Boybands
in Space, Disney Rock Cops and Other Absurd Developments.
by antiGUY
Is it just me or has the world gone crazy?
Just keeping up with entertainment news these days and some of the headlines
really gives me pause to consider the current state of the world and just
how wacko things have become. What follows are three examples of some crazy
music stories I have recently ran across in my reading.
Boybands in Space.
It seems that N Sync’s Lance Bass is in
the running to be launched into space. While some may like the idea as
long as he didn’t return, I have to scratch my head at the thought that
something as important as the exploration of space has been reduced to
such a trivial level that putting a pop star into space is even being considered.
After the initial reports that Lance Bass was hoping to raise $25 million
from sponsors so that the Russians could launch him into space in November
with the flight and the training being filmed for a television special,
the Russians balked at such a thought. The Russian Space Agency says that
they have not talked with Bass or the Netherlands based MirCorp who are
supposed arranging the odyssey for the pop star. While it is true that
the Russians have shot non-astronauts into space, principally rich businessman
who could come up with millions to pay for the trip, the Russian Space
Agency contends that Bass is not in the running. Ok end of story right?
Not so fast, even if the cash strapped Russian’s won’t consider the idea,
it seems that NASA might just make Bass’s out of this world dreams come
true. Space.com quoted a NASA spokesman as saying that the U.S. agency
wouldn't oppose the Bass trip, as long as he met all the medical and physical
requirements of the Space Station partners. Far be it from me to suggest
that NASA should consider sending legitimate passengers into space that
can contribute to our knowledge of the universe instead of even for a split
second thinking about a cheap gimmick like sending someone like Lance Bass
into space. In the name of all of those who died so that man could reach
out to the stars, I implore NASA to not give this absurd notion another
second of thought or consideration and use your veto power with the Space
Station partners if the Russians happen to drink too much Vodka one day
and grant Lance’s wish.
Disney Rock Cops.
I was flipping through the local “freebe”
newspaper, OC Weekly, a couple weeks ago and came across an article about
some strange tactics by the Anaheim Police Department at the House of Blues
club located at Disney’s Downtown area just a hop skip and a jump from
Disneyland. According to the article Anaheim’s finest have been sandbagging
concertgoers as they leave the music venue and arresting them for being
drunk in public. This is disturbing on a few levels. First, one of the
people interviewed for the article stated that the police approached him
as soon as he stepped out the door of the venue and when he answered the
police truthfully that he had been drinking, he was arrested on the spot.
Mind you, he had brought a designated driver along so he would have to
drink and drive but ended up going to jail for having a few beers at a
concert. An Anaheim Police Department spokesperson told the OC Weekly reporter
that they often patrol the venue after concerts at the request of the club.
So if we take this to it’s logical conclusion, The House of Blues knowingly
sells alcohol to their patrons and then arranges for them to be arrested
for drinking? Does this make sense? Sure if someone becomes drunk and unruly,
then the venue should call the police have the person arrested, but for
police to stand outside the venue to pick people at random as they leave
and then arrest them is another thing. Pretty soon people are going to
stop going to the club because of all the hassles and bands will refuse
to play there. But a bigger problem with this particular House of
Blues venue may be its location. If it wasn’t located in the heart of Disney,
it is doubtful that the police would waste their time hanging out arresting
concertgoers. The logic of putting a rock club into a Disney controlled
property has been tested in the past. One example was when Disney officials
forced the House of Blues to bill Nashville Pussy as Nashville P when they
played the club last year, according to members of the band. The bottom
line is that Rock n Roll and Disney don’t mix and these recent arrest just
proves the point once more. True the House of Blues chain of clubs offer
some great music venues but it appears that they idea of putting one into
Disney’s Downtown wasn’t such a great idea after all.
Fat Head, Red Hat, Delusions of Grandeur.
This final tidbit says less about the absurdity
of our society than the overblown ego of one of its superstars. Then again
this person being a star in the first place is pretty absurd.
After Limp Bizkit’s national guitar search
failed to yield results Fred Durst was ready with excuses that of course
attempted to paint the failure as a victory. Now here is where things get
to be absurd, Fred Durst says he is in no rush to find a new guitarist
because he wants the next Limp Bizkit record to be timeless. "The word
'timeless,' [means] music that you know can stand the test of time.” Fred
Durst told Launch Media as if explaining that circular means round. “People
who know what that means know that we're not making it right now...We want
to be able to touch people emotionally, a whole new set of people, a whole
new generation of people." Why is this absurd? Just listen to Limp Bizkit
and the even the notion that they could create music that will stand the
test of time after the current rap-rock fad dies is preposterous.
