I love Escape by Rupert Holmes.  You may know it better as The Pina Colada Song.

Call it a guilty pleasure, like my love of Mystery Science Theater 3000 or maybe my affection for Buffy The Vampire Slayer (I mean, before the show got all popular and mainstream), but it’s a guilty pleasure, nonetheless. 

I used to not want to own up to it.  I was too afraid of being ostracized for my beliefs.  But that was long ago and I’m a stronger man now.

So I’ll say it; I ain’t ashamed: I love The Pina Colada Song!

There.  I said it and I feel great!

Oh, what a gem that one was.  Rupert Holmes knocked that one right out of the park.

Rupert Holmes is an accomplished man.  He’s got Tony awards, Broadway credit, motion picture credit, he’s a musician and a novelist.  Hey, the guy is one busy dude.

But for me, it’s all about The Pina Colada Song.  That’s what he’ll be remembered for, most likely.  It was in 1979.  I remember that all of a sudden people were drinking pina coladas and singing that song. 

And to this day, that cheesy little 70’s song still breaks my heart.  I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s because it reminds of my youth, maybe it’s because it’s got a great hook, I don’t know.  I think it might be because the guy gets the girl in the end.  But no matter what the reason is, that song is just so 70’s that it still cracks me up.  I love it.

I love it when you don’t have to think about the music.  You hear the song, you like the song, and then you play the song over and over.  What is so hard about that?

And no one ever gets into fights over Rupert Holmes.  You never see two big guys in a bar kicking the crap out of each other over which was a better Rupert Holmes album – Pursuit of Happiness or Partners In Crime.  No one gets trampled in a mosh pit at a Rupert Holmes show,

That’s like hearing that a riot broke out at a Stephen Bishop show.  It just doesn’t happen.

And I’m glad it doesn’t happen.  I’m kind of tired of music being so fired up that the song takes a back seat to the audience.

Now, I like getting fired up and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Music offers a great opportunity to get you aggressions out.  But every once in a while, ya gotta chill.

That’s when the guilty pleasures come out.  And we all have them, I don’t care how many times your nipples are pierced.  We all have those sappy songs hidden somewhere in our collections that we play when no one’s watching. 

Here’s just a partial list of mine:

Sailing by Christopher Cross.  That song still kills me.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s the dreamy chorus effect on the guitars or maybe it’s that haunting harmony in the hook.  Hell, I don’t even like sailing, but I love that song.

How about some Bish?  It’s You or Red Cab To Manhattan?  Classics!  And what about On And On?  He takes a ladder, steals the stars from the sky, puts on Sinatra and starts to cry.  Pure genius, baby.  Ya gotta love Stephen Bishop.

Mandy by Barry Manilow.  There’s a great track.  You know, I heard a rumor that he wrote that song for his dog.  I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s still a great track.  Time In New England is another heartbreaker.

And here’s one that still, to this very day, will drop kick me every time I hear it: The love theme from the movie Chances Are, After All sung by Peter Cetera and Cher.  I’m getting’ goosebumps just thinking about that one.  Reminds me of that girl from the 80’s that I still think about every once in a while.

Same thing with Todd Rundgren’s track Parallel Lines.  (Oh, here come the tears.)

Sarah, Smile and She’s Gone by Hall & Oates.  Forghedaboutit! 

Pretty much anything by Julia Fordham will do me in, too.  (Not cheesy at all, just one of the most underrated female vocalists out there.)

And how can we possibly forget Chuck E’s In Love by Rickie Lee Jones? 

I love these songs.  And I’m not here to wave the cheesy love song banner, I’m just saying that everyone, even the posters here at good old antiMUSIC, have their own guilty pleasures.

The songs that, for some reason we can’t quite put our finger on, just make us stop and smile.  Maybe they shake loose a long-lost memory, maybe they conjure up some magic from long ago, maybe it’s just a song with a great hook. 

No matter what the reason, it’s a guilty pleasure.

I’m tired of hiding mine at the bottom of my music collection, though.  I think I’m gonna let my freak flag fly and take all those tracks out, dust them off and give them a spin.

So if you’re in Southern California and you hear some guy screaming about how he loves pina coladas and getting caught in the rain at the top of his lungs, don’t be alarmed. 

It’s only me.

That’s my two cents, now gimme my change and tell my your guilty pleasure. 
 
 

Chuck DiMaria is Los Angeles based musician, actor and antiMUSIC columnist (his resume goes on). Check out his website ChuckDiMaria.com for more of his writings, MP3s and more (be sure to read about his adventures in online dating!!) Plus be sure check out the site for his band Under Pressure.

Your turn. What are you guilty pleasures?

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