Jealous Haters Since 1998!
Home | News | Reviews | Day In Rock | Photos | RockNewsWire | antiTainment Wire | Feeds
Why Hasn’t K-Fed Been Put On A Banned Substances List Yet???
(Kevin Federline Proves Satan Has a New Incarnation in Pop Music on Teen People’s Choice Debut)

Disclaimer: the opinions expressed are those of the author, not necessarily those of antiMUSIC, or the iconoclast entertainment group

He prowled the stage like a terrorist holding an Uzi, holding his audience captors, rather than captive. Kevin Federline’s comedy act at the conclusion of Sunday night’s Teen People’s Choice Awards was the equivalent of being grounded and forced to watch some Televangelist show with your grandparents on a Saturday night at BEST, and at worst, felt like a horror film where you’re shrunk to the size of a gnat, stuck in the bottom of a toilet bowl being crapped upon and then flushed away into a sea of sewage. It was fucking suffocating! I don’t know who K-Fed’s wife had to grease to get that loser a spot on NATIONAL TELEVISION, but whatever it cost her, she would have been better to have paid K-Fed off with it NOT to perform. He could have put the money toward paying his MASSIVE monthly child support bill that I’m sure Britney usually foots. This guy is like an UNCOOL Bobby Brown. Bobby Brown mooches off Whitney as shamelessly as K-FED, but he does so with some style, and at least is MAN ENOUGH to own up to it! Shit, he made a hit reality show off of it! All K-FED and Britney Spears’ reality show did was to establish them as America’s first rich WHITE TRASH POP COUPLE! This douche-bag made Vanilla Ice look like Eminem last night. From a technical vantage point, he had no rhyme skills in terms of word match-ups, no synchopation in his rhyme timing, nothing original to say substantitively, his voice had NO BUSINESS riding over a rap beat, and the beat itself was WACK! The only TALENT on the stage came from his back-up dancers. 

That’s exactly what this hack emcee used to be, and where he should have stayed. He’s a fucking clown, and if last night didn’t put the final nail in this hack’s commercial coffin, I don’t know what will. Moreover, BRITNEY SPEARS’ managers and agents and label reps have to ALL be going NUTS right now about what this does to further erode her already damaged image. Her greatest hits album barely went platinum, and her child endangerment driving episodes in the tabloids haven’t helped either. Even her most ardent supporters and fans have to be scratching their heads right now wondering how in the world she feels this is helpful to the overall well-being of her family’s financial security when she is the sole bread-winner for her children, and that reality doesn’t look to be changing for the next 20+ years to come until her kids are grown. Sure, Britney’s rich as shit, with a reported net worth of upward of $100 Million Dollars, but who knows how much of that K-FED will blow on failure after failure to buy his way into stardom over the next few years. The next money Britney spends on K-FED should be for a therapist who can help him sort through whatever acceptance issues he has psychologically so that he can eventually see he’s only doing further damage to that already fragile insecurity by continuing to put himself in situations where the public will judge him as harshly as his lack of talent commands and demands. It may take years, but it would spare everyone- from Britney in terms of further embarrassment and humiliation to the public getting an already-much needed break from ever having to be tortured by this talentless hack clown Iowa home-boy’s horrid attempts at rapping. 

We have an obligation as good pop culture Samaritans to put this joker out of business once and for all! So PLEASE, PLEASE if you’re a parent and your 12-year-old daughter thinks this guy is hot and listens to, tell her he’s someone the nasty old couple across the street have sex to! Guys, tell your girlfriend you’ll start going to strip clubs instead of sports bars with the guys on Boys Night Out if she doesn’t delete this jack ass’s MP3s from the IPOD. I can’t think of a more useless figure in pop culture since Paris Hilton, and at least she’s hot enough to tolerate watching in a video. I can’t think of a SINGLE redeeming thing to say about this schmuck… I mean, he couldn’t even get a record deal with an INDIE label to release his new album, so he decided to take the ‘Fuck it, I’mma do it myself’ line that rappers claim when no major label considers them viable enough to put money behind releasing a new album. At least in those cases, the rapper has already had a career, this clown is working in reverse of that, finishing before he even starts. That’s honestly the best thing that could happen to all of us, so I hope he loses enough of Britney’s dough pressing and promoting this thing on his own that she gets fed up and cuts up his credit cards. It was truly surreal watching this freak show performance, and if you want further evidence to validate the aforementioned, go to this link and see for yourself. I’m confident you’ll arrive at the only possible conclusion there is to reach over the question of whether K-FED has ANY SHOT at stardom as a rap star: a resounding HELL NO!!! I know I have a habit historically in this column of ripping on WHITE wanna-be rappers, but anything I have said about Fred Durst, Chop on the King of Cars, Paul Wall- I take all of it back in context of how far back this jack ass set white emcees Sunday night. After the show, he told People magazine that “(Britney) was happy, she was proud…We went straight from there and jumped in the Ferrari and took off.” I wouldn’t wish this with a pregnant Britney Spears in his car, but its too bad she wasn’t dropped off, then that K-Fed hadn’t taken off and plowed his car into a wall or something to put us all out of his misery! It sounds tragic, but not as much so as his performance Sunday. 
 
 

Shameless Plug: On August 8th, 2006, Versailles Records released ‘Three Lock Box: A Millennium Tribute to Sammy Hagar’, featuring current/former members of Hanoi Rocks, Skid Row, Lillian Axe, Dio, Saigon Kick, Zebra, Richard Kendrick, Randy Cantor, the RadioVipers, One Bad Son, Marko Pukkila, Chris Catena, Chris Heaven, the Slashtones, and others!!! To learn more, visit www.versaillesrecords.com 

About the author: Jake Brown is owner/operator of Nashville-based Versailles Records and a biographer who has published several books. Click here to more details
 

Agree or Disagree? 


