antiGUY gives his
top 5 list of music stuff. Could be songs, people, a stupid trend... nothing
is sacred to antiGUY
Disclaimer for the dense
(a.k.a. those who don’t know the difference between the words accept and
except or mass and vast), these lists are meant to be stupid! If
you don’t get the humor (or lack thereof), that’s fine but bitching about
it isn’t gonna change things or make these lists out to be something they
aren’t (profound, meaningful etc). These are simply silly distractions.
Have a nice day =) aG
Missy Elliot’s
Top 5 Rhymes.
It amazes me that I still get hate mail
for a rant I wrote over a year ago about Missy Elliot. In that rant I poked
fun at her literacy and rhyming ability, which is pretty much none existent
on both counts on the “music” I have heard from her. Call me old fashioned
or crazy but I don’t count using the same exact word as rhyming.
I'm not a rap fan but I can respect rappers
who have the ability to weave together complicated rhymes. It is a skill,
I won't deny that. However, in my exposure to Missy's music, I have never
seen that skill demonstrated. To me she comes off as a third rate hack.
In the hate mails that I could decipher
(most were so poorly written and utterly lacking in literacy that they
were unintelligible), her fans insist that I missed the point entirely
and that Missy is a musical innovator. Maybe I did miss the point?
Maybe I just don’t get it? Taking that point of view, I have to gather
that not really rhyming all the time may be her way of being innovative.
Maybe she has a deep philosophical message to her music and that’s why
people excuse her lack of putting two different sounding words
together?
So I decided to take another look at Missy’s
“work”, to search for the innovation and the deep meaning. I wanted to
find where she has moved music forward to a new level. Her beats may be
“tight” as some claim but you can credit the drum machine manufacturer
not Ms. Elliot.
So the following Top 5 list features just
a few examples of Missy Elliot’s rhymes that I came across in my quest
to give her another chance.
Missy Elliot’s
Top 5 Rhymes.
5) Jeans / Jeans (from her new
Gap commercial with Madonna)
4) It / it / it / ya
3) Ay yo yo yoyo yoyoyoyo / Ay yo
yo yoyo yoyoyoyo
2) Table / Paper
1) so – so / Yo – Yo and dee – low
/ uh – huh / uh – huh / uh – huh / uh – huh
Innovative? Perhaps you can see it that
way if you’re on crack. I still don’t get how she is brilliant or an innovator.
Maybe rapping at a 2nd grade level is innovative. Or perhaps music has
degraded to such a point that people like Missy are considered “innovative”
and “genius”, which is really an insult to real innovators and geniuses.
The mystery still abounds.
I gave it a second chance and if anything
my findings strengthened my earlier opinions. But then again, maybe I still
miss Missy’s “genius”. In the end, who the hell cares? I will continue
to be a "hater", that just doesn't get it. And that's fine by me.
Your
turn, what do you think? This is your chance to explain how Missy is a
genius.
Fan
Speak:
Posted by Mr. Doctor:
Missy Elliot old school dont make me laugh. If she can rap im a monkeys uncle. I can tell that no one here has ever heard any good rap because missy has got the lamest rhymes ive ever heard. In fact all the mainstream rap that mtv feeds y'all sucks and IMHO discredits all old school rappers
Posted by ??:
she's a role model for showing how to get ignorant fools to buy "music" made by an ignorant fool.
Posted by allofnothing:
'Shes a good role model and I look up to her.. '.....how?how?how?
Posted by Mc Kacie:
I like Missy Elliot b/c she has her own style and I love that she can write a ryhme in a few minutes. Shes a good role model and I look up to her..
Posted by Ph.D Musicology:
programming is NOT composing. next I will hear your little rap clique is a musical conservatory. rap is an "i can't sing so i'll talk" form of "music", it involves little to no skill, talent, and zero musicianship...why is it popular then? because it is simple, people do not have to think much (at all), all they listen to is the beat and for which words rhyme. You listen to a mozart composition and you say "this is gay" or "this sucks it's boring" because you are not listening to the MUSIC your listening to words, digital beats and nonsense...same thing with pop music, it's POPular because it's simple..bubblegum garbage people eat up by the spoonful.
