Missy Elliot by antiGUY

This time around I thought we should take a closer look at Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott. I'm not joking she actually uses  "Misdemeanor" in her name. After listening to her all I can say is her "music" is anything but a minor crime; it is a major felony on the eardrums. My first real exposure to Missy Elliot was her Gap commercial where she basically ended every line with "Yo". It seemed like she made up the rap as the camera was rolling, because if those lyrics were prepared before hand, then it brings to surface some serious questions about her "talent".  If you missed that steller performance, count yourself lucky that the Gap stopped running the commericial almost as soon as it hit the airwaves. 

 I took some heat from a couple of her fans because I called her a "talentless hack" in a recent rant. They claim she is a visionary as well as an innovative artist and producer. So I thought to myself, ok antiGUY, you have been wrong before why not take a closer look at Missy Elliot's music, seek out the profound poetry in the lyrics, the deep meaningful thoughts she conveys with her "music".  Here is what I found: 

The following are some of her groundbreaking-thought provoking lyrics: 

From Mysterious

We started in 1997 
And finished in 1999 
Ha, she brought you "The Rain" 
"Sock it to me" 
"Beep me 911" 
And now it's a new year 
Not the year 2G 
But the year do G 
"She's A Bitch" 
Definitely the Bitch-to-be right about now 

From Beat Biters

By all means necessary 
You might catch me somewhere stickin' yo baby daddy 
They say oh "Missy you wack" but yall not ready 
Cuz I come back like a smack 
You hear my gats in yo back (blat-blat-blat) 
Huh, like spaghetti 
Half of yall MCs be stinkin' like boobetti 
So your record label cut you off like confetti

From Smooth Chick

Party Time (Uh uh) 
Uh (Say what?) 
Uh huh (Yo) 
Uh (Say what) 
Uh huh, uh huh 
Uh Uh (What) 
Uh huh (One more) 
Uh (Yo, yo bring it to me)

� 1 - I'm a smooth chick, I'm a cool chick 
I got gats but don't make me use it 
I'm quick to lose it, I'm 'bout to do it 
Shake my ass down to the music 
I'm a smooth chick, I'm a cool chick 
I got gats but don't make me use it 
I'm quick to lose it, I'm 'bout to do it 
I'mma shake my ass down to the music

Ok, I gave it a shot and that was what I discovered. I find nothing innovative, artistic or thought provoking in those lyrics. It's not that hard to come up with a word to rhyme with "it". So why use "it" to end four lines in the same verse? For example: " I got the Missy Elliot CD and listened to it / I gotta tell you, it was totally s*** / It was so bad I went into a fit / How the hell did this become a hit". Some of the lines don't even come close to rhyming. This is innovative? It looks like a shortcut to talent to me. I'm not bashing Missy's producing here, for all I know she could be the Phil Spector or George Martin of Hip-Hop but her raps just leave me scratching my head asking "why are people buying this s***?". I'm not a big rap fan, but I do recognize that there are a few rappers out there who do have a talent for lyrical verse, they string words together and it flows like water. I see Missy Elliot on MTV or VH1 or hear one of her songs and I just don't hear the talent that all the critics and her defenders claim is there. Don't get me started on the delivery, it's anything but smooth, in fact it sounds like she has a speech impediment. 

If rap is modern urban poetry, then Missy Elliot's lyrics are the equivelant of modern urban nursery rhymes, but then again, I don't want to give nursery rhymes a bad name. Missy, leave the rapping to those who know what the hell they are doing!

Previous "What the Hell" Articles

Lyrics are quoted here for review purposes and are Copyright 1999 Missy Elliot/Elektra Records. All Rights Reserved by Copyright Owners.