Beyonce Eyes Sister Act Remake

(Hecklerspray) Stop the presses. Beyonce Knowles is about to do something rather marvelous and it does not even involve her wiggling her booty out of time with mediocre music. She is rumoured to be in talks to star in Sister Act. What do you mean is that it?

Terrible 80s films are the new black. Watching Beyonce break out into a cold sweat when she realises that she has to hold an audience's attention without the use of her arse cheeks is going to be worth the inflated price of admission.

Beyonce was inspired to ruin the very definition of chewing gum for the eyes Sister Act after seeing its musical performance onstage. She reportedly asked her people whether a remake would be possible and set about trying to make it happen. Every time a bad 80s movie is remade a kitten is moidered. But don't worry your pretty little head. We can rest safe in the knowledge that the last thing Beyonce tried to make happen was shoulder pads and look how far that got her. - more on this story

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