Posted by aG:
Max, sorry for the delay. We've got a new one ready to roll. It's actually a guest Top 5 for Halloween. I'd expect that to be up any day now.
Posted by Max:
yo aG this is funny and all but it's it time for a new Top 5 list? This one's been up for a while now.
Posted by Monarch:
'Maybe her rhyme doesn't rhyme' Well, if it doesn't rhyme, then why would it be called a 'rhyme'? I certainly hope you realize how incredibly stupid that sentence is. Rap is about rhyming. If it doesn't rhyme, then how is it any different from just talking? Sure, it may 'flow' with the music, but that's not too hard to accomplish. Although personally I'm hard-pressed to call rap music, and rappers musicians, I am open-minded to the idea that music can be manifested in different ways, regardless of intricacy. I'll grant them the title of musicians, though not happily. This is NOT to say that they have in anyway, a little thing called TALENT. I play a guitar. I am a musician. I suck at playing said guitar. I have no talent. 2 distinct ideas.
Posted by Monarch:
Music is important to me. I've been listening to metal for about 4 years, and already I have developed a certain taste. Metal bands that focus on music first, lyrics second, and image last make a good impression in my eyes. [or should I say ears?] Listening to bands like Cannibal Corpse and Cradle of Filth has developped a 'callus' of sorts toward screaming and growling, so when I listen to metal, I look for good guitar riffs, solos, kickass drum tricks and the such. I don't really pay attention to the vocals, and rarely do I even understand the lyrics. With rap, it's the total opposite. You have to listen to the lyrics, and to an extent, the vocals. The music is just a 10 second loop. That's the first turn off for me. I'm used to listening to the music. Now, the lyrics, which are the 'main attraction' so to say, are rarely entertaining or significant. I honestly don't understand the point to rap.
Posted by Monarch:
The other day, I was so fukking stoned and drunk. Or was I just drunk? I can't really remember. I was pretty fukked up. I had like 2 shots of vodka and some screwdriver-type drinks. Anyway, my best friend is a hip-hop buff. He's all into it and has actually started to write his own rhymes. He even downloaded some software to create 'beats' so he could rap to them. Well, we were in the aforementioned state of drunkenness when he decided to start making beats. So I helped him. Just so you know, I don't know a damn thing about rap or hip-hop, or whatever the fukk you wanna call it. Regardless, I was making 'music' with this program. I can honestly say what we both came up with was pretty damn close to what you hear on the radio. 2 drunk dudes, a 'rapper' and a 'rocker' were making similar 'beats' to what plays on the radio. What does that tell you about the difficulty of making 'beats'?
Posted by DeadSun:
"Programming = Composing". NO. In fact, if you are trying to make an "equation", the two things which you are trying to "equate" must be EQUAL--- that's why it is called an "equation". Try this : Programming = Programming, or maybe Composition = Composition. Now, let's assume, for the sake of sheer entertainment, that your "equation" is grounded in logic, and we'll see how it holds up under any kind of relevant application : my father is a software programmer. Shall I phone him tonight and explain to him that he is a music composer? No, he isn't--- and he isn't BECAUSE "programming" does NOT equal [musical] composing. Conclusion : Programming is just that--- programming. By the by, Mozart penned his symphonies, via his ABILITY to work through his arrangements, in REAL TIME, and on musical instruments. I refer you to my last post, and ask that, if you CAN refute my points, one at a time, and without digression, then please do so.
Posted by programming = composing:
just because it isn't done in real time doesn't mean it's not true musicianship. missy and mozart up in a tree, P-!-S-S-!-N-G on kirk hammett's hair plugs
Posted by what u don't like missy? not "clever" enough 4 ya?:
then go and listen to yr bob dylan songs u overliterate twit hahaha or maybe play yr weird al records backwards aga in looking for the funk! hey i heard limp bizkit's in town, better get yo ticket
Posted by allofnothing:
jazz i think thats supposed to be part of 'missy-e's 'appeal'.
Posted by jazz:
I have no ideal what she's saying.
Posted by allofnothing:
yeah good idea 'crazyj' but where you going to find a room that big?
