According to the judge in the Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline custody b*****fight over their two young children, Britney Spears is a "habitual, frequent, and continuous" abuser of both drugs and alcohol, and if Britney Spears is serious about keeping her children, she'll need to submit herself to random drug tests to ensure that she's keeping her nose clean.
"Huh?" you're probably thinking, "If Britney Spears is on drugs then why doesn't the judge immediately hand custody over to Kevin Federline?" And the answer to that is simple - because he's Kevin sodding Federline. Seriously, Britney Spears would need to set one of her babies on fire and throw it out of an aeroplane to make Kevin Federline even look like a halfway suitable custody prospect.
- more on this story
Click here to read today's full report
Related News for Britney Spears
Preview and Purchase Britney Spears music
On the Blue: New Horizons Cruise Days 4 & 5: Starship Lands on the Pearl, Alan Parsons Takes It Home
Kandace Springs - Run Your Race
On the Blue: New Horizons Cruise Day 1: Marbin Gets the Fun Started
Hot In The City: Prog Band Tu-Ner Coming to Phoenix
blink-182 Launching North American Stadium And Arena Tour
Watch David Gilmour's 'The Piper's Call' Video
Check Out Powerman 5000 'Dancing Like We're Dead'
The String Cheese Incident Take Fans On Epic 'Roll Around The Sun'
Watch Motley Crue's 'Dogs Of War' Video
Richie Sambora Returns With 'I Pray', The First Of Four New Songs
The Smashing Pumpkins Reveal New Guitarist
Linkin Park Top Hard Rock And Vinyl Albums Charts With Papercuts