antiMUSIC is reluctant to present "Slapped!" with Scott Slapp. He's been bugging us to do this for a while. So we figured what the hell, let's give him a shot at it. If he isn't assassinated by an irate fan, Scott will check in with us every day to tell us who needs to be "Slapped". 

As always the views expressed by the writer do not neccessarily reflect the views of antiMUSIC or the iconoclast entertainment group

Slapp of the Day: King of Slapps

I was surfing around the web today doing research about the latest lame band 'buzz' for my day gig and I came upon some rather interesting sites while using the new MSN Search (I was looking for info on Jonathan Davis).  Did you know that Hitler was a lesbian? I sure didn't. But it says it on a blog site. Know what is scarier? Did you ever notice that Barbara Bush looks like Winston Churchill with a wig on? That's neither here nor there, but the Hitler thing reminded me of it. I know you are saying right now, "Thats nice Scott, now get to the Slapping!". 

To wrap of my first week of Daily Slapps, and in honor of the 300 + people that sent in hate mail complaining about them, this slapp's for you!  I proudly slapp myself. And I do commend some of you for originality! The ol' college intern line never gets tired. That and the frustrated middle age guy works great too! (27 is old but not middle aged)  Although I do agree with the worst opinion writer in history bit. If you want a dissertation in a couple paragraphs, you're in the wrong place! Go read the real columns on this site for substance. 

Some of you asked what gives me the right to slapp others, especially the Einsteins that said I had no business doing so because I stole the guy from Creed's name. If I'm honest, the fact that I'm a jealous hater gives me the right. I'm a little bitter because my favorite band is no longer on MTV (Pearl Jam by the way). Then again, are any bands on MTV these days? But to be perfectly honest, the whole reason behind the slapps is because I spend my days writing bad articles about bad pop stars at my day gig and the lord of anti was kind enough to give me an outlet to vent and make stupid jokes about them. I would get fired for doing so at my real job. That's the long and short of it. I'm sure you Psychology 101 students will say that I like making fun of people to build myself up. That's probably true, thank you Dr. Jung.  I can't play an instrument, I was too bad of a singer to be shown as the worst of American Idol this year, I dress funny and people generally don't like me because I smell funny. But that's ok, I have enough slapps to go around and self hatred is useless unless you can project it onto others!  I know this wasn't a proper slapp but I felt I had to slapp myself after reading all the hate mail the boss forwarded to me. It was either that or suicide by Pop Tarts, knowing full well that I'd wind up in hell with 24x7 Crue as my torture. Does this slapp make you anti-slappers feel any better?  Can I go back to slapping your favorite pop-culture icons now? 

I'll end by saying this to the people that wrote the boss saying I had no business writing for antiMusic and they were gonna stop reading the site because of me. If you don't like what I have to say, just don't read it. There are plenty of good writers and good content on this site for you not to bother with stupid ol' me.  I don't read my own magazine, even my own articles because they don't interest me, so if I am so horrible just stop reading!  But I fear you are like me, you love to be angered and the same thing that inspires my slapps is the same thing that keeps you reading my hateful, childish, poorly written and stupid slapps.  You love to hate too! Admit it, you'll feel better about yourself. 

So until next time (If I don't get fired before them), Slapp out! 

Read Past Slapps