Posted by crazyj:
missy sucks i cant stand her music she looks like a troll id like to put her and rosie odonell in the same room with one doughnut let them fight over it the come in and beat them with a baseball bat
Posted by allofnothing:
i think a large percentage of america should be able to fit into missy's oversized jeans,mags,so i dont agree with your logic.and madonna and missy are just advertising puppets,they're still your average low quality gap jeans.
Posted by allofnothing:
sure,korn and static-x are 'way better',though im not too sure about metallica.
Posted by Mags:
Static-X, Metallica, and Korn are way better then missy smell-a-sh!t
Posted by Mags:
Missy sucks... why the hell would we want to buy jeans that she and madonna wore?
Posted by zee:
Hmm. I occasionally play computer games. Therefore, my career is that of assassin. Yes. We feel the logic.
Posted by DeadSun:
( once the laughing fit has subsided ) Here's a quote for the annals of antiMUSIC : "Maybe her rhyme doesn't rhyme". ( more laughter ) Someone ate a brain tumor for breakfast, didn't they? Now for the "DJ" : Does Elton John program his piano to sequence notes for him, record it, and then hit "playback" everytime he plays the song? No. You see "DJ", down here on planet Earth, a musician is generally regarded as one who can display at least moderate ( but preferably adept ) REAL-TIME control of a musical instrument. I love the logic accumen present in these ongoing debates. "Hey man, I'm a race car driver." "I didn't know you could drive a race car?" "I don't--- I do it on a computer, but it still simulates a driving experience in a vague way, so I am a race car driver." NOW : do you see how utterly INANE that scenario is? How is that any different, PRAY TELL, than those who say "I'm a drummer--- I can't do a thing behind a real kit, but I play computer aided drums on an electronic box." Good luck with the race car driving, "DJ".
Posted by ??:
And another thing. Are you 12? wE cAn'T taKe aNyonE seRioUsly thAt wRiteS liKe tHis. We already know how stupid you are if you like this crap, why bother confirming it with your lame ass excuses for it? RAP=retards attempting poetry. Get over it, it's crap and you're a sucker that buys it!
Posted by ??:
Missy, Timberduck and those other idiots ARE NOT musicians. They do not play musical instruments. Programming a drum machine does not a musician make. Your arguement about Elton John and the piano is stupid. I mean come on. He could play his songs on a beat up old piano and they would still be the same. But if Missy and Timberduck tried to create their "phat beats" on a cheap drum machine it wouldn't work. So give it up. These posers should credit the real musical genious behind the crap they call music.. BOSS, Alesis and ProTools. And another thing try knowing about real music and playing real music before you go off about being making intellegent comments. Especially when you come off with that lame crap you posted. To the ditz with "sometimes the words just flow" excuse, give me a break. Missy is illiterate, plain and simple and you idiots buy that crap! Says something about you. Now go off and get screwed some more by idiots with drum machines that can't figure out a rhyme for "yo".
Posted by Dj CoLd SwEaT:
Music makers such as Missy, Timbaland, The Neptunes, etc... are on another level, and if you're not a fan of their music or their respective genres', then you will not fully be able to appreciate there genius. Ohh!! and let me see how many hundreds of thousands of dollars people offer to pay you for the beats YOU create on a drum machine. The drum machine is the merely instrument and muscians such as Missy, Timbaland, The Neptunes, etc... are the geniuses behind that instrument. That's like saying Elton John's music isn't good because he makes it so, but because of the type of piano which he plays on. We all know that isn't true!! For future refference I suggest that you stick to genres that you are familliar with so that you may be able to write about them intelligently.
Posted by Wendy:
Dude, Sometimes it's about random words that flow together that create a rhythm, a feeling, a groove, and a beat. Sometimes it's not about reading into it so deep and trying to find a rhyme. Maybe her rhyme doesn't rhyme and that is what makes her shine? Sometimes its about this is my flow, this is how I flip it, ride with me on my groove. The words are only there to help you find her groove - not to lead you anywhere. I don't know -- just my thoughts because I think Missy is and will remain a diva.
Posted by allofnothing:
D-man,thats hilarious man,keep it up.and why would 'it' be reading on antimusic?
