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Madonna Gets To Keep Her Adopted Malawian Boy-Slave


05/29/2008
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(Hecklerspray) Break out the overpriced Kabbalah water and whatever the hell it is that makes Madonna's arm all veiny and crap, Madonna's won her adoption case!

It's been close to two years in the making, but today a Malawi court finally made Madonna's adoption of her three-year-old Malawian son David Banda official. At last - now the courts are off her back, Madonna can finally force little David to work backbreaking chore-filled 21-hour days around the house without worrying that he'll get taken away.

We're just kidding. It's disgusting to assume that Madonna only adopted a poor Malawian boy to use as a dirt-cheap houseboy. She did it because now she can go out and carry him around and everyone will look at him instead of noticing how weirdly immobile her face looks these days.
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