Any movie critic can tell you what a newly released DVD is about & spoil the ending for you. I plan to ruin your entire DVD watching experience by highlighting it's flaws, it's missteps, it's examples of poor editing, casting, and point out the ridiculous holes in the plot. If you're cynical, you'll appreciate this valuable service I'm providing. If you're easily impressed, then don't say I didn't warn you.  - Mean Jean

I know, I know. You AntiMusic types are unlikely to buy & watch either of these gems. So I'll review them both, so you know what you're missing. Hopefully you march right into Wal Mart (who currently isn't carrying "Luther" out here in the sticks!) & buy them at once. It will set you back $40 to do so, but so what, it's only money. Once you realize the greatness inherent in them, hopefully you'll agree with me. 
 
First off, is "Luther", a film made by Lutherans, for the general public. I'm more of a fan of church history underdog John Calvin, but there is much to like in this flick, anyway. Rather than this being a grainy, poorly acted propaganda film that screams the 'turn or burn' Gospel till you want to puke from having your uvula rammed against the back of your throat with a Bible, it's comes across as simply an interesting lil' historical study
on a famous dude not many people know much about, in spite of his gigantic role in history. How come there used to such an uproar about religion back in the old days? Could you imagine today's jaded AntiFans caring about this subject enough to even read this review? Ah, that is a humorous thought, eh? Best joke I've ever written, to date. 
 
Anyway, "Luther" doesn't even attempt to touch that question, preferring to pick up in the middle of the religiousosity that had seized the land under the Roman Church. A young, brilliant law student named Martin, (Ralph Fiennes brother, a remarkably good actor) vows to serve God if He spares his life during a thunderstorm, much to the disgust of his dada. Luther signs up the next day for 'monastery dude' at the local career fair at his college, and quickly distinguishes himself from all the monks. The higher ups earmark him for bigger & better things, and send him away for more education, with the ultimate goal of him becoming a teacher in the university. In real life it was his analytical mind and his devout piety that made him stand out from his peers, not his hysterically funny habit of engaging in psychotic episodes where he'd verbally & sometimes physically wage war against Satan. In real life the other monks could barely tolerate Luther, because he'd pester them all day long wanting to confess every single sin, which they thought was no big deal & he thought was a crushing burden that he took very seriously. Maybe some of that helped get him sent packing. But for whatever reason, he was shipped off onto a rollercoaster thrill ride© trip to Wittenberg via Rome to get a doctorate in theology. 
 
By the time Luther arrived in Wittenberg, he had become disillusioned by the hypocrisy that was the chief distinctive of the Roman Catholic Church. It was their practice of selling "indulgences", which were 'get out of fake purgatory free' cards that brought him into direct conflict with his superiors. From Luther's perspective, Roman thieves were traveling the land in the name of the Pope, robbing the desperately poor to fund the obscenely extravagant building projects of the exceedingly rich. It is said that the fantastically ornate & elaborate St. Peter's Cathedral in Rome was built on the backs of the poor, funded entirely by the sale of indulgences to them. When the robbers came to Marty's town, there was an old west showdown, as Luther tried to protect his flock from being preyed upon. The Papists used their inflammatory theatrics to terrorize the ignorant peasants into submissively handing over their gold. Luther protested this theft by deception in writing. His "95 Thesis" began the downfall of the Roman church, as one person after another read them and realized they had been getting sold a lie all along. Today that is a seemingly irrelevant news flash, but back then, it was literally a staggering reality. I can't even think of an example of how fundamentally upsetting this was.