Username
Password
Your Rant or Rave:

register | forgot your password?

Fan Speak:






.
.
News Reports
.
Day in Rock:
Chickenfoot The Movie- Alice In Chains 2010 Tour Plans- Nickelback, Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown Team Up For Tour- Bonnaroo- Green Day Revamp and more

Yesterday's Report: 11/19: Aerosmith Members Fear Tyler May Be Back On Drugs- Bon Jovi Back On Top- Live Daughtry Webcast Tonight- Metallica Add to 2010 World Tour Plans and more

 Subscribe To Day in Rock

Quicks: Ringo, McCartney Duet- Fall Out Boy on Hiatus- Slash N' Adler Jam- The Analyst Guitarist Injured In Fall- Oscars Snub Anvil- Interpol Eye 2010 Release and more

Day in Pop 11/20: Taylor Swift Vs Bar- John Mayer To Beat Bon Jovi- Oprah Show No More- Susan Boyle Sets Record- Morrissey Vs Fan- Alicia Keys- Jay-Z and more


Your Ad Here for Just $10
.
 
Reviews
.

Road Trip: Ireland

Rock Reads: Bruce Springsteen: The Light in Darkness

SwampDaWamp - Rock This Country

Keith Urban Live in Chicago Nov 2009

The Official Heavy Metal Book of Lists

Megadeth Live

Hot In The City: Age of Evil, Triple Double Band, blessthefall and The Word Alive

On The Record: New Tales to Tell---A Tribute to Love & Rockets- Wax Tailor

The Fall Of Troy - In The Unlikely Event

Rammstein - Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da

KISS Live in Chicago Nov 2009

Creedence Clearwater Revival - The Singles Collection

Kelly Clarkson Live October 2009

Pithy Reviews: Karen O and the Kids (Where the Wild Things Are Soundtrack), Lita Ford, Everclear, Beatallica, Livan, State Radio, and the Riverwinds

Death Row Rarities: Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg

Bon Jovi - The Circle


.
.
.

Search for Tickets

Or Browse For Tickets

.
.
Today's News
.

Chickenfoot The Movie

Alice In Chains 2010 Tour Plans

Nickelback, Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown Team Up For Tour

Ringo, McCartney Duet- Fall Out Boy on Hiatus- Slash N' Adler Jam- The Analyst Guitarist Injured In Fall- Oscars Snub Anvil- Interpol Eye 2010 Release and more

Green Day Revamp 21 Guns With Idiot Musical Guests

Bonnaroo 2010

Bruce Kulick Taps Members Of KISS, The Knack, Motley Crue For New Album

Smile Empty Soul Announce Headlining Tour With Burn Halo (Ex-Eighteen Visions) & The Last Vegas

Metallica Member Quits- Slayer Blamed for Teen Slaying- High Schooler Threatens To Kill Rocker- Guns N' Roses Return- Ozzy Sitcom and more top stories from 2001

Nils Lofgren Discusses Springsteen Tour Finale

Crash Kings Hitting The Road With Rooney

The Devil Wears Prada Kick Off Napalm & Noise Tour

Warner Bros. Whip Up Some Deluxe Devo for the Holidays

Never Shout Never Acoustic Tour

Daryl Hall, John Oates and Cleveland

Cavo Winning Fans on Radio and on Tour with Daughtry

2009 Taco Bell Feed The Beat Program Winners Are Announce

Nebula Mini Tour

Wesley Willis DVD Set For Release

The Shambles Announce Free Release Party

Taylor Swift Vs Bar- John Mayer To Beat Bon Jovi- Oprah Show No More- Susan Boyle Sets Record- Morrissey Vs Fan and more

Alicia Keys Calls Fan To Digital Action

Idle Warship (Talib Kweli, Res & Graph Nobel) Offer Up Mixtape

Turkey, Football and Motown for Thanksgiving

Jay-Z Platinum State Of Mind

Two Brand New Black Sheep Projects Coming Soon

Eric Hutchinson EP Coming

Susan Boyle To Take Over Rockefeller Plaza

David Guetta Cleans Up For First U.S. Hit

Barry Harris Remixes Billie Myers

Charlie Alex March Set February Release

More News

Subscribe to Day in Rock Report by Email

.
 
Day in Rockers
. Sites that feature the Day in Rock

94WYSP PhillyKFLY Real Rock97.9 WCPR Biloxi107thebone.fmX92.5 FM Maui100.1 The EdgeRock 105.994.7 The End96.3 The Blaze104.9 The WolfKROQWTOS Pure Rock!trakkrz.com

.
 
anti Worthy Links
.
The Screen DoorLloyd Zeffler blogGary GonzoLonn FriendTalking MetalNightwatcher's House of RockCJ Chilvers: passionate music journalist and photographerDeja Voodoothecopycat.bizKeavin.comantiMusic Myspace

.
 
Merch
.

Posters and Rock T-Shirts!



 

Tell a Friend about this page - Contact Us - Privacy - antiMusic Email - Job Postings - Advertising

Copyright© 1998 - 2009 Iconoclast Entertainment Group All rights reserved. antiMusic works on a free link policy for reprinting of our original articles, click here for details. Please click here for legal restrictions and terms of use applicable to this site. Use of this site signifies your agreement to the terms of use.