Posted by D-man:
u-no wat? All ya'l catz got nerve hatin o missy, if ya'l aint a fan then dont worry about her. How u gonna b mad at her when im sure she doin betta den ya'l r. ya'l just mad caz she gotta life! obviously ya'l aint got 1 if ya'l aint got nuttin 2 do but complain a-bout somethin u dont like. so all ya'l haitaz suck a dick, n missy if u read dis i want u 2-no i love u n dont b thinkin bout dese haitaz aiight, n u doin yo thing u lookin good mami!
Posted by Hangover Black Poo:
What really pisses me off these days are all of these nobodys being featured by rap artists who act as if people are supposed to know who the f*ck these nobodys are! I mean, who the f*ck is Murphy Lee!? I saw a video the other day featuring this assh*le and everyone in the video was saying Murphy Lee this and Murphy Lee that - WHO IS HE? Every time I turn on TV there's another "featuring" song or video. If these assh*les are so good why don't they have their own song instead of being featured in somebody elses? Next up a video by Jay Z featuring Bustop Bathroom. After that a video by Snoop Dogg featuring Square Root Down Pizzle Pants who decided to bring along his buddy Wamsutta Z. Sticky Beef. Ridiculous.
Posted by allofnothing:
I'll take that last post as directed at me deadsun and point out my rather stupid name on here is allofnothing,not all'for'nothing as you probably thought.enough about me,how come we've still seen noone posting on how exactly Missy is a 'genius'?I want answers people.
Posted by DeadSun:
I know, AFN... I just couldn't resist.
Posted by moi:
ur rite, she sux
Posted by aG:
100% hater and proud of it! Gotta love Missy Ill'iterate fans.
Posted by allofnothing:
those last two posts were surely sarcastic deadsun.
Posted by DeadSun:
Will antiMUSIC provide us with an interpreter for the two posts below this one, or at least mail out some handy "Ebonics-to-English" pamphlets?
Posted by Luv Ya Missy.E:
She dont care if her songs ryhme or woteva at least she gets da message thru. Rap aint jst bout rhymin it can b bout otha stuf like life money and otha sh*t!
Posted by Luv ya MissyE.:
She is gr8 u sado!! If ur not a rap fsn then y the hell do u care. Actuali u r da only pathetic h8er.
Posted by DeadSun:
"I ain't feelin' it, dawg." Sad, really. This poor girl is no better at beastiality than she is at speaking English.
Posted by Missy Elliot:
Hey,rickson gracie,foool!peeps only playin' wit me wen they say i iz not tha dopest rapper ever,bro course they all know it.only you bro seems to be hating the no.1 biatch they call Missy-E.and i ain't feeling it dawg!
Posted by rickson gracie:
Missy is horrible..just the worse ever..and she think people are always 'hatin' on her. It's not 'hatin', it's more like 'your a horrible rapper.'
Posted by Missy Elliot:
hey don't be dissin' on my grandmutha Madonna ho!
Posted by a girl:
Peke, get a clue and a spell-checker. Apparently Missy's such a genius that every pop star and their grandmother(Madonna) seems to be wanting to get in on her "innovation". Seriously, I have no hope for these people and their fans. Its quite sad.
Posted by peke:
missy elliot may be considered a genius and i guess she is! her music videos r the best!
Posted by EME:
God Bless Lithium, someone out there finally recognizes that there is still good hip hop music out there, other than all that Bling Bling Missy, Jay-Z, JaRule, Ludacris, Nelly, everythign on the radio!!! Ever heard of guys like KRS-One, Gangstarr, De La Soul, the Tribe...bless them all!!
Posted by DeadSun:
Retiring? Oh, that's alright. Remember--- she was perfectly content back on the farm, with her snout buried in the trough, before her five minutes of fame commenced. Oink.
Posted by Timbaland:
I had to quit, people kept associating me with that fat (not phat) hack Missy.
Posted by Missy Elliot:
My main bro,Timbaland, is retiring becuz I made him WORK IT too daimn hard boy.
Posted by aG:
Timbaland is retiring. Guess ol' Miss E is SOL.
