Singled Out: Fin'amor's Memories of Flesh
The song was started during an odd, transitional period of the band-after half of the band's members left and before we reformed again a few months later. The remaining members, Nodar, Raphael and I, began composing material without our original vocalist Benjamin, which led to the first half of the song's lyrics being written before he'd rejoin in the future.
The melody of the song started out while I was messing around with a clean line that was unlike the clean lines from songs we had previously written. It got stuck in our heads and was recorded with the purpose of being a verse segment. It was the perfect opportunity to write lyrics about something crushing, and yet for what felt like weeks, every attempt seemed forced or came out sounding impersonal. The connection just wasn't there.
Looking back I remember Nodar and I sitting on the torn out back seat of the band's van-which was always in front of Nodar's house-drinking coffee and chain smoking cigarettes trying to get a solid idea going. We were talking about the good times and the experiences we had in the band up until the split; reminiscing about it in fear that that we might not be able to get the band back on its feet again, and then it hit us… the lyrics should be about remembering the good during one's impending doom, similar to our situation at the time.
We mended our relationship with Benjamin right around the time that we finished recording these verses in the studio, which was at the same time that Slava and Eugene joined the band. When Ben returned, he continued the process of finishing the lyrics to the song, drawing from personal experiences of a recent death in his family and a friend's suicide. The song became therapeutic to him and everyone who listened to it; it was death, despair, hope, and salvation wrapped into one. In this way, the song took on two meanings: holding on to your inner experiences through life and understanding that you are, and always will be, their sole survivor; and also, paradoxically, being able to remember the people who did not survive, by spiritually taking their place.
It would be hard to say that Memories brought the band back together, but when we did finish the song it felt like we were all granted a new beginning. It would bring great pleasure to us if this song helps someone else move on to their next chapter as well, regardless of what the ending holds for them.