Someone needs to clue Fred into the fact that Limp Bizkit is the modern
answer to the Bay City Rollers. Hey if you like their music fine, listen
to it, enjoy it, make Fred rich. But don’t for a second think that anything
Limp Bizkit produces will stand the test of time aside from being the punch
line to a joke or being remembered as a youthful indiscretion of music
you liked when you were younger when you didn’t know any better. There
is absolutely nothing timeless about Limp Bizkit and that is their biggest
problem, that group epitomizes everything that is wrong with trend mongering
and fads in music.
So I ask you has the world gone crazy?
Has rock and popular music sunk to such a low that we can’t recover? Can
Limp Bizkit make timeless music? Should we be considering launching Boybands
into space (and returning them to earth)? Should Disney have anything to
do with a concert hall? Sound off in the fan speak section below with your
thoughts.
FAN
SPEAK: Agree or Disagree?
Fan
Speak:
Posted by bhang:
I'd like to see something about the implicit pedophilia in the disney corporation's metamorphises of its mousketeers-cum-pop stars like Britney, Justin and Christina from fresh faced, innocent kids into sexually explicit whores.
Posted by daddy:
send limp dic, the spiceboys, and the homodisneypigs all to ur anus.
Posted by stupid:
Ok... first of all, if that no talent ass-clown wants to go into outer space, let him. In fact, tell him to take his friends with him. Hell, why not send every f*cking boy band into outer space? That way, their horrible sound will be as far away from my ears as possible. Who knows, maybe they will blow up or something and never come back.
I think Fred should just give up. Wes was the best damn guitar player he will ever see.
Posted by Justanothervictim:
You know if Lance does go into space, maybe he'll come back with an alien virus in him. THen he'll kill the other N'Stinkers and he'll be eliminated by SWAT teams.
And all will be well. Fred Durst obvoiusly is lying. He misses Wes and they REALLY need a new guitarist. Limp needs to make an album like they did with Significant Other or Three Dollar Bill Ya'll, not that Starfish crap. If not, put him against Jonathan Davis on "Celebrity Boxing 2".
Posted by *Nsh*t SUCKS:
ok the supposedly "band" known by many as *Nsuck, Nsh*t or Nf*ck is the worse excuse for music since...any other boy "band" or rap "star" appeared on our current "music" scene.I say metal rules and will live forever as the best type of musac. and those gay a$$ "singers" who go up in space? F*CK them
Posted by LadyMuck:
SMIC, you are one funny son-of-a-bitch!
Posted by SMIC:
Well I made a topic on this on the board without reading this but I will restate it is an absolutley ludicrous idea... science has gone awry... imagine this headline "JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE TO BE SUBJECT OF HUMAN CLONING EXPERIEMT" (story to follow something like this) N'Sync's Justin Timberlake is seeking to upsatge his bandmate Lance in the advancement of science. While Lance id fullfilling his dream of being blast into space Timberlake says "My goals are not as selfist as Lance's he is fulfilling his own dream I am fulfilling the dream of 12 year old girls world wide" The experiment if sucessful could yield hundreds of Timberlake clones. The Walt Disney corporation has expressed interest in sponsoring the necessary research... says a chief Disney executive "imagine the possibility of staffing out theme parks exclusively with Justin Timberlakes, the markeing potential is endless" Concerns however have been voiced by humanitarian groups concerned about the potential of errant Timberlake clones being exploited in the child sex trade. Negotions are currently in place between Disney to provide funding and Tyson Chicken Produts Inc. to provide the scientific development... says a chief Tyson Scientist "If we can clone Sheep certainly we can clone boybands, they are essentially similar enteties" .... Tyson is said to be in contract for a Timberlake breeding facility somewhere in Western Pennsylvania.
REALLY IT COULD HAPPEN
Posted by sean:
why not send every boy bands to space and relive the challenger of 86. as for limp's timeless crap, i would like to see that since his music is already a joke and his 15 minutes of fame are up,i was wondering..why didnt fred take over guitar when wes left the band?? wait a minute i forget he has no talent.
Posted by Monson:
I was reading these and was offended that Alicia Keys, although not in my listening range, was grouped with talentless hacks. Think again. She is actually what's right with the music industry. As for Fred, He knows what he's doing, so let him do it. If you do like it tough. Wait until he spews out the "timeless" record before we degrade it to "not worth the time." Wes was the only reason I would have listened to Limp Bizkit. Wes, thank you for leaving, I have so much more respect for you. Fred Durst just needs to lay low for 2-3 years, and get out of the "mansion."
Posted by me:
Personally, I was hoping a "ten year old girl" would turn up in limp bizkit's pathetic little quest for someone to replace Wes. For one thing, there isn't any replacing Wes. Another thing.... maybe we SHOULD just pack all boybands in a shuttle and launch them outta here.
Posted by Spike:
If they actually send boybands into space maybe they could die up there. I always knew the queers that made up those f*cked-up boy bands were space monkeys. Well, maybe the space monkeys are smarter! Wes is a f*cking legend. I use to be a BIG fan of Limp until Wes quit. Oh yeah bluemonday you need to shut the hell up about Fred Durst he could probably bust more rhymes than you could in a second! And stop bragging about your non
existant dick!
