Hi. I'm Morley and I'm an adulterer.

(crowd response) Hi Morley.

I've been having an affair. In fact two. At the same time. (crowd sucks in their collective breath) It all started when I got the debut CD from The Sugar Dames. From the first few notes I was helpless to do anything but yield to their hypnotizing sounds. Really, this is hardly my fault. The CD should have come with a warning sticker indicating its potential effect on the male persuasion (probably a number of females as well…)

Anyway, it started as soon as I heard the alluring voices of Christina Elen and Jenn Palmer. I played the record straight through about five times when I first heard it, absolutely glued to the speakers. You have to hear it to know what I'm talking about. Soon, I was blowing off appointments and ducking household responsibilities to feed my cravings. Cut the grass? Dinner at the in-laws? Fix the sink? All those took a back seat to stealing away and crawling into the world of The Sugar Dames. It's begun to have a rather nasty effect on my life. "Where's Dad?", is a familiar phrase from the kids. I've had to take several "personal days" from work. I don't know if the boss suspects yet.

My wife has begun to get suspicious and I don't know how long I can keep up this affair. Twice last week, she asked if I was coming to bed and I said I was catching up on my paper work and would be in shortly. Twenty minutes later, she opened up my office door and found me reclined in my over-sized office chair, feet up, eyes closed and a smile on my face, and all the while The Dames were doing their thing. "What are you doing?" my wife demanded. Startled, I flew forward and began typing madly. "Uhhhhhhhh, just a CD review," I stammered. She narrowed her eyes and spun on her heels.

OK, I have to own up to the fact that this isn't a physical relationship I'm having. No, this tryst is more along the lines of mental adultery. I have never met The Dames but the thoughts….oh the thoughts! I've tried breaking it off but these ladies are relentless. I sit there and try to listen to oh, AC/DC or something --- anything --- but the Dames CD just sits there glowing with a subtle red light. It doesn't have to do anything. It knows. I shoot glances at it from across the room. "Not today" I say. "Just one song," it seems to say. "How about "The Waiting Room"?" "Leave me alone," I respond. "What did you say?" asks my wife from the other room. "Nothing," I snap. "C'mon dear friend", just one song" taunts the CD. I sigh, knowing that submission is my only alternative and finally give into temptation.

I'm getting better however. I only played the CD 10 times yesterday. (crowd applause) I know I have to break this off. It's only the right thing to do. I mean, I have a family. I have a life. Anyway, that's my story.

Moderator: Let's all thank Morley for sharing.
Crowd: Thank you Morley.

* * * * * *

Although I was reluctant to go public, I had to make this transcript part of the review in order to adequately relate my feelings about this CD.

I admit it. I don't do happy. At least not well. I'll leave the Shiny Happy People-isms of the music world for the masses. For my tuneage, I like a bit…no, make that a lot of moody. Slow and moody. And if you can add some sexy to it (female, that is), you've really got my attention.

Well, you can imagine my antennae firing off bursts of approval when I stumbled across the debut CD from The Sugar Dames. Talk about sexy. These girls could get a positive reaction from a wilted dandelion or force Elton John to re-think things.

But this is not your obvious uber sexiness like Tatu or kitschy "I Kissed A Girl" material. And while there is a sort of a vintage '30s or '40s jazz / cabaret vibe about the whole affair, neither is it a Miss Kitty / Mae West / Jessica Rabbit, hip-swirling, saloon-fostered, come-hither-ness. Rather, this sexiness comes from two exotic creatures that don't have to work it to garner a response. Their music exudes a cool-as-ice veneer that seems as natural to them as breathing.

The Sugar Dames are Jenn Palmer and Christina Elen, two goddesses that individually have voices that are head-turning. Together, they are irresistible. Fuelling the ambiance for the project is a sound that is not unlike a medically prescribed relaxed state. Think Portishead as a starting point and add a Reeses or Rolo & Kaluha slow-melting coating for a warmer or more delectable palate-pleaser.

One caveat should be mentioned off the top; this is not party music. If you're looking for a soundtrack to your next patio fiesta, look elsewhere. If you're alone, however (or possibly with a special someone, doing whatever compels you ), then this is perfect medicine for a broken heart, associating with a prospective new flame or just indulging in some me-time.

Sirens of the Broken Heart is a mini CD with eight tracks of several originals and one cover. Jenn and Christina wrote all the material (two songs are co-written), played most of the instruments, did the string arrangements, and produced or co-produced all the songs.

The CD opens with one of the two best tracks, "I Just Need an Angel" and the first few notes of this delectable slab of sweetness were all I needed to fall hard. The Dames alternate leads throughout their songs and for this one, Jenn takes the intro and choruses while Christina tackles the verses. The sparse instrumentation is key to the overall effect, except towards the end where a majestic electronic string section sets it off perfectly. Imagine floating on a water mattress in a pool one warm summer night under a blanket of starry skies. This song is simply intoxicating.

Christina's seductive vocals power "She Wore Red", augmented by sultry Jenn in the background. Awesome arrangements and production on this cut which sounds like it could have been perfect for an early James Bond movie like Thunderball. The sleepy "Run" is like tip-toeing across a floor of pure marshmallow (don't know what that means but it somehow fits). Once again, excellent production on this song with different elements like a laid-back string section and different keyboard/guitar which sound like pedal-steel and then crystalline lunar frequencies.

"Wound" is a monster of a cut with just a hint of Nashville twang and some of the most emotive vocals from the ladies. The music ebbs and flows going from an almost timid piano intro to a glorious string section wall of sound in the middle. Never has melancholy felt so good.

A feast for the ears is what we get with "The Greatest Show on Earth". Part of the joy is the vocals of both of the ladies and, the other is, again, the fantastic instrumentation and production. This is one of the more uptempo cuts on the record and it rounds things out nicely.

"The Waiting Room" is the other jewel on this 24k place setting. Good god, kill me now and I'd be happy after hearing this song. Absolutely rapturous in its beauty, both the Dames alternate verses and they positively shine brightest right here. The verses are stellar and the chorus is like a knife through the heart --- breathtaking. The twangy guitar deserves a gold star as well as the rest of the outstanding production.

The only cover on the record is an inspired version of Sonny & Cher's "Bang Bang" but it sounds more like the Nancy Sinatra rendition. I keep talking about the instrumentation throughout this review and it's for good reason. These ladies know their stuff. On this song, the wistful vocals are offset by the bursts of fuzzed-out electric guitar that snake throughout, giving it a perfect balance and fuelling the song with just a hint of danger.

The record closes out with the paint-it-red seductiveness of "Enough For You". Like most of the record, this cut is laid back as though the ladies know they don't have to try hard to get your attention. Simple…..and effective.