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Metal Heads Vs Emo Crybabies

08/30/07
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(antiMusic) There is a river of mascara stained tears in the UK this week as emo fans have their panties in a wad over a metal band's win at a awards ceremony for a teen music magazine. The emo girls are upset too.

Metal band Machine Head pulled out a win for Best Album as last Thursday's Kerrang! Awards and emo fans are throwing a tizzy fit that they beat out their pin-up boy favorites. Machine Head's camp issued this statement on their website about the controversy: Machine Head’s ‘Best Album’ win at last Thursday’s Kerrang! Awards over pop-rock powerhouses My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy has apparently cut deep with fans of both bands, prompting a flood of angry whining and sad-faced emoticons on the Kerrang! message boards.

Machine Head’s upset victory over the multi-platinum softcore acts sent their inherently sensitive fans into an emotional frenzy, building into a tizzy of unparalleled proportions. Wrought with dismay, polished fingernails the world over lashed out at the band and metal as a whole with diatribes the likes of “MCR really should have won!!! I’m mad now!!!!,” “what a load of sh*t, who the f*ck listens to them?” and “Stupid Machine Head!!,” at times stooping so low as to say the competition was fixed, and often gravely endangering the integrity of their carefully sideswept hair with posts like “I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL, I H8 METAL.

"Not surprisingly, MACHINE HEAD fans responded en masse to the tirades, lashing back in defense of the band and the undisputed quality of the album, citing critical praise, technicality, songwriting and fan response to 2007's 'The Blackening', as well as the band's influence on and history within their genre, with the occasional 'MACHINE HEAD piss all over anything MCR have ever done" thrown in for good measure.

"To much less Internet-based commotion, the band also took home the 'Hard Rock Hero' award, netting them two Kerrang! awards for the first time since 'Burn My Eyes' where they received 'Best International Band' and 'Best Video' for 'Davidian'."

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