No More Drugs for Britney

(Hecklerspray) You know what Britney Spears has to do if she wants to keep her kids? No, not try to wear a pair of knickers for once in her effing life - although that'd be a start - instead, Britney Spears has to undergo random drug testing.

According to the judge in the Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline custody b*****fight over their two young children, Britney Spears is a "habitual, frequent, and continuous" abuser of both drugs and alcohol, and if Britney Spears is serious about keeping her children, she'll need to submit herself to random drug tests to ensure that she's keeping her nose clean.

"Huh?" you're probably thinking, "If Britney Spears is on drugs then why doesn't the judge immediately hand custody over to Kevin Federline?" And the answer to that is simple - because he's Kevin sodding Federline. Seriously, Britney Spears would need to set one of her babies on fire and throw it out of an aeroplane to make Kevin Federline even look like a halfway suitable custody prospect.
- more on this story

Click here to read today's full report

Related News for Britney Spears

Preview and Purchase Britney Spears music