The Orange Bowl, a chorus of boos directed at Ashley Simpson that drowned out any for a negative call made by a ref that way against either team.  The ‘Poison’ of reality TV stars, there is an interesting parallel between the hair metal of the later 1980s and Ashley Simpson in context of saturation- wherein carbon copies have gone into their third or fourth generation in a matter of only a few short years, and are finally starting to taper out.  It happened between 1987 and 1991 as Poison degenerated into Warrant who deteriorated even further into the likes of Ugly Kid Joe and Trixter before dying out completely.  Its happening again in 2005- though it began in the very late 1990s with the dawn of Britney Spears, N’synch and the protools-generated pop star, degenerated from there to Reality-TV launched pop stars like Jessica Simpson, and finally has bottomed out with Ashley Simpson, who was pitched via her show as an “Alternative” Jessica, a pop star with an indie edge along the lines of Pink, who ironically CAN SING, successfully sold herself commercially as an alternative to Britney by being just that, the antithesis.  In the case of Ashley Simpson, this is a second-generation sales gimmick, with a B-List star who possesses almost no natural singing or songwriting ability whatsoever, whose first demos were rejected by Geffen Records ON HER SHOW to back up that fact.  Saturday Night Live only served to confirm this fact.  The Orange Bowl was just the public finally lashing back!  No one is suggesting that Ashley doesn’t think she can sing, most likely because her sister actually does possess the basic qualities of an A-list pop star which Ashley has been convinced she’s inhereted.  Her father is her manager, so there’s almost no objectivity going on there, only Yes-men surrounding this example of why pop music is desperately crying out for its next revolution.  Hopefully that revolution will crush Ashley Simpson and all the Lindsay Lohans and Hilary Duffs like her into some kind of permanent oblivion- a strange, akward phase pop music went through at the turn of its next century that we excuse like we did the continued existence of outhouses in the early 1900s before toilets were available widespread in the 1920s in both urban and rural areas.  Thankfully, today we have high-speed toilets available to flush crap like Ashley Simpson’s record and existence as a pop star right down into the sewer where they belong.  Milli Vanilli had more credibility as showmen!  They won a Grammy, and had the decency to give it back when it was shown they didn’t actually perform their own music on record.  How is Ashley Simpson any different when Protools features like autotune and pitch correction exist to hide the fraud Simpson’s voice would otherwise be exposed as to A&R men who then would have stopped the tragedy of her pop scorge before it occured.

Its time, and all the signs are clear- pointing us to the trash dump where Ashley Simpson- as a performer- and all like her belong! I wish I was a major label or a millionaire so I could underwrite one of those radio campaigns where you can bring down your copy of a protested album, and turn it in for a refund of your money or a credit of equal value toward another artist...  At least her sister Jessica is HOT, and Britney has a dope, DOPE body!  What does Ashley have physically to compensate for her lackluster voice?  Not much as far as I can see.  I know its superficial and somewhat cruel on the surface to point this out, but its valid in context of the role looks typically play in commercially breaking pop stars who can’t naturally carry a tune.  Thankfully for Ashley Simpson, she’s only 20, she’s made some money, and her career appears to be heading toward the doom it has earned and naturally deserves, so she has plenty of time to choose another career.  From her reality show, she doesn’t look very bright, and isn’t cute about that part of her personality the way Jessica is, so who knows what else she can do?  At least we all have that in common- desepration.  Rolling Stone Magazine rated her debut album, ‘Autobiography’ a lackluster 2 stars out of 5, and pointed out that “the music's (a) mundane melange of Avril-ish brat pop and Sheryl Crow cod rock reaches its nadir (or lowest point) on ‘Love Me For Me.’ ”  No thanks Ashley!  For the public at large, she’s playing on our last nerve- because nobody gives a shit what music is playing at a football game, they usually ALWAYS cheer no matter who it is!  You know it must have sucked for Ashley Simpson to inspire such a thunderous BOO!  Let’s all do it collectively, BOOOO!!!!!!  Now maybe Simpson, for once, will hear the music, smell what she’s singing, and start stepping out of the pop music game forever, for the sake of us all, and herself!
 
 

Shameless Plug: “Dust N’ Bones: The Untold Story of Izzy Stradlin” is now available for Pre-order.  The one and only book on Guns N’ Roses legendary rhythm guitar player and songwriter, this biography is a must-have for any GnR fan!  Please visit www.blackmarketpublishing.com for more details!

About the author: Jake Brown is owner/operator of Nashville-based Versailles Records and a biographer who has published several books. Click here to more details. 
 

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Fan Speak:

Posted by Heather:
Jake, from reading this my first thought was you were definitely a teenage girl. Why a grown man cares enough to write an extensive & dull article about this, I do not know. Except that you may secretly be jealous and wish you were an untalented teenage girl with millions in the bank? I’m not even a fan of Ashley Simpson!