Imagine if every Hollywood movie began accurately showing what takes place after death rather than the present day 'good deeds outweighing the bad deeds' system of judgment that gets wrongly depicted time & time again. As shocking as that would be, even that would pale in comparison to how fundamentally upside down this turned everything. Religion was a whole lot more important to old days people than to today's people. In this religious climate, after years of everyone believing that being accepted into heaven is based on our efforts, some guy comes along & conclusively proved through common sense that it isn't what you do that gets God to accept you, your deeds only condemn you. It isn't dead, irrelevant works, mindless, repeated chants, or the amount of cash that exchanges hands that gains you entrance into heaven. For a 'climb the ladder' religion to suddenly become dependant on the atoning death of Christ to pay for the sins of those who turn to Him in faith, and that alone; after years of thinking that you have to do it for yourself, to suddenly have to rely on the merit of Someone else, such a revelation literally tore the world of established religion apart. The invention of the printing press with movable type at this precise point in history ensured that this matter soon spread throughout Europe and the world, rather than remaining a private religious debate between a small town teacher & the established religion of the universe. This drove the subsequent murderous rampage of the RC church, in their vain attempt to keep people from knowing & proclaiming the truth. 
 
The "95 Thesis" are an interesting, easy to read historical document that you might even want to consider checking out, yeah right, as if any of you are even reading this. They aren't a boring treatise on some obscure, hair splitting theological debate with no clear right answer and little relevance to everyday life. Instead they are an excellent articulation of the many abuses of the Roman Catholic Church of the day, and where the truth can be found. At the heart of this document is the very relevant answer to the question, how does one get into heaven? Though some points of the 95 today, happily, are irrelevant, there are no longer fire sales on indulgences at the Vatican, for instance, still, such weighty, eternal matters are at least worth of pondering for a second or two.
 
Mean Jean sez, buy this movie, new, now!! This is a very, very impressive movie, very engaging, very well written, humorous, and thought provoking. It won't insult your intelligence or bore you, I promise, so run out & buy it, quick! Send a message to Hollywood that you have a brain, and sometimes you like to use it. 
 
"Mary Poppins"
 
Another movie set in the old days, when actors were incredibly, multi talented, the story lines were entirely, dazzlingly original, when songs were catchy & snappy & when the dancing was funny & clever. I just love Disney musicals from the old days, but even if I was a new visitor to this planet, I'd still like this movie a great deal. 
 
A very, very young Julie Andrews and an equally youthful Dick Van Dyke star in the rollercoaster thrill ride© tale of a magical nanny & what happens to the kids in her charge. There, doesn't that summary make you want to run right out & buy this 40 year anniversary re-release, while you're buying "Luther"?
 
Probably not. Ok, let me try this. Remember the days of early MTV, when they used to show videos? Weren't those first few videos hysterically funny? No one knew what they were doing, so they all did the same thing, with hilarious results. Every single video was tough guy (or girl) posturing, while the band badly pantomimed playing their instruments, forever ensuring a steady supply of fodder to enhance one of the many "(insert number here) Worst (insert musical genre here) Videos of all Times" TV shows that get trotted out every time ratings start falling off. Although those early MTV days were halcyon ones for music lovers, they led many young people to believe that good acting, whether in videos or in movies, is a recent phenomenon. 
 
Amazingly, Mary Poppins proves this is far from the truth. If video stars of the 80's had watched this diamond in their childhoods, maybe those videos of yesteryear wouldn't be the screaming laugh fests that they are today. Maybe if Hollywood expected this much talent out of today's stars, we wouldn't have the 'fueled by beautiful' trend in movie making that we have today. Many people know that Brad Pitt & Tom Cruise are horrible actors, to name only 2. Actors of their caliber can only express any given emotion with one of two facial expressions: the bored look, or their other look of being stunned yet blasé. Hey, wait a minute! That's the bored look, too! Man, those dudes suck at acting, I don't care how God rearranged their facial DNA, they need to find a different line of work, quick. Maybe Brad's impending divorce will send him into such a tailspin of depression he'll go become a counselor at a camp for kids with terminal cancer, love the fulfilling work so much that he turns his back on Hollywood & devotes all his time & resources to his newfound surrogate kids. What can Tommy C do instead? He could host some copy cat TV reality show, where people fight each other in some symbolic yet pointless battle, for some not very impressive little prizes along the way, like Chicken Mc Nuggets or the latest fashionable jeans, in hopes of gaining some big, desirable prize like a brand new (insert sponsor's name here) (now insert the product the sponsor is pushing here) or buckets of cash!! Well, little ones, gather 'round a bowl of popcorn. "Mary Poppins" will show you that people in the old days knew how to act! 
 
