Leave Britney Alone! (Smack Down Editorial)

(Jake Brown) The Fall of Western Civilization will be televised, blogged, TMZed, Greta'd, stalkerazied and more! Jake Brown offers his latest Smack Down on the Britney overload overtaking our society. [note this article was turned in a couple days before Britney was 5150ed] Here is Jake:

I can't believe I am finally siding with Britney Spears, but on the other hand, I never thought this whole Paparazzi hurricane- which is almost SOLELY responsible for her multi-chapter meltdown- would lead me to throw some respect K-Fed's way. You almost have to, if only for the fact that he is being a stable figure in his children's lives. The real evil here isn't entirely the Paparazzi either, they have a not-so-silent partner in that sad portion of the American public who are so bored with their own lives that they live vicariously through the dramas of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or Lindsay Lohan.

Sadly, this is not a recent phenomenon, although the caliber of gossip-worthy targets has moved down a few notches from the A-List heydays of the 20s with Howard Hughes, or the 50s with Elvis and the Rat Pack, or 60s and 70s with the Rolling Stones or John Lennon and Yoko Ono… Instead, in the new millennium, D-List has-beens, or never-would-have-beens (were it not for America's obsession with Reality TV i.e. Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie) dominate our pop-culture. Its indicative of an overall shift from MTV primarily playing MUSIC VIDEOS to the present dominance of REALITY TV programming.

One BASIC, BASIC difference with any of the aforementioned eras was the foundational fact that those being stalked by the paparazzi almost always had some talent which had made them famous in the first place; be it their being a movie or recording star. Almost the reverse is true in present-day, talentless nothings like Paris Hilton get record deals and rake in $20 million for saying 'That's Hot' and putting out a sex tape. I enjoyed Paris's sex tape for the 15 minutes I watched it for just like everyone else, but 15 minutes was ALL she was entitled to. It's sad in this sophisticated day and age technologically, scientifically, culturally, economically in every other facet as a society, that we are as dumbed-down in our pop-culture.

We LOWER ourselves to make these losers STARS, it is really a sad fact of life. Obesity is at record levels in the U.S. because Americans prefer to sit around stuffing their faces and reading this trash, as opposed to say going out to a rock show, or seeing a movie even- at least then you're supporting a struggling industry. TABLOIDS on the other hand are thriving in sales, and its literally twisted in terms of the way things should logically be. I'm not suggesting that people need to go to some play or museum in place of spending that time reading a tabloid… WATCH FOOTBALL, or PLAY A VIDEO GAME FOR HOURS! Get stoned and bang your girl, whatever… JUST PUT DOWN THE TABLOIDS!

Without a demand for these trash rags, more trees will be saved because less copies will be printed- if you want an environmental reason. Or perhaps this one works for you: without Britney Spears, there would be no K-FED. Hmmmm… that to me is a reason unto itself, even though I gave him some necessary props earlier in this rant. The bottom line is: just because he's a good father, he shouldn't be getting $50,000 to appear at a New Years Eve party… But because of his celebrity via the tabloid obsession with Britney Spears' meltdown, we're forced to continually hear about him till his name is as world-famous as hers. I suppose the same accusation could be made about Yoko Ono, but in that case, it was JOHN LENNON- a legitimate living legend- so the public could see tolerating her. If we've reached a point where Britney Spears and John Lennon are on the same level, it's a true low that we should all be ashamed of.

The bottom line: if AMERICA leaves the tabloids alone, they'll leave BRITNEY alone, and in turn, K-FED won't be up in 2009 for Father of the Year award!!

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