a record contract.)

One of the lamest accusations to come out of this?  That skinheads are power voting to eliminate any black contestants! Another silly one was that people have rigged software dialers to make sure that all the blacks are voted off. Sounds like something out of an Oliver Stone or Michael Moore movie. 

Charley, Sadie and Vincent. 

Hollywood continues to run out of new ideas, so the latest remake to hit the screen (the little one this time) is “Helter Skelter,” which airs on CBS on Sunday night (May 16). This is a remake of the 1976 mini-series based on Manson prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi’s best selling book on the Charles Manson trial. The original focused primarily on investigation and the trial for the Tate- LaBianca killings, but this remake is said to focus more on Manson and his family. It will be hard to top Steve Railsback’s chilling portrayal of Manson from the original film. Railsback became Manson.  And it’s doubtful that Bruno Kirby can pull off a better Bugliosi than George DiCenzo. The good news? The original movie is now out on DVD! 

Courtney Loves To Ramble. 

Breathing freak show Courtney Love was in New York this week to plead not guilty to charges against her for bonking a man on the head with a microphone during an onstage break down. Love pulled a Jacko and showed up to court over an hour late, then afterwards she held a press conference in the ladies room.  Some of her jewels of wisdom?  "I'm exactly the same as I've always been. I'm not a demure housewife. Why should I start acting like one?" and "I was a junkie. I'm not now". Love her consistency. 

Random silliness: Jessica Simpson was bounced from a nightclub in L.A. on Wednesday after getting into it with a bouncer. Rosie O'Donnell caused an uproar when she got into an argument with Star Jones on “The View” Wednesday. O’Donnell was talking about the unfairness of Martha Stewart being convicted and O.J Simpson and Jayson Williams getting off the hook. Brad Pitt takes on Homer. Not Simpson, the Greek Homer.  Pitt is the star behind “Troy”, the new epic screen portrayal of the Homer classic “The Iliad”. Former "Baywatch" star Pamela Anderson became a U.S. citizen Wednesday. “Mean Girl” and Disney’s modern answer to Hayley Mills, Lindsay Lohan will be the host of the MTV Movie Awards which airs June 10th.  Fox continues to scrap the bottom of the barrel of taste in the reality TV department. No, we’re not talking about marrying off midgets, giving women a complex about beauty, or sticking couples on “Temptation Island”- no, the new big idea for the network is a two-hour reality special in which straight men will try to convince people they are gay. What’s the point? Fox has been trying for a decade to convince us that they are a network. 

In the rich people with silly names segment this week: p.diddy fired the members of his manufactured singing the group “da band” during the season finale of “Making the Band II”.  Can we fire p.diddy? Doesn't he have enough bling-bling already? p.diddy steps to makin' da money No. 3 "Stand around in other people's videos". 

Finally in this week's what the hell were they smoking story: Gwyneth Paltrow gave birth to her first child this week (Daddy is Coldplay’s Chris “Rocky” Martin). What did she name the little girl? Apple Blythe Alison Martin.  And we didn’t even know that Gwyneth was a hippy. 

That’s it for this week’s lame antiTainment news you could have done without.  We’ll see next week when we go over what the silly bastards in the entertainment world did in the coming week. 




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