Last month he was sentenced to four years' probation for an assault on his fiancee in July that took place after a 24-day methamphetamine binge. This week he revealed the band had dismissed him while he was in rehab - but he insisted they did it out of love and not spite. He also said his ex-fiancee had saved his life by calling the police on him.

Now Castronovo tells the Statesman Journal: "I was a verbally abusive man. I was a physically abusive man. I abused her. It was wrong. I'm taking responsibility.

"I've realized that domestic violence is really a choice, and it is calculated. The drugs and alcohol exacerbated it immensely - but there's no excuse for what I did. I deal with it every day. It does come into my head every day, and it's deeper than regret or remorse."

He reflects: "You don't want to be 51 and in your fifth stint of treatment, and you've lost everything. The only time I felt self-worth was playing the drums. I used to live for cars, touring, the big houses. Meaningless crap - I'm happier now." Read more - here.

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