Posted by Missy Elliot:
I ment to say i iz losin' my skillz not ooo.....erm,YEEAAAHHH
Posted by Missy Elliot:
Yo wha'sup bro?this is tha real missy-e bringin' it to yo.so whats going down aside from my sh!tty rhymes,no?i be bringing you some phatty jeans with my grandmutha madonna,ho!---Break it down!---*dj scratch that shiat*-wikky-wikky-we-wikoo-wo-wikky-wikk-wikk-woo---hey aG man dont playa-hate,instead son,congratulate,im missy-e and im overweight,so i can afford to be overpaid-just go reeal slow or missy choke an' she lose her flow-and that flow i be telling ya be over beats from roland.inc from over tha road-brah you need to see ma light before i run you over in my new ferrari-it moves real fast and its a carrr-(*speeds up the tempo*)i was on mtv showing off ma crib to ma family-course being on mtv gets my a lot of credibility-i got no rhythm cuz i alwayz gut my freek on-but bestest off all is a genius making my rhymes based on nothingness means you cant disagree with ma lyrical content-and im so f*cking fat i can't be bent.....(*spoken prose*)ooo is losing my skillz-bezt get timbaland to write me some new sh!t.
Posted by Ericskreemer:
Get A Life!
Posted by Big A:
I think you are very right Missy rhymes suck!
Posted by Spatula:
I have a computer.
Posted by mike g:
people think shes innovative because in interviews, she talks alot about the innovative nature of her music, which can be credited to producer Timbaland (not a drum machine). Hip Hop and other forms of music are different because the producer used to sample sounds and piece together an instrumental, but these days use synthesized sounds and live musicians' work and chop/piece it together. So the producer makes the music and the rapper merely picks them (unless they are also involved in the production process as a MC/Producer or MC/DJ or something). Missy Elliot has an original style, but this style musically is totally based on Timbaland's beats. Another example of Timbaland's work is Aaliyah's "Try Again." The syncopation and analog synthesis used in his beats were precursors to the Neptunes' further simplification and syncopation of mainstream Hip Hop production. Missy Elliot as a MC is laughable. The only thing she has going for her is voice and polish. Her delivery is very polished and smooth, but she doesn't have much to say. From the music videos that I've seen from her, her style seems to be spaced out and cartoony (exactly how her beats sound and far from original). If you want spacey rap, peep labels like Galapagos4, Anticon, Def Jux, Big Dada, etc. There is no originality in her style. In a time when people like Qwel (Galapagos4) are spitting lines like "Can I rhyme five syllables/I climb style pinnacles" with wordplay like "just cos I stand over you don't mean you understand me," it is surprising that such a successful rapper can get away with one syllable nursery rhymes or rhyming the same word AND manage to have zero content.
Posted by tinwhistler:
i like her songs, cant tell you of any special song, they appear and then dissappear again, without leaving me anything but funny colorfull impressions videos and tight beats, which are nothing special either. bogus.
Posted by Jason:
Kyle lets be honest with ourselves there are a hell of alot better popular musicians to aspire to than Missy Elliot! you dont seem to be thinking clearly.
Posted by ??:
I love it when people say her "beats" are innovative. Any monkey can program a drum a machine. Her videoes are as lame as her songs.
Posted by Kyle:
Hey, be nice to her. I need her. She gives me hope. That someday, I can be a famous rapper. Hell, If missy elliot can do it. SO CAN I! But honestly, I think Missy's innovated not because or her rhymes. But for her beats or what ever the hell they are called. And her videos are good? I don't know, i'm just a simple rock fan.
Posted by the voice of reason:
hey aG. Maybe its a White Stripes sorta thing. You know, where the drummer is sooooo untalented she's actually good?
Posted by Rory:
Val you comments have got to be some of the stupidist things I've read since reading over Missy's lyrics. 1)It's not about "rhythms" as much as it is about being unique. Not having talent makes you unique? Is rap all about rhyming? She does her own thing, yeah and it sucks. She has no talent, face facts. You don't have to be a fan of rap to "understand" how much she sucks or to understand the "concept of it". What concept, talking rhyming lines to a drum machine beat and destroying classic rock songs with lame ass samples. Not much to understand there kiddo. Don't make it out to be something deep and meaningful, it's crap put out to sell cd's. 2) She worked hard. She did? It sure doesn't show in her "music". 3) I don't any of you making.... so? That's a childish excuse, why didn't you follow up with "you're just jealous"? Sounds like something a 14 yearold would say. Vanilla Ice went platinum and he still sucks much ass. 4) If I was Missy I'd be thanking God all day long for all the ignorate fools like Val that one, buy her crap and two, actually try and defend it as more than it is. Total crap that brings down rap to a whole new level of suck. She is a discredit to all really talented rappers out there. Val, instead of spending $20 for the next Missy Elliot CD that she wrote in recorded in an afternoon, take the money and go buy a clue!
Posted by ??:
laughing at Val's reasoning. Hey that singer can sing in key, that makes her unique. You don't like it so you don't understand how being tone deaf is talent. Hey Val, I smell something. Yup, it's BULLSH1T!
Posted by Val:
I don't think it is about how she rhythms as much as it is about how she is unique. She is a person who has her on style and does her own thing as far as music is concerened. I don't feel that you should judge something that you don't understand. As you stated you are not a rap fan therefore you do not understand the concept of it. It's not all about rhyming it's about making your music sound good (as is any genre of music). I admire Missy because she is an artist who reaches out to all people. She is not just focusing on selling to blacks. I feel that it is very disrespectful to down someone who has worked so hard to become successful. And although she is successful she remains humble. That, to me, is far more important then saying, "there and their." Instead of focusing on how she isn't rhythming or what rappers aren't doing what, how about let's all focus on what we are doing. I don't see any of you making 7 grand to be in a tv commercial. Neither am I, but hey I am not dissing someone because I don't understand there style. And for everyone's information, I am the type of person who listens to all kinds of music. One does not stand out above the other. One more thing, before you decide to down a person's music because of them not rhyming the way you might like, i.e. Missy, listen to the first person she thanks for all her success--God! I think that is who you all need. Or maybe just a life!
Posted by Pappy McGrass:
Only good hip hop out there is Atmosphere. This coming from someone who's not a rap fan.
Posted by aG:
Generalization is where it's at, didn't you get the memo? I don't think all rap is crap, just 99.9% of the commerical variety we get in the mainstream, with nothing really to say and all the uhh huh, uh huh, yah, yah's. There are talented rappers out there that actually show a since of rythem with the vocal lines and have something to say beyond "my bitches, my hoes, show me the money and da bling, bling" but you don't hear much about it because it got so marginalized by all the crap out there like Missy. I still prefer music by musicians and real vocals but I don't rule out all rap, just most of it.
Posted by Razjml:
While I agree with you Lithium - i think - that really has nothing to do with the article. AG didn't make a generalized statement of how rap as a genre is crap, he only ripped on Missy Elliot, which is a perfectly respectable and officially recognized past-time. In fact, this might actually be the first time in antimusic history where the columnist DIDN'T make a generalized statement about rap while tearing apart a rapper. I congratulate your glaring omission AG, and expect an errata from you any day now
Posted by LithiumBliss:
Maybe before you learned to double post, you should have learned to keep an open musical mind. I'm no huge fan of rap, I'm a true musician, and I believe music is played by humans playing musical instruments, not people programming machines or scratching records. But there is very good rap out there, it is a legit form of expression. I love punk, but a lot of punk sucks ass. I love grunge, but there was lame grunge. There is good rap, you just have to seek it out instead of choking down MTV and Piss Diddly's version of it. There is even good country music, is you have an open mind. The only music that truly blows is opera and fake tit and 30-year-old faget music, known as Britney and BSB. Kevin Richardson must be the gayest of the gay. People look down on 30-something living in their parents' house, but that is way better than being a BSB puppet. Word up, homiez! Nome sane?
Posted by intoxication:
Back when i was a dumb freshmen in highschool trying to "be cool" I listened to that rap sht (dont shun me, i am no longer the misguided sheep i once was). And even back in that pathetic, regrettable, lifestyle i still didnt listen to missy elliot. In fact i thought she was terrible and a damper to society. Thankfully I outgrew that ignorant pop culture style and found the music that I truly enjoyed and was not slapped in my face by Mtv and told to like.
Posted by intoxication:
Back when i was a dumb freshmen in highschool trying to "be cool" I listened to that rap sht (dont shun me, i am no longer the misguided sheep i once was). And even back in that pathetic, regrettable, lifestyle i still didnt listen to missy elliot. In fact i thought she was terrible and a damper to society. Thankfully I outgrew that ignorant pop culture style and found the music that I truly enjoyed and was not slapped in my face by Mtv and told to like.
Posted by wdf?:
It took me a while to decipher that last rant - could it be sado masochist that you meant, hotpad?
Posted by hotpad:
people listen to missy elliot for the same reason they listen to yoko. theyre satal masicus'.
Posted by MasterOfPuppetz:
hilarious, and yet, so true. Lets talk about any freaking rapper that cant make sense in a song. I cant stand it when a song has no real meaning, and it is just a bunch of stupid crap strung together. One good think I can say about eminem, is that at least his songs tend to have a "subject", and the lyrics tend to involve this "subject", a lot of rappers cant even get this basic thing down, its pathetic...
Posted by Ape Farting Through Megaphone:
DeadSun, you crack me up.
Posted by DeadSun:
OUR business as consumers, on the other hand, is to correctly recognize it for the laughable puddle of dog vomit that it is. Ciao.
Posted by DeadSun:
Its only business, Hobo. If 13 year old girls suddenly started going crazy for the sounds of apes farting through a megaphone, then the journalists, whose respective companies will direct them to write applaudingly about whatever trend will help them sell copies of their own publication, will do exactly that.
Posted by Hobo:
Its amazing the fraudulance these music journalists commit when reviewing Missy Elliot: ""She has conjured the dirty rawness of funk and the smooth, hyper-articulation and commanding, ass-shakin' beats of hip hop and coated them with her own strange, space-age gloss. It is brilliant" - I mean sh*t. If you've got NOTHING to write about (in regards to both the music and the review) could you just not f*cking try? Sit down and stop killing my music.
Posted by Shakespeare:
Muse of the Green Realm, I beg thee to shutteth ye bitch orifice, ho. :)
Posted by GREENMUSE:
missy inspired me to be the man i am today.perhaps her inherent lack of ability is really self imposed and she is the shakespeare of our time.
Posted by DeadSun:
PS--- the Table/Paper "rhyme" has all the comedic absurdity of a good Monty Python skit.
Posted by DeadSun:
Missy Elliot : her popularity stands as a testimony of why we are not ready for rule by the people. Would you really want the segment of the population that finds this horsesh*t STIMULATING to have a say in national policy? Call me elitist all you'd like, but I'll take a representative Republic over THAT potentiality any day of the week. Good stuff, aG.
Posted by martyr:
how can you make such comments with lyrical brilliance like this excerpt from in ma grill "If you want me, where's my dough? Give me money, buy me clothes No need for talking, have my dough Where's my money? Where's my clothes?" simply exquisite
Posted by yo ass be gettin capped:
u be a retard dissing missy's flow. u don't know flow yo. timbaland be creatin da phattest beats yo. missy rhymes be social commentating yo they be word yo they be straight up the street yo.u be likin justin timberlake yo he be fag of fag yall. here be his flow. yo i'm a fag i know a paper bag cuz i'ma fag she's on the rag but don't bother me cuz i'ma fag. u call dat flow? yo? now dis be flow! i be missy yo/ don't call me ho/ yo/ fish taste good yo/ camera take pics yo/ sky be blue yo/ yo mama yo/ war and peace yo/ supercalifragilistic yo now dat be pomez u be raceist dis missy yo aG meenz alwayGAY timba be phat but jayz be da shizzle ma nizzle tellivizzle chipbeeffizzle gritsizzle mo park sausage mazzizle pleazzizzle WORD!
Posted by Hobo:
Hahaha, that the stuff I love to read. I love it when you get even denser gangster rappers who manage to create an amazing atmospheric rolling rhyme when they rhyme "f*ck" with "f*ck" and "f*ck".
Posted by aG:
yes Chris, I agree. But the bigger question along those lines is: why would she rap about such stupid things?
Posted by chris:
FIRST POST! good top 5 man, but you should have shown how irrelevant and talentless her rap LINES were along with her ryhmes....i mean, she can go from a line about sweaters to a line about water...whats the deal with that?!?