Posted by Spike:
If they actually send boybands into space maybe they could die up there. I always knew the queers that made up those f*cked-up boy bands were space monkeys. Well, maybe the space monkeys are smarter! Hey bluemonday you can diss Fred just don't be dissing Wes. Wes is a f*cking legend. I use to be a BIG fan of Limp until Wes quit. Oh yeah bluemonday you need to shut the hell up about Fred Durst he could probably bust more rhymes than you could in a second! And stop bragging about your non
existant dick!
Posted by intelligent:
fred durst reminds me of elmer fudd, except that elmer had a better vocabulary. fred get a clue and some talent with all the money you've made.
Posted by Josh:
What does the director have to do with the orginality of the story? Directors in general just make the movie, not the story, and Ron Howard is an orginal director.
Posted by bluemonday:
the truth hurts, doesn't it
Posted by plz:
bluemonday shut up
Posted by bluemonday:
I don't care. Fred Durst still has no value in my eyes. He can do what he likes with "timelessness" but it's all bullsh*t. Limp Bizkit has less talent than my nonexistant dick.
Posted by pick:
Funny that you mention Ronnie Howard, RWS; he is the directing equivalent of Puff Daddy. Howard has never directed an original movie; all of his flicks are based on a book or real-life event.
Posted by Runs With Scissors:
C: Maybe they should launch Lance into space. It's not like anyone's trying to kill him down here. Maybe some mishap will happen up there. Anything to threaten that groups continued existance is OK in my book.
Posted by Runs With Scissors:
B: Disney is evil. They're slippin up with making all these new sequels and it'll help bite them in the ass in the end. Eventually people will catch on to how evil they truely are; like when people finally got communism.
Posted by Runs With Scissors:
A: Fred Durst is smarter than most people think. Most likely he'll try one or two more stabs at "timelessness" and get deeper into his lable and producing. Hell, Ron Howard knew when to throw in the towel and get into directing. That's the road Fred will take.
Posted by bluemonday:
Looking at the stories described above, I suddenly feel as if today's already sickening society has somehow managed to corrupt me even more. What's the next thing? Is Lou Pearlman or Interscope Records or someone going to summon up a nice 21st-century version/reconstruction of the black plague, wiping out all good musicians in order to market their latest brainwasher, a new and modernized Partridge Family? Kill me now, damnit.
Posted by Nag:
Funny how you mention Disney. I was watching a show on Time Square, and it's "revial" as of late. Disney made damn sure to kick all the porn shops withing miles out of buisness. Disney is an economic Alexander the Great, and will not rest til every media outlet bows before the mighty mouse ears, well unless Viacom gets there first. Can Limp Bizkit make timeless music? HELL NO. In ten years Fred Durst and compnay will be lucky to land gigs at PTA fundrasiers
. Hell Jani Lane from Warrart was just up the street from me playing a similar gig in a 50 seat club. I will be sure to piss in Fred's beer when he is playing in that same club.
Posted by 1984:
Limp Bizkit will only be remebered as the music for movie previews.
Posted by Dreamy Rover:
I say, put the whole crappy boy band into space, throw in idiots like JA RULE, PEE DIDDY, KID ROCK, MISSY ELLIOTT, J LO, CHRISTINA, PINK, ALICIA KEYS, LIMP BIZKIT, BRITNEY, MADONNA, MARIAH CAREY, SLIPKNOT, EMINEM, WESTLIFE, BSB etc etc on a shuttle & throw 'em off into space, away from our planet. And never bring 'em back. Now let's play FADE TO BLACK by Metallica on the jukebox
Posted by KaserDaddy:
fred durst needs to burn in hell..just read this article:
http://www.metal-sludge.com/LimpBizkitAudition.htm
Hes stealing peoples original material!
Posted by rocky racoon.:
1) i think sending tourists into space is a great idea, for one thing it helps with raising money to fund the flights, the fact that its a memeber of a band that people on this site doesnt like is proberly irrelevent.2)nothing to say about this one 3) I dont see the big problem here, Fred knows that the music he is making like you said isnt timeless, but why write someone of by saying that they will never make timeless music, Fred has said in interviews that he wants to make music with more depth and with a more positive slant in the way of lyrics. Who knows he may be able to pull it of in the next album
Posted by pick:
First of all, I think NASA is a huge waste of money. As a compassionate conservative I would much rather see the money pumped into social programs and social security. However, putting an ass-clown like Lance Bass into space is fodder for the fire of people who hate boybands. Second, don't mess with Disney. They've got enough cash to do as they please. Lastly, Mr. Durst needs to do a true self-examination. He should ask himself, "Am I really liked? Do people actually want me to release another album full of lyrics comparable to what a third grader could write?" Sorry Fred, you're out in the cold on this one.