The songs & dances are exemplary. Unless you are determined to watch this movie, grimly determined to prove to yourself that I'm an off base, idiot liar, (Please!! By all means, go ahead!! Do that with both of these movies!) there is no way you won't be drawn in & utterly enchanted by the limber limbed, rubber faced D.V.D, the acting ancestor of Jim Carrey. As I watched him interact with the cartoon critters, the little kids, in the dual role he played way back when, in front of the incredible, incredible, breath taking animation from the dark ages of drawing everything by hand, I just can't think of what to say, for a change. Oh, well no one's reading this at this point anyway, so no worries. I could insert my mouth watering recipe for chocolate cheesecake at this point & only God & I would know the difference. So I might as well continue! Julie Andrews was rejected for the lead role in the "My Fair Lady" movie, even though she was Eliza on the stage, was the thought that kept scampering through my skull as I watched her act & sing & dance. Man, even back then, Hollywood was full of idiots who made questionable decisions. (Though the chick they got to be Eliza in the "MFL" movie was dandy, too. If "MFL" ever gets a '(insert number) Special Edition Re-release', I'll run out & buy it (you should too!) and I'll tell ya who she is & why she rocked in that role.)  
 
Even the kids' acting in this is great. All the fuss & hype over every little childhood actor of these days, gimme a break! Did good, underage actors come into being with Macaulay Culkin & his funny, soap operatic family? I think not. Those 2 lil' squirts in this flick, whoever they are, show that even way back in the old days kids could act without overacting, and be refreshingly convincing. And, they could really sing, too! What a dramatic concept! Hiring kids who can actually sing rather than settling for someone related to someone famous, that's good at lip syncing. (Or bad at it, depending on who their fall guy drummer is.) Either the kids are talented, or the editor & camera men were the most talented blokes in the business, and sure made them look it.
 
Nothing to criticize here, except the attention span of this movie's target audience of today, that is so benumbed by the lickity split action, frequent violence, computer animation, sexual innuendo, and today's PG & under's weak, if it's even there "plots" (if that's the right word for the "Pokemon Movie" type emesis forcibly ejected onto today's audience of children by Hollywood. Thanx, Hollywood! Right back atcha! You are doing a great job preparing tomorrow's ticket buying public to be mindless drones content to laugh at what you say is funny, and be coddled by your version of entertainment!) Such a thing means that it's really, really a hard struggle for the average tot to sit through the necessary scenes of character development & the storyline getting fleshed out. If I had to do it over, I would have sought out the book, read that to my bored kids first, then not had to cajole & threaten them with disembowelment to get them to watch this with me. They especially hated the singing parts, but I betcha after they watch it 17 more times, those parts will grow on them too. 
 
 Mean Jean sez, buy this new, but buy the book first & try 'family reading time'. I betcha if ya pick a central spot in the house where the kids can hear you read to them, in a face saving way where they can pretend they are ignoring you, they'll soon be clamoring for "...just one more chapter!" and actually look forward to seeing the movie. (I hope! I'm going to the library Monday to try that!) If you don't yet have kids, buy this movie, and start indoctrinating them with it when they are young pups. Hopefully they grow up to expect a whole lot more out of movies in general, and end up old & crabby & unimpressed by today's fare just like me!!
 
Of course, there is the chance that the true fans of the "Luther" movie, who would like that movie even without my recommendation will protest letting their kids watch the magic in "M.P." Mean Jean lovingly sez, lighten up. I too used to think like that, but gimme a break, if "Lord of the Rings" is ok, then this should be, too. And there's no terrifying Gollum in here to send your 6- year old rushing to jump into bed with you in the middle of the night because he's too terrified to go back to sleep or even change his jammies after the screaming nightmare woke him up, soaking wet from peeing the bed in fright. 
 

click here to buy the Luther DVD 
and here to buy the Mary